Old attitudes live on.

Not precisely your line but on the topic of old attitudes.
Every time a new thread appears on the topic of DiLs (and there are many) the trite old saying appears
"A daughter's a daughter for all of her life.
A son is a son til he takes him a wife"
I am sick to the back teeth of reading this same hackneyed old line but clearly everyone who trots it out thinks she's being original!
It is NOT true and I 'm heartily sick of seeing it on GN!
Do you believe that a woman who is widowed finds it more difficult to be in a new relationship than one who is divorced?

Women live longer so I suppose there will be more widows.

mcem its cringey and old fashioned. How does it work for gay people!!!!!

Well batty can't answer for anyone else but my son has given me a lovely bright DiL and my daughter has given me a talented hard-working DiL too!

I think a lot of men still need a woman to look after them and some widows find that being independent has its good points.

I haven't heard the rhyme about widows and widowers since childhood (and that was a long time ago).

From what I read in the media I do not think that men who move on are treated better than women. Look at the way Rio Ferdinand has been slated recently for finding a new partner two years after his wife has died.

As for the one about DiL. I loved my MiL to bits, we got on really well and never had a cross word between us. It is the same with my DDiL. Ever since I met her I have wondered how on earth my son managed to persuade such a lovely girl to marry him.

All these cliches are just an excuse for lazy thinking and when you have made up your mind on a subject, like this, you only see the evidence that proves it and never notice anything that contradicts it.

I agree with a PP. On average women tend to live longer than men. Consequently you tend to find a greater number of widows than widowers. Statistically, too, you tend to find more widows than widowers and married men living in care facilities. (Speaking from my own personal experience of working as a care aide and then a nurse in nursing homes.)

My friend, who reluctantly let her husband who suffered from Alzheimer's, go into care having tended to him with devotion for years, was dismayed to see him flirting with the ladies. In fact he was so close to one of the other residents, he forgot his wife altogether.

That was hilarious Grammaretto.

Hilarious?? I found that very sad.

Gramm - so now we know what to do when the time comes.

Apparently there are 7 women to 1 man after the age of 75 so he will have more choice.
At our Bridge club we have a lot of widows and no widower. And I did hear that a good meeting place was the cemetry. One man who was waiting for his wife to finish planting the grave, was approached by 2 unknown women. New widows perhaps?

Sad and hurtful, not hilarious.

She did not find it funny. I think it was better than finding him miserable but she didn't see it like that.

Perhaps it partly reflects the fact that often the husband's work pension is bigger that the wife's. If a widow(er) remarries, or even establishes a new relationship, the late partner's half-pension is then taken away, and that would often be more of a problem for a widow than for a widower.

I think that this is grossly unfair. A couple I knew had a husband who paid into the pension scheme of a large company, then died in service. His widow had stayed at home when her DD was small, and so had a much smaller pension, but when she remarried, her share of her late husband's pension disappeared. He had many years of contributions, designed to keep them, or her as a widow, in old age, and I think it is a very patronising attitude to think that another man could automatically keep her and that the first husband's concern for her in old age should be disregarded.

I've heard it said that the happier a man was in his first marriage, the more likely he is to marry again quickly. The poor things are so dependent on us, they can't live without us.

Many women, on the other hand, do find the independence a compensation, even if they are lonely.

I think a lot of men, whatever their age, need a woman in their lives. My stepson in his twenties, lurches from one relationship to another, moving in together at the drop of a hat! His dad and I are just waiting for the fireworks when the current one goes tits up! ?

I was widowed at 57, over 5 years ago. I have male friends but no-one I would wish to live with full time. I'm happy on my own being a very independent person, that's not to say I wouldn't marry again if the right man came along

I was widowed at 25, moved to a new area, bought a house in a lovely cul-de-sac, but only one of the women there bothered to talk to me, and apparently it was because all the others thought I'd want their husbands! And when I met someone the following year and ultimately married him, my late husband's mother was horrified, told me I had never loved her son in the first place. She thought I should wear widow's weeds for the rest of my life, but with my personality, there was no chance of me fitting her ideal. And why should I, as has been said, women get lonely too, women have the right to a life, and just because we remarry, it doesn't mean we forget the husband who died, and nor should we, or want to.

Dont agree with you at all. I have been widowed for 11 years In that time I have had loads of offers for evenings out, meals, theatre trips etc. but not interested. I am quite content with my little life, family, and friends.

Don't know about anyone else, but I've certainly known several men who've remarried with what can have seemed almost indecent haste, after their first wife - often of very many years - died.

My mother always maintained that such men can't cope with household stuff and need a replacement 'housewife' to ensure their own comfort.

The woman who married my dh's grandfather very soon after his first wife died went through 3 newly widowed husbands in fairly quick succession!

My mother's verdict - 'She fussed them all to death,' - 'fussing' as in being extremely attentive to their food and general comfort. Since she was certainly no oil painting, and by no stretch of the imagination could ever be thought to exude sex appeal, I have to think my mother was probably right.

The reason men ‘move on’ more readily and quickly is for one reason only....they want somebody to ‘do for them’...they all want a skivvie. Widows take a deep breath and realise what they’ve been missing all thier married life and find independence and decision making a boon ...and like their widowhood. Well that goes for all my friends who are widowed. Win-win!

My observations are that a lot of men move on very quickly ( some women do too) my cousins wife had her next one lined up before he died They used to visit him together I feel sick when I see them out hand in hand now
Mcem I m with you entirely it really grates on me when I hear that old adage about sons and wives etc it’s like chalk on a board and second in cringiness to ‘hubby’ to my ears
I have a lovely daughter in law and had a nice mother in law

My grandmother who was widowed very young, and led a lively and independent life, said, when we were reading the obituary and amount one of her ex-suitors had left in his will, (which I pointed out might have been hers if she'd married him ) "Ah but if he'd had me to run round after him he'd still be here and it would be me they'd be burying."
Which has always seemed to me a fair appraisal of how things work.