Death Doula/Soul Midwife

I would have thought hospice staff would be trained in all aspects of assisting a dying person.

"Soul Midwife" is a ridiculous name.

It just seems a bit on trend to me. Round here, MacMillan nurses (who do not just deal with cancer) and the hospice at home service fulfil those roles - and very splendidly too. I assume that the same exists in other parts of the country. There is no need to pay for it.

We were talking to the doc from the hospice the other day, when she came to visit us, and she was very reassuring indeed about this as OH was saying that in the event he starts to fail he wants to be kept at home as far as possible.

Macmillan were worse than useless for my daughter.
She came twice in ten years, and the second time was because my daughters' friend had contacted our mp.

Luckygirl for you and DH.

A friend had a bad experience with Macmillan, too, but it was a doctor, not a nurse. She visited my friend when she was all alone, and told her - very briskly and efficiently - that she was dying, and did she want to die at home, in hospital or in a hospice?
My friend was the type who would not give up, and felt the need to fight to the very end. Evidently, though, that was not 'allowed'.
Friend said, 'They want me to be reduced to a weeping wreck, so that they can then be very kind and pamper me to death.'
It was years ago now, but I've never forgotten that.
I dare say my friend was very unlucky that the doctor was so brisk and insensitive, but it certainly put me off Macmillan.

That is sad - the Macmillans round here are absolute saints.

I didn't PLUCK it gonegirl I had a wee battery operated thingy that sort of combed it off .Anyway she wanted it taken off she was quite an image conscious woman ,even on her deathbed .

Macmillan was abysmal with my relative. Its a sad state of affairs when, in something like a 100 year period structures have broken down, and we have to pay for help.

Sorry paddyann I'm sure you were only carrying out her wishes.

My daughter is always trying to corner me to pluck out my chin hairs. Grrr.

Oh gone girl, you do me a world of good, thank you,

Why thank you Grandmashe43! That's very good to know.

gonegirl not a problem,she actually said she wanted to look nice for her "viewers" which caused a lot of hilarity with her and my sister ,that was also why she needed her nails done. If you'd known her you would know you didn't refuse what she wanted.Her GP said she wa sthe most carnaptious old bugger he knew ....lol

? Good for her paddyann.

I had a dear Aunt who also had an unfortunate experience with a Macmillan nurse. On the one occasion she visited when DA had terminal cancer, she advised her to take paracetamol for the pain!

What a ghastly moniker ...death doula/soul midwife.
Another trendy idea dreamed up by ...who?

Its the name that puts me off! Sounds such a pretentious name for a practical service. Surely end of life care is something to be shared by family, healthcare staff and with relevant church support.
I've known nurses to take on this role but they'd never call themselves 'death doulas'.

Gonegirl

God you have made me chuckle on here.

Op hope you found what you wanted and to anyone going through sad times x

I think both are ghastly

Luckygirl I have heard positive things about MacMillan locally from different people. I have been given a contact for MacMillan for if/when I want to get in touch. I hope if I do feel the need for them they will turn up trumps.

I found the Marie Curie nurses wonderful they helped us so much during OHs last weeks at home I couldn’t of done without them.
They did what I imagine a death doula might do.

and getting rid of her "moustache"
Ooh yes, paddyann - I do want someone to do that for me, and any stray hairs on my chin. I've asked DIL, hope she remembers.

If ever anyone tries to pluck out my facial hair when I am busy dying, I will come back and haunt them in the worst possible way

but I don't people to come along and say 'Oh! I never knew she had a hairy face, she kept that well hidden!'.

How many people do you think's gonna look at you when you've popped your clogs?!

Depends where you die Gonegirl. In Ireland you might be seen by hundreds of people who call to house or funeral home where body is laid out. The come to pay their respects to deceased and sympathise with relatives and often comment on appearance of deceased? - not negatively- but in private I can imagine hairy faces might be noticed.
I’ve known a few cases where teenage grandchildren have done the nails of dead granny - might sound bizarre but they actually felt good about doing one last thing for her.