Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

Had a strange encounter today, a bearded old gent in an anorak came in and bought a tomato juice, then started to
‘Hold court’ in the bar.He looked vaguely familiar and was
Telling anyone who would listen what he could do for our country( and good salt of the earth folks like us)..he asked if we were paying our staff well.Bloomin’ cheek! I told him straight ‘they get all the poteen they can drink and a clip round the ear’...then I showed him the door ( the one that
leads into the kitchen that I’ve just painted) he liked the bright red colour.
Unfortunately I left him with the Admiral and a few minutes later there was a punch up, as the old sea dog had been on the
Brandy all afternoon.The bearded old gent left quickly, in fact he forgot his Lenin hat.. I am wearing it as we speak, it gives a quirky touch to my outfit.
Must dash.....Thor needs a hand with another difficult customer, a hefty blonde chap who is posing for selfies and demanding champagne while he dishes out blue leaflets ( he was eyeing my silver thigh boots earlier) let’s get that bum outa here!

Thank you dear soop much appreciated, we will flog it for
50pee a slice.

No peeing in the bar lemon not now GG has cleaned the loos. My goodness we have become popular with some strange groups.
Time for a drink methinks....large one all round lemon? And a drink to follow ??

Yes, mine’s certainly a large one Doodle I can hardly get onto a bar stool these days.
Cheers keep them coming, it’s been a difficult day.

We need bigger stools lemon my bum overlaps both sides now and sometimes when I leave at night I have a barstool firmly wedged between my buttocks . Perhaps we could invest in some of those cosy sofas the more upmarket places have ... and a small crane to lift me up out of them ?

Ok you lot. Where are you. It’s Friday night, the punters are in and there’s only me and Thor to man the pumps (well that’s what he’s doing......I have my own version ?)

Get yourselves back here sharpish and help out or I’ll keep all the poteen to myself.

Phew! What a day.....sorry Doodle but I had to go all the way to Soops Kitchen to collect some tattie and neep pasties
For the Friday night customers.Just got back, and think I will eat one or two meself, they will go down nicely with a pint of
Old Uncle Fred’s best bitter.
The sofas are a great idea, I mean we do have some but they are so old and saggy and crumpled...oh wait a mo, that’s the Admiral and GrannyGravy13 fast asleep on them, let’s just roll them gently onto the floor shall we, and have a sit down.

That’s more like it. soop’s tattie and need pasties are the best for soaking up the alcohol. Like cardboard and blott8ng paper. Delicious ?

Doodle Don't go spreading the word that my baking is something to be sampled willy nilly...I pride myself on serving the discerning. Not many of those in the Argy

Tykes!!! The lot of you.

soop willy nilly are not words to be banded about lightly in the Argy. You never know what might happen next ?

Too right!?
The Old sea dogs in the corner may be ‘one foot in the grave’
But like the song ‘give them half a chance and they can still misbehave’ ?
Getting late, let’s get these customers out and lock up the bar.

One for the road lemon? ????????

This has really cheered me up,

I've not been out out for weeks

Have a drink on the house pam. We aim to please. ??

cheers Doodle

A new member of staff?Or just a customer? Either way, welcome to the bar Pam put your feet up here anytime you like, or if you’re feeling energetic, the mop and bucket are out the back and put plenty of Dettol in (before Doodle drinks it all.)?

8.37!! ?. What on earth are you doing up at 8.37 lemon........unless of course, you haven’t been home yet. What were you up to last night you naughty lemon and more importantly, who with ?

That’s for me to know and you to find out Doodle Haha ?
I don’t do much sleeping these days mind you, we have to make the most of life in our twilight years.???????

Am wondering if we should put on a Christmas meal at lunchtimes, everyone likes it and why not make a bit of cash ahead of the rush?
It doesn’t have to be turkey, we can be creative ( ahem!) must add a few sprouts to the shopping list.I wonder if Soop will make some Xmas puds for us?Whaddya think?
Am starting to wear my Christmas bling, this gold glitter top goes well with my silver hotpants and the reindeer headband.
As the lease for the bar ends before Christmas, let’s go out in a blaze of glitter and lights shall we??⭐️??

Yeah. Right with you lemon I’m sure soop will provide some tasty morsels.
Who votes for a Christmas pudding onion bargy kebab. Yummy ?

Just popped in for a quickie on my way home. Home, for the next few weeks is Malaga, some 1,200 miles from Manchester so can you be quick about it? I’ll have a pint. .... of wine (as Nessa would say). Sorry to rush but I won’t have time to hang about at the bar, sure you’ll understand!

D’ya like my blue bikini? Bought it yesterday and had to pose in it as I’m pleased with my figure since the new diet. Must say it’s a bit nippy wearing it over here - good job I brought my teddy coat as a wrap for going back to the airport.....

Ooh urm dressed like that you’ll fit in well here. Mind you ok wouldn’t fancy you’d last long dressed like that with the Admiral and Captain about. Goodness only knows what lemon would think if she saw you ??

Lemon, love the Christmas advert for The Argy but how did you persuade Thor and the Admiral to dress up as The Cheeky Girls!!???? Genius.
We'll definitely beat that John Lewis to top prize this year.

Think what cracked it tho was your appearance at the end, twerking swirling across the screen in your basque and spandex.
Just off to get the stuff for our Christmas 'do' spray tans ?