Cremation or burial?

My mum always said that she wanted to be stuffed and put in the corner so she could keep an eye on us all,it didn’t happen lol.
My fil donated his body to medical science but my husband felt as there was never a service and didn’t know what had happened to him that it was hard to come to terms with it.
I have a prepaid funeral plan, my husband got too ill to be able to discuss it almost overnight and it was awful when he died,emotionally and financially, even the cheapest funeral, no cars and as only the children and I and his cousin we were able to use the smaller chapel and that was over £2500, don’t want my children to have that worry when I go,hopefully not just yet though

You can also get 20% off writing a Will with Co-Op Legal Services, taking it down to £118.80 (for a single Will). Here's the link: www.rememberacharity.org.uk/making-a-will/start-will-online/

I want to be buried in a natural burial ground, ideally with a tree planted if it is not too crowded. I would like this to be a small family ceremony.
Funerals are for the bereaved family, and if they want to, I would hope they would also opt for a service of thanksgiving in church, with friends present and wonderful music.
I need to write this down in a letter of wishes, to go with my will. In the UK, requests about funerals are not binding on the executor, whose priority is to execute the financial side . An expensive funeral will leave less for the beneficiaries,

Will glass coffins be a success?
Remains to be seen!

Cremation every time! Like the magician's trick; a puff of smoke and you're gone, but for real!

My late grandma was a devoted Catholic . She always said she wanted to be buried. That was until she became quite poorly at the age of 99 and announced that she did not want to be buried after all but wanted to be cremated. She said she no longer believed in the vanity of a headstone and wanted to be remembered just for who she was (pretty amazing in my eyes) . She had passed on her change of mind to her priest so I was in no doubt . We still went ahead with the full Catholic service and her coffin lay in the church over night.

For me, as quickly and as cheaply as possible please. No frills at all .

Talking recently about funeral arrangements my daughter asked me:
"Dad, would you rather be buried or cremated?"
I replied, "I don't know, surprise me"

Thank you Bob Hope.

Yes, we have a valid will, stating burial for me certainly. DH said the same originally, but has perhaps changed his mind to cremation and his ashes spread at sea. Better check that while we are both fit and well!

Decided long ago, that if one of us dies abroad then burial takes place there, as neither of us see the point of paying transport home. I have stipulated a requiem mass in my parish church irrespective of where I die and am buried.

If a cardboard coffin is not legal where you are, you could ask for a Jewish coffin. They are made of unvarnished (unpainted) boards as everyone is equal in death and don't have any religious symbols on them.

Do check the legal aspects of your wishes. Here in Denmark it is illegal to be buried or cremated without a coffin, and you need special permission, which is rarely granted, to be buried on your own ground. I should think a grave in the garden would make selling a property nearly impossible.

I know we all have to die, but I would not be comfortable with a human being buried in my garden! Cats and dogs, yes, but somebodies DH or DW or baby, no.

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/green-composting-death-environment-washington-state-afterlife-a8712406.html

This initiative caught my eye.
Hoping that it catches on ...and in time for me to take advantage of it!

What do others think?

My late husband wanted a cardboard or wicker coffin as he thought it would save money. It was actually considerably more expensive so I ordered the cheapest wooden coffin.

I agree with Paddy Anne. We are donating our bodies to medical science. No headstones or any paraphanalia like that as we wish to be remembered in peoples thoughts.
Our son and daughter are agreeable with this but no doubt will give us a champagne send off.

Direct cremation for me so no service at all . In the long run what does it matter if you have been a good mum/daughter/granny you will live on in their hearts ? I have been to so many funerals where I wondered who the celebrant was talking about as it was not the person I knew .Have been to a few humanist funerals which were good but I would rather have my ashes scattered where I want them to go and dispense with the rest.
I would also hate my family to feel they have to visit my grave as a duty.

We updated our wills last year when we realised that our original ones named my brother as guardian to our children---who are now aged 41, 39,36!

