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Argy Bargy madness, come right in! 😜🍸

(741 Posts)
lemongrove Thu 13-Dec-18 21:29:37

Ah, another year’s lease, wonderful!
Leave your worries at the door and put your feet up.

GrannyGravy13 Tue 20-Aug-19 21:27:10

Sorry have I missed the seance........I have just come to behind the coffee machine??????

Psychicfanny Tue 20-Aug-19 21:09:56

OK then I'll lock up for you before I give the wheels an old twirl.. You'll have a UTI wearing that thong, I defo predict 🔮

lemongrove Tue 20-Aug-19 21:02:50

Well, we would certainly hope so 😁

I don’t know about turning all the heads, more like their stomachs!
‘Pretty girls’ ?! GIRLS? Time for a visit to Specsavers again Psychic ?

Now, I have somewhere to be, if I leave the keys with you can I trust you to lock the bar later? How do I look btw? These killer heels are well named and my red pvc thong is giving me gipp.😖

Psychicfanny Tue 20-Aug-19 20:54:43

Oh yes my son spent many happy days at Tit Hall, I know it well.
I think your club is a strange place sweet Lemon full of weirdly exciting people and with an atmosphere unlike any other. I'm not surprised there's so much psychic activity. And so many of your regulars look strangely familiar. Well they are strange and they are very familiar, particularly that temptress doodle who appears to have insatiable appetites and not in the food line. And the girls are so pretty
(take care or you'll have Prince Andrew round) and so enticing with all that Botox and clingfilm. No wonder they turn the heads of all the male clientele. Just like the young star of The Exorcist in fact.
Others have remarked on my similarity to that Scouse misfit but I take it as a compliment. After all there can only ever have been one Merseybelle in this forlorn world, can't there?

lemongrove Tue 20-Aug-19 20:41:45

It’s a cheque for a tenner or nothing, the till has nothing in it but the usual old buttons and a bent Irish sixpence.

lemongrove Tue 20-Aug-19 20:39:29

Ah, a tale of two bars is it?
Am not sure if I want to enter the pearly gates after all, if there’s plastic waste and it looks like Brighton on gay pride day, all those rainbows give me a migraine.
Of course, I may not be going to enter there anyway after my misspent life of crime and grime.I may be headed to ‘the other place’ ( but that’s ok, I like Cambridge.)

Psychicfanny Tue 20-Aug-19 20:35:44

She's gone!
Hopefully never to be back.
I'm exhausted. Lemon dear one - a treble brandy and £350 please. Its what Merseybelle wanted.
No... No cheques. I want to get to Gentings before it closes.. My nerves.... The white light....

Psychicfanny Tue 20-Aug-19 20:31:28

Lemon she says the Argy was the best of days, and the worst of days and it is a far far better thing that she does now than she's ever done before. She says Little Paxo dances and dances, not on a cloud but on all the plastic waste that's even washed up in the hereafter.. apparently St Peter is fed up to the back teeth with it and blames the Argy for all the pork scratching packets.

Doodle Tue 20-Aug-19 20:28:12

Crash!! 💥💥💥 who turned the b***dy lights off? I’ve just fallen arse over tip down the cellar stairs, and what’s all this chanting about. Psychic for goodness sake take that sheet off, you’ll frighten someone 👻👀

lemongrove Tue 20-Aug-19 20:27:56

That’s enough from you Mystic Meg, we have had enough excitement for one night thank you very much!
Here take her bottle of Jeyes fluid and her marigolds, and a bottle of Bog Hobgoblin in lieu of wages for her.😄

Psychicfanny Tue 20-Aug-19 20:26:43

gransal she says buy a lotto ticket because you're going to have a bit of luck and there's money coming to you soon..... maddyone they caught your face on one of those secret things at Kings Cross so you'll have to try somewhere new after the Argy closes.... Tell doodle if she and that jezebel lemon don't ease off there'll be another spirit in the cellar as Jude is drooping and fit to drop. Permanently.

lemongrove Tue 20-Aug-19 20:24:02

maddy you mean the constant whooping noises? That wasn’t me, it was Jude, I have inadvertently flattened him( note to self...must go on a diet.)
I just caught a glimpse of Jolly Jack, it was a whiskery face anyway, round the kitchen door, we have awoken that which should have been left sleeping!😱 could have been the Admiral.

Psychicfanny Tue 20-Aug-19 20:20:43

Lemon she wants you to know its very bright up here. A bit like Brighton but sunnier and with less rainbow flags. And she says you didn't pay her the three weeks you owed her but you can give it to me instead and I'll make sure she gets it.
maddyone she says you've lost something....some kind of appliance...she says it's rolled under your bed.. Try poking it out using an umbrella..

lemongrove Tue 20-Aug-19 20:19:50

Psychic you are the spitting image of our dear departed, perhaps you are her sister or cousin perchance?🤔

maddyone Tue 20-Aug-19 20:19:12

Well I definitely heard you in the cellar with Jude, Lemongrove. Are you sure it’s her? You were making some very ghostly noises with Jude.

lemongrove Tue 20-Aug-19 20:17:14

Double brandies all round, on the house, sheesh, this psychic stuff really makes me thirsty.
Mersey get your ghostly ass on a bar stool and tell us about the great unknown?

Psychicfanny Tue 20-Aug-19 20:14:59

Please Captain stop shouting I can't hear what she's saying!!
Oh gransal has fainted and Thor is giving her the kiss of life, I can see a shape in the corner. It's hideous, like that ugly old bag under the sheet in that film The Others, it's got a puppet with it, a bit like Basil Brush.... Yes. It's Merseybelle and poor Little Paxo.

lemongrove Tue 20-Aug-19 20:14:22

I hear a voice! Wait,’s definitely her, and she is saying......
‘Where’s my sweet little Paxo’ oh, sob, this is just so sad.

maddyone Tue 20-Aug-19 20:13:17

Well I’ve reluctantly taken the nipple tassels off and replaced them with a burka. I hope now that I won’t frighten the spirits. Well, I’m well tanked up on grogg, poteen, and whatever else that shameless hussy gransal gave me. Now excuse me, can we get started, ooooh, I can hear those spirits already, oh no, it’s just Jude and Lemongrove in the cellar. Let’s get a move on girls, or the spirits will have gone into the cellar with Big Jim and GrannyGravy, and then we’ll never get them back.

lemongrove Tue 20-Aug-19 20:12:18

Mersey is, is it really you? what’s it like on the other side?

lemongrove Tue 20-Aug-19 20:10:42

Aaaaaargh! It’s all too much!
We shouldn’t be messing with the forces of darkness 😱

Psychicfanny Tue 20-Aug-19 20:10:40

Making contact - that smell again. Merseybelle if you are here please make your presence felt.....oh the glass is moving again... It is spelling out
F.....F..... It... No - Ferret! Not a rat a ferret.
Keep calm we often have glasses shatter she's coming through loud and clear now. Don't be afraid. Whoever said oh Jesus she's back it's a nightmare, don't be alarmed.

Psychicfanny Tue 20-Aug-19 20:04:32

... Anybody there?
Yes, yes, I can feel something... Please GG13 leave George alone and keep your finger on the glass... Yes.. Here we go... I can hear music.. Getting louder.. The theme to University Challenge - the glass is spinning on the table... Keep your finger on it lemon, no the glass the glass!!

Psychicfanny Tue 20-Aug-19 20:00:51

It's so dark in here I can hardly see... Oh sorry Doodle dear Lord is that wreck of a man, no it can't be, not what's left of Jude.. Oh maddyone you'll have to take the nipple tassels off, I insist... gransal please...

Psychicfanny Tue 20-Aug-19 19:57:07

Well. Here I am on this gloomy wet summer evening ( think Richard Burton silhouetted holding his bag like at the beginning of The Exorcist) outside the Argy Bargy.
First thoughts - a definite psychic stench - second thoughts - have stood on a dog turd. I can feel an errie stillness about the place, the only sound a distant sniggering in the cellar and the sound of a barrel rolling.
Well - here goes...