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Loud people

(85 Posts)
Jane10 Sun 24-Feb-19 09:54:20

Is it just me who has an aversion to loud people? I don't know if this has crept up on me or if some people, usually women I'm sorry to say, have got louder.
I was at a ladies dinner the other week and actually winced when a woman near me started to talk. It was loud and quite hard edged. Over the course of the (not very interesting) evening I worked out that there were about 5 out of 40 people there with one of those voices. Everyone else seemed to talk at a reasonable volume and pitch.
Is it that some people want to dominate conversations? Are they hard of hearing - although these 5 were all in their 30s-50s.
Och. Maybe I'm just an old curmudgeon!

aggie Sun 24-Feb-19 16:40:46

My Mum was a teacher , we had to remind her she had left the classroom !
Every one ignores me so I must have a very quiet voice confused

SalsaQueen Sun 24-Feb-19 17:37:47

I know what you mean. I went out with a couple of friends last night, for a few drinks and to watch a local band playing in the pub. There was a group of about 6 women, all shrieking and cackling at the antics of an older woman who joined their group.

I have got a quiet voice and find I couldn't get my voice to be loud, even if I wanted to

bluebirdwsm Sun 24-Feb-19 17:53:25

I also have an aversion to loud people and avoid them if I can. They like to appear confident but you don't have to bellow all your business to the world to be confident. They are just gobby and full of their own self importance.

In the case of a loud family member it is due to feeling inadequate so she is over compensates and it's often showing off, and usually about what she has got/where she's been. But she has been broken into and robbed a couple of times so someone has overheard alright! Shame.

MissAdventure Sun 24-Feb-19 17:57:48

Its not even necessarily all about the voice volume.
It's body language, and all kinds of subtle things too.

I'm big on people watching.
I do like the occasional loud person, but I feel really really shy with very loud, confidant people.
Even writing it down gives me a sense of unease.
Says more about me than them, perhaps?

Mycatisahacker Sun 24-Feb-19 18:19:14

I detest those parents who are talking to the entire carriage, bus or shop etc when they are addressing their child. Loud parenting and they look st other adults to hope you look and admire them an their parenting skills.

I usually yawn. grin

Jalima1108 Sun 24-Feb-19 18:21:42

They are just gobby and full of their own self importance.
Or just a bit deaf like my DH
who says he is not deaf.

callgirl1 Sun 24-Feb-19 22:05:30

We have a very large East European community here in Boston, and I`ve noticed that most of the men have very loud, deep voices, not shouting, just ordinary talking. We are the only British household along this stretch of the road, and one of our neighbours has a very loud voice. We dread him being home for any prolonged period as he drowns out the TV unless we turn it right up.

MissAdventure Sun 24-Feb-19 23:01:51

Do you think we're quite uptight people as a whole?
Keep our personal spaces in place, feel slightly uncomfortable when feeling the warmth of the previous occupiers bottom on a bus seat...

Jalima1108 Sun 24-Feb-19 23:04:33

Not as reserved as we used to be MissA!

Sitting squashed up next to each other on tiny chairs at a school do last week was a big ask though.

Fedupgran Mon 25-Feb-19 19:36:29

There's a chap who serve in the Cafe Nero we go to , he's not there all the time thank goodness ! He talks all the time in a loud voice and always seems to need to make remarks about everything . He never stops , how the other baristas work with him I don't know ? Because he never stops talking he makes lots of mistakes or doesn't listen to what the customers are saying ! I'm with you the world is getting more noise pollution .

MissAdventure Mon 25-Feb-19 19:44:50

There used to be a man serving in the Costa Coffee at the hospital who was loud, and thought he was funny, and tried to chat my daughter up each time we were there.
We were quite angry about having to put with him just to get a coffee.

AlisonKF Tue 26-Feb-19 00:09:05

On the other hand, people with gentle, low voices are pretty irritating if your hearing is beginning to deteriorate. They give the impression that they are excluding you. Check the apparent ages of the loud ones. If into middle age, reflect that they may be in that transitional stage before they admit they need hearing aids!

Jane10 Tue 26-Feb-19 06:18:42

The ones I was talking about were o ly in their 30s! More personality related than to do with ageing.

Urmstongran Tue 26-Feb-19 09:53:02

Our eldest daughter is loud. She is lovely. Kind and sweet natured. But loud! She plants her feet down like ready money (as my mum used to say!), bangs doors, drops the lid of the loo etc. I’ve tried telling her .... ?

B9exchange Tue 26-Feb-19 09:53:49

Have to admit to getting annoyed in restaurants and coffee shops when someone at the next table (and have to confess nearly always a man!) insists on putting the world to rights at the top of his voice. It is not just the loudness, it is the fact that he never stops talking, his companion can't get a word in edgeways. I long for the days when cafes and restaurants had carpets on the floor, curtains at the windows, and tablecloths, it did absorb so much of the noise!

Kim19 Tue 26-Feb-19 10:06:17

J10 know exactly what you mean but haven't come across it recently in the 30 set, happily. However it has become increasingly my awareness in the older of us and it most certainly linked to hearing problems and individuals denying their problem. I have never understood why people who wear specs quite happily find hearing aids a problem. I regularly hear some aids bring their own snags and frustrations so maybe that's the reason. You are allowed to be curmudgeonly (just quietly!).

Aepgirl Tue 26-Feb-19 10:08:36

I think that it partly caused by people gradually being affected by deafness - it makes them speak louder,

Yorkshiregirl Tue 26-Feb-19 10:15:25

I tend to shout now because my I'm hard of hearing

JanaNana Tue 26-Feb-19 10:15:36

I can understand people who have worked in very noisy environments for years and had to be loud to make themselves heard, and don't realise they are still doing it, or perhaps people with hearing problems but the people who do it for effect and like to draw attention to themselves are a different matter. In one of the charity shops in particular I go into quite often there is one of the volunteers who is a very loud and "jolly hockey sticks"type of person, and almost condescending in her manner, I try and avoid going in if I can see her serving, and feel quite sorry for the other volunteers who have to work beside her. I would have a permanent migraine if I had to be in her company for any length of time!

Shinyredcar Tue 26-Feb-19 10:16:43

I have a problem with DGS. He is very loud, though he can hear a whisper and whisper back. Is it trying to make yourself heard in school with bigger children that does it? His parents and I are always saying, 'I'm right here, no need to shout!' I know it can be annoying for everyone else.

Any Gran tips on reducing the volume?

Urmstongran Tue 26-Feb-19 10:18:23

And parent tips on reducing the volume too!

Sheilagh Tue 26-Feb-19 10:38:09

I find that some cafes and restaurants are very noisy partly due to the.kichen areas being in full view of the customers.
The noise of clattering kitchen utensils is very off putting when all you want is a peaceful meal and a chat.
Kitchens used to be hidden behind green baize doors to keep noise to a minimum.

vintanner Tue 26-Feb-19 10:38:36

I know people who have lived with parents who were heard of hearing (not deaf), they speak very clearly but slightly louder than other people.
I agree with the comments about the ex-teachers, they come across as very firm indeed.
Unfortunately, I find screaming children and sometimes children playing loudly in the wrong place, eg: in a supermarket equally as annoying, especially when their parents are doing nothing about it.

sylviann Tue 26-Feb-19 10:50:14

I also dislike overly loud people especially when it's obvious they want strangers to hear their worlds of wisdom

lizzypopbottle Tue 26-Feb-19 10:50:49

I was a teacher until I retired and I'm probably recognisable as such in some situations. I teach karate now and, when