As for burial/cremation. All my children know that I want a woodland/natural burial with a tree planted over the top of me

I'm another one who needs to update the will I wrote years ago. As I have had long-term chronic health problems and have recently had a significant life-impacting diagnosis, I will also need to check the 'Living Will' I made is still valid. My long-term partner and his business partner have volunteered to make a coffin for me (I specified to do it on the cheap!) This is something I now need to give some serious thought to, so thanks for reminding me not to keep overlooking or ignoring it.

I have chosen my favourite coffin!
I LOVE it - natural wool colour choices - and British wool too - I think the cosy softness is so comforting.

www.naturallegacy.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Adult_Neutral.jpg

I've seen them being made and they are really simple with blanket stitched edges. It just seems fitting.
My family all know about it, so unless I'm "wowed" in the meantime by a different product (!) that's what they'll do.

Wicker coffins squeak when they are moved. Best to be aware.

Paddy Ashdown MP had a wicker coffin, and yes they do squeak and creak loudly.

The first time I was at a funeral where the deceased was in a wicker coffin, was when I chose one for my unclewho couldn't bear the thought of a tree ever being cut down.

DD ended up trying to crush hysterical laughter, because she said as he was borne in, she saie, the coffin sounded as though someone was bringing in a picnic hamper - and once you get a fit of the giggles at inappropriate times like this, they just escalate.

If you are considering donating your body to medical science, it is essential to have all the paperwork in place beforehand, and even then they might not want you. I recently had to arrange my late uncle's funeral. He wanted his body to go for medical research but even though he'd done all the paperwork, they weren't accepting any bodies at that time so we had to make other arrangements.

I want a now frills cremation, a green coffin, and no service.
I've talked about it with my kids and I really don't care what happens to my ashes but my son's do so I've asked for them to be scattered in woodland which they are happy to do.

I was brought up Catholic, my immediate deceased family have all had burials, I think that's what's expected, well that was certainly the impression I got from my mother's priest when I was arranging her funeral. I think they will do a cremation these days, although I think some clergy can be a bit sniffy about that. I visit the graves of my parents and sibling a couple of times a year to do a bit of maintenance, I can understand the raison d'etre behind cremations there isn't any tie to a particular place and of course burials take up space. My husband has always told me he wants to be cremated, he doesn't like burials. Burials are of course incredibly expensive once everything has been paid for, but that expense is met by the deceased's estate, so their money anyway. I think it's incumbent on the person arranging the burial to adhere to their wishes. I was left very clear instructions as to a requiem mass and burial so I went with those.

We are in the process of making new wills because as we live abroad we have to stipulate that our wills are to be under British law which is different to PT law. Living abroad we will both be cremated with no service because we are not Catholic. When my mother died here 4 years ago she was cremated and I took her ashes to England where we had a memorial service for her. Her cremation including everything came to €2100 which was the same as the amount paid by a friend for her mother 4 years earlier.

I will be cremated but have said to DDs/DH that whatever they want to do in terms of a 'service' or 'memorial' is fine by me!

I think burial for a child is probably a better option as parents /siblings may need that place. But when death is in the proper order then I think cremation is a better option but know it is a very individual decision. Neither of my parents have a permanent memorial other than in our hearts. But when I look at the old and weathered stones in the local churchyards there is nobody remembering them.

I was inspired to leave my body to medical research after reading Professor Dame Sue Black’s book but my husband was quite upset by the thought of not having a funeral for me. I want the simplest cremation possible but with some sort of service with my chosen readings and songs followed by a good knees up. Why are green options for coffins so expensive? I liked the idea of a cardboard coffin with messages written on it by friends and family but not now that I know the price of it.

If you're planning to donate your body to medical research, please bear in mind that they may not necessarily accept it. It all depends on whether they have enough bodies - or even the "right" type of bodies at the time - so you need to have a Plan B in place just in case. This happened when my mum died - she had specified that in her will, but our local medical school already had their quota of bodies and couldn't take any more at the time. I personally like the idea of some of the new ways of getting around the problem, such as the green composting, dissolving the body, resomation (Google it) or even freeze drying!

We recently made a new will and the solicitor advised us to make any funeral wishes known to our children or other family members in writing since putting them in the will means that they will not be known until after the funeral when the will is read,