Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

Double brandies all round, on the house, sheesh, this psychic stuff really makes me thirsty.
Mersey get your ghostly ass on a bar stool and tell us about the great unknown?

Please Captain stop shouting I can't hear what she's saying!!
Oh gransal has fainted and Thor is giving her the kiss of life, I can see a shape in the corner. It's hideous, like that ugly old bag under the sheet in that film The Others, it's got a puppet with it, a bit like Basil Brush.... Yes. It's Merseybelle and poor Little Paxo.

I hear a voice! Wait,.......it’s definitely her, and she is saying......
‘Where’s my sweet little Paxo’ oh, sob, this is just so sad.

Well I’ve reluctantly taken the nipple tassels off and replaced them with a burka. I hope now that I won’t frighten the spirits. Well, I’m well tanked up on grogg, poteen, and whatever else that shameless hussy gransal gave me. Now excuse me, can we get started, ooooh, I can hear those spirits already, oh no, it’s just Jude and Lemongrove in the cellar. Let’s get a move on girls, or the spirits will have gone into the cellar with Big Jim and GrannyGravy, and then we’ll never get them back.

Mersey is, is it really you? what’s it like on the other side?

Aaaaaargh! It’s all too much!
We shouldn’t be messing with the forces of darkness ?

Making contact - that smell again. Merseybelle if you are here please make your presence felt.....oh the glass is moving again... It is spelling out
F.....F..... It... No - Ferret! Not a rat a ferret.
Keep calm we often have glasses shatter she's coming through loud and clear now. Don't be afraid. Whoever said oh Jesus she's back it's a nightmare, don't be alarmed.

... Anybody there?
Yes, yes, I can feel something... Please GG13 leave George alone and keep your finger on the glass... Yes.. Here we go... I can hear music.. Getting louder.. The theme to University Challenge - the glass is spinning on the table... Keep your finger on it lemon, no the glass the glass!!

It's so dark in here I can hardly see... Oh sorry Doodle dear Lord is that wreck of a man, no it can't be, not what's left of Jude.. Oh maddyone you'll have to take the nipple tassels off, I insist... gransal please...
IS THERE ANYBODY THERE?

Well. Here I am on this gloomy wet summer evening ( think Richard Burton silhouetted holding his bag like at the beginning of The Exorcist) outside the Argy Bargy.
First thoughts - a definite psychic stench - second thoughts - have stood on a dog turd. I can feel an errie stillness about the place, the only sound a distant sniggering in the cellar and the sound of a barrel rolling.
Well - here goes...

Dearest lemon. This will come as a shock to you but dear gentle Merseybelle and her little rat companion have truly departed for that great Argy in the sky. I kid you not when I related earlier the supernatural manifestations occurring this very day!!!

BUT looking back through my diaries I find a mutual acquaintance which could explain her attempts to make contact. Many moons (full ones of course) ago I had just finished a summer stint at New Brighton pier when someone made off with my takings. Giving chase I tracked the miscreant down to an RV parked on the prom. After careful deliberation on my rights in making a citizens arrest I decided to kick the door in. Inside I found a woman counting my takings who I now discover was the sister of our restless spirit. She related how she had taken my money with the intention of handing it in to the police as she had found it unattended (for ten seconds) and wanted to help. My rage turned to admiration at her public spirited behaviour and we found we had lots in common, twelve months detention in the same prison for example. She was charged with robbery and I for crimes under The Fraudulent Mediums Act. A lifelong friendship was formed, at least for the three weeks remaining of the summer season.
There you have it - the connection stronger than a bad kebab which has brought Merseybelle to my door.

I am sure there will be psychic activity this evening and please make sure Thor's chest doesn't glisten as it upsets the spirits. xx

?giggle......nice to have you back you old fraud, here’s yer creme de menthe as promised.
How you managed to fake your own demise (and that of little Paxo) is a mystery!
We’ll see if we can rustle up the spirit of a former landlord,
Jolly Jack ( called that because he was a total misery guts.)
It do be said that on a dark night when there is an R in the month, he rolls about all the barrels in the cellar, and causes the dishes of peanuts and pork scratchings on the bar to fall off......ooooh, spooky!

A brief note with my requirements for the seance..

Nothing in sight to be twinkly (it confuses the spirits) so all fairy lights etc must be switched off.
No glitter - so maddyone et al must dress more conservatively (think Margaret Thatcher less Dame Edna).
26 beer mats preferably without logos, with the letters of the alphabet written on them placed in a circle.
A large wine glass ? empty and turned upside down.

Unfortunately I cannot bring my own ouija board as my poodle, Aristotle, swallowed the planchette. I was hoping it would have reappeared by now but his excessive fondness for boiled eggs is causing a delay.

I cannot guarantee the spirits will be with us but am sure if they are able - they will come.

I will prepare myself as something tells me a lot of psychic protection will be required and I don't want to run out of white light.

Arriva Derchy dear friends.

I have no engagements this evening so shall we say 8pm unless something unforeseen shows up?
I will have to pass on your kind offer of George though. I've never been attracted to men with little pods.

Physicfanny it's a deal when can you "appear" if you can contact our dear departed friends, we could throw 10minutes with George behind the coffee machine ☕️☕️☕️?????

What time will the seance begin? I'm only asking as I was channelling Benny Hill after lunch and he keeps getting interrupted by a gobby Scouse and what appears to be a dancing rat. The words 'Argy Bargy' mysteriously manifested in my cuppa soup followed immediately by a framed photograph of Arthur Conan Doyle throwing itself off the wall and an audible psychic phenomenon involving a four letter word. I think there may be a message for you trying to get through.
I am prepared to waiver my usual fee in return for a pint of something unpronounceable and two bags of pork scratchings. And Jude's autograph.

Great idea! Let’s have a seance tonight!
That will bring in the punters, hooray!
Does Jude have a crystal ball? I think you are confusing him with the admiral ( who also has a glass eye and a wooden leg)

You're absolutely right maddyone I'll have to switch from my ginger beer and try a glass.

Well you could very well be correct Caro, but what can anyone expect after several pints of that poteen stuff!

maddyone think you're getting Little Percy and Little Paxo mixed up !
lemongrove you could try a Psychic Night ! We could all peer in Jude's crystal ball and see if Merseybelle or indeed Little Paxo manifest.

Well that’ll bring her back to Earth pretty sharply. But what Little Paxo. I thought I heard someone was making something out of his pelt?

Ooh I like a spirit ??

She is resting on a cloud and playing a harp for a while GG13 but hope she will return to Earth shortly.
So, if you can see us Merseybelle put in a ghostly appearance in the Argy please......we will leave a pint of creme de menthe on the bar for you.?

(Lemon I haven’t seen Merseybelle posting anywhere on GN, do you know if she is ok)

No chance! I am up to your shenanigans ....Jude stays with me, although I do think he may be remembering his former life in Hollywood ( I have told him he’s been ‘the help’ in the Argy for the last ten years, so back me up on that, you lot.)