Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

Ah! Is that why he complained about me touching them?

He doesn’t complain when I touch them ?

Well...... they are on the small side and, as you can see, they fall off easily.

? do they re grow?

Well...... they were originally like cannon balls but years of cramming them into a leotard and tutu were his undoing Doodle. However, there is an upside...... he can now stand on his point. Allegedly.

I may have to take his hammer away .....I don’t want crushed nuts all over the bar top.
Right, everybody out, am calling Time and locking up the bar ( and fitting an alarm to the till....Marydoll still has a key to this place.)Until tomorrow, sweet dreams all

Ahem, and by point you mean what exactly chewy?
No wonder lemon keeps him all to herself.

I think the point has got a bit blunted lately ?

Sorry to be in so late ( and miss my turn cleaning the lavs) but have been doing my Christmas shopping , first stop Harrods, second stop The Pound Shop ( once I had clocked Harrods prices).In the end, I bought you all a giant Toblerone.☺️

It was sharp before ? that could be painful (might explain the holes in the floor though ?)

Giant Toblerone lemon! With all those corners! What are you trying to do to us? Er, how big is a giant one lemon? ?

Ok lemons’s busy with the ball so I have free run of the Argy. Over here boys, you are all mine ??????

Haha! Well, even I can’t be in two places at once Doodle☺️
A giant toblerone is the biggest one I could find in the shop,
(For £1) and my generosity knows no bounds......no need to share you have one each.

No boys in here btw, they’re all over seventy, so go easy, think of their dicky tickers!

While I’m here, pour me a large rum and poteen, I shall be in the comfy chair with the Admiral if anyone wants me.

Thor is not over 70 also I’ve been out and recruited a couple more to help with the Christmas rush. Meet Randy and Dandy. Nice boys. Just standing on the street corner so I invited them in. ?

lemon wake up! You’re squashing the Admiral and he’s complaining. So are the punters, your snoring is waking them up ?

Sorry!?
Well, Thor may not be over 70 but you have to admit...he’s seen better days.
Am opening the bar early today ..
Offering coffee and mince pies to the Christmas shoppers, charge them £3 .....
It will be easier than doing the dinners, am sick of peeling spuds and sprouts.

C’mon Doodle get the log fire going and I’ll switch on the fairy lights ( a fair division of labour) and get the coffee machine plugged in.
Anyone fancy an early snifter of schnapps?

lemongrove It fails to amaze me how you noticed the lavs have been cleaned because they are certainly not up to my high standard. Does nobody realise our loos actually flush? I knew I should have stayed away.

Ahhhh! Nearly time for the Argy big bash! Can't wait.

Loving your haute coooture for the big event Lemon, specially the spangly basque and knickers but not sure about the Doc Martens?? What's Doodle wearing? not that leopard skin and feather tutu again! I wouldn't want to turn up in the same toggs plus, I intend nicking borrowing her stuff ???

Just poured a round of early 'bash' Argy cocktails following your eye of newt receep. They're on the bar, hurry up, CHEERS and toodle pip xxxxxxxx
?????????????????????????

Crumbs if we start on that lot this early carillion we’ll never last till Christmas. Oh well, down the hatch ?
Ok lemon the fires on and I’m just going to squirt some poteen in the loos to make charleygirl happy (poteen being stronger than bleach any day).
More mince pies coming up - don’t drop them on the floor they might crack the tiles.
I have a new outfit for Christmas. Lurex sparkly leggings with a white basque top fitted with flashing Fairy lights in certain strategic places and a sparkly tiara so there carillion

At least Doodle you noticed the lavs needed cleaning so thank you.

thankfully I do not like mince pies- I would end up without any teeth and at present, they are all my own. I have not decided what to wear- I can no longer wear high heels so that narrows it somewhat.

the outfits I have seen I would be paying on the never ever forever. You lot will be pie-eyed so you would not notice if I arrived wearing a nightdress and dressing gown. I will probably wear wellies because heaven knows the state of the floors.

Well, here I am, whaddya think of the outfit? Unexpected hey?I knew it would knock you all for six.....look at your envious eyes! ?
I thought we would go out with a bang, all dressed up like a dog’s dinner, seeing as how we have nearly reached the end of the road, sigh.
Come in, dear regulars, put your feet up and enjoy a large one on the house from now on in ( I have spent all the money in the till btw on my new outfit.)

.....and if these are to be (sob) my last words in The Argy, I would like to thank you all for your invaluable contributions over the years. The constant lav cleaning, the baking, the pulling pints, the chasing of the barmen, the chucking out of the drunken Admiral and The Captain, the clearing up after Jason the alsation, the catching of escaped ferrets, the catching of the escaped George Clooney, the brushing of Marydolls ginger wig ( which we thought was a cat for some time, asleep on the bar.)
For all the hard work organising talent nites, karaoke nights,
And anything to bring in some much needed cash.
Take a bow, all of you? xxxxxx

Oh lemon I feel so sad. What will become of all those sequinned outfits, what happens if the ferrets come back looking for us? What will soop do with all her cooking?
??????
Will we be missed? I think you aught to make a new thread to announce the closure of the Argy and offer some of the stuff for sale so that everyone knows the time has come ....... How much do you think we’d get for Thor? I must go any lie down now. It’s all too emotional ???????

Ought not aught

Well, time for the last few words on here, I fear an auction wouldn’t bring much in, Thor has decamped and taken Jason the alsation, the ferrets have all deserted us ( the rats!) the ginger wig has vanished ( maybe it really was a cat, after all)
And the Admiral and the Captain are off on naval manoeuvres.
One last look around the bar, and a last pint of poteen, what fun it’s been.....but life moves on.
Cheers!