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Argy Bargy madness, come right in! 😜🍸

(1001 Posts)
lemongrove Thu 13-Dec-18 21:29:37

Ah, another year’s lease, wonderful!
Leave your worries at the door and put your feet up.

Charleygirl5 Fri 21-Jun-19 17:55:49

Carillion you do disappoint me by joining that lot. I thought that like me you were more refained. You need a very sturdy stomach to enter because food poisoning is high on the list. You also have to hunt high and low to find running water. It really is not for me.

Carillion Fri 21-Jun-19 19:20:44

Charleygirl, I tried to fight it all day, don't know what came over me, all of a sudden I just had to have those stilettos to wear. I'll try harder tomorrow. As it is I've stretched the mini skirt and'll have to put through a hot wash before I give it back to lemongrove. Just hoping she doesn't notice the extra slit up the side...the one I made by accident when I was doing the splits...

Carillion Fri 21-Jun-19 19:22:47

Charleygirl obviously the hot wash is to shrink the said mini skirt back to its small size, meant to say that...

lemongrove Sun 23-Jun-19 20:10:48

That’s the last time I shall lend my bestest clothes!😡
Btw, are these your thigh high white plastic boots I am wearing vena11 ......I love them and I will definitely give them back (next year ok?)
Off to the sales to buy another boob tube!

maddyone Mon 24-Jun-19 01:09:36

No Lemon, those boots are mine, I sincerely hope you haven’t stretched them.

Menopaws Mon 24-Jun-19 01:34:16

Have you not seen Lemons thighs? Those boots will never be the same again

Carillion Mon 24-Jun-19 13:57:02

Just got back from supermarket in Rennes (Aldi)...Distile Bio-Gin, 1ltr, 40% proof, 11.99€......(£10.75). Bought two, one for me and one for The Bargy...purely for research purposes, obviously

Menopaws Tue 25-Jun-19 20:43:32

And very nice it was too!

lemongrove Tue 25-Jun-19 21:59:40

Doh!
Trust Meno to polish off the free gin ( and now she is lying on the fur rug in front of the fire, snoring away) wait a minute....the fur rug seems to be on the move, it’s the Captain! He’s wearing my old Afghan coat from my hippy days, must have stolen it from the cellar.

gransal Tue 25-Jun-19 23:09:56

If meno and the captain start scratching in the next few days, my chief suspect would be the coat. I have first hand experience of this ( don,t ask !!)

Doodle Wed 26-Jun-19 13:19:49

Oh no! I’m itching all over. Must have caught something from that coat when I was with the captain. Trust you lemon Afghan coat indeed 😡
charleygirl I am beginning to have my suspicions about you. 🤔 For someone who is too refined to come here, you seem to be spending a lot of time in the Argy. I think you’ve got a crush on the Admiral. I’m right aren’t I 😀

Day6 Wed 26-Jun-19 13:33:35

I could hear the racket coming from the Argy. Blimey - day time activity from the tarts regular clientele.

Mind you, when I peeped in a few minutes ago, (on the way to the harbour for a few crabs*) the regulars were slumped over the bar. It was quieter. Always is when they are inebriated. Seems like I missed out on the free gin - dammit.

* One of the regulars told me to forget the harbour. I could get live crabs in the Argy. Hmmm.

lemongrove Wed 26-Jun-19 19:16:03

Day6...the cheek of it, are you casting nasturtiums on the Argy’s good name regarding cleanliness by any chance?
Humph!😡

lemongrove Wed 26-Jun-19 19:19:11

Ah, yes, my old Afghan coat could tell a few tales you know,
Happy days!😁
That’s what I thought about Charley too, as she isn’t too refined to be propping up the bar every day, and has been batting her eyelashes at every man here.

Day6 Wed 26-Jun-19 19:59:23

Well the Argy is always a bit whiffy - it is part of its charm - but I suspect the recent smell of a thousand wet dogs comes from that coat. I am sure I saw it inching its way across the floor last time I was in. It was positively crawling. I expect lemon threw it on the floor thinking we'd see it as a bit of upmarket decor - like a sheepskin rug in front of the fire. hmm

Blimey, rugs in front of the fire. Don't give the regulars any ideas. It's best they keep their nefarious activities with the opposite sex (or Maureeese) down in the cellar. Thor and Trev look shattered these days. I do hope they get paid for all the 'overtime' they have to put in.

Is George Clooney still tied up down there?

Doodle Wed 26-Jun-19 20:04:18

What do you mean whiffy day6 .😡. I’ll have you know I’m wearing the very best Eu de toilette. 😠. I splashed it on straight from the pan earlier this evening, so there 😀

Day6 Wed 26-Jun-19 20:13:46

Doodle, you are one of the classier regulars, without a doubt.

I imagine you might smell slightly of Harpic mind. I did sling a bit down the loos earlier on. I expect most Argy folk will be wondering where the fabulous scent is from.

I saw Trev oiling up his torso with chip fat earlier too. I hope your smell erm, perfume, overpowers his. That chip fat hasn't been changed since 2003.

Doodle Wed 26-Jun-19 21:01:36

Ooh Harpic. My favourite perfume. Thanks day 😊

Carillion Thu 27-Jun-19 14:18:43

Is it true...canapés are soon to be freebies left perched on the Argy Bargy bar soon?

lemon, is that why you asked me to buy the tins of own brand "Meoww,-Meoww Tuna"?

They were on offer, 3 dozen for the price of 2 as long as you bought the 'Sea-farers' long-life gin. Bargain ⚓️⚓️

Doodle Thu 27-Jun-19 20:45:21

Well I can turn my hand to a good vol-au-vent so get opening those delicious cans of ....tuna carillion. Now I think we could also serve some nice mini cheeseburgers so if you’ll pop back to the shops for a couple of cans of high quality mince (the type found in the 🐶 food aisle) I will make some and if you pop down to the cellar after I think you’ll find some mouldy cheese in the mousetrap. Perfect!
😊. The Argy catering department is up and running!

Menopaws Fri 28-Jun-19 02:53:11

No I shared the mousetrap cheese with George clooney in the cellar the other day (well he said he was GC but I think it was Trev putting on an american accent). Anyway we had an impromptu cheese and wine night to keep our strength up. I say wine but I think it was poteen.

lemongrove Fri 28-Jun-19 08:26:12

I fear you were all correct about my old coat, I have now got rid of it ( sold it to Maureese for a fiver) and told him/her not to wear it to work.😁

I can help out in the bar on and off over the weekend, but will be away Mon/Thu on a mini break ( modesty forbids me to say where or who with) so you will have to carry on
Without me.I’ll come charging in with mop and bucket on Thu night so watch out!

Menopaws Fri 28-Jun-19 15:32:48

Enjoy but resist buying a new coat please

Carillion Fri 28-Jun-19 15:54:13

Fear not Lemongrove ...I've got the hang of this now...the ABCD ...you know, ...*Argy Bargy Catering Department* will be safe in..? someone's hands ...while your on your next spying mission...oops! Sorry.

It's a shame that Meno and her paramour got to the cheese first but when I ventured to the celler for the first time I managed to scavenge some impressive looking capers. They were all over the place.

So, canapés and Doodles vol-au-vents are still on track...

Carillion Fri 28-Jun-19 16:09:38

Sorry ...of course having been to a Paris finishing school I meant cellar 🇫🇷

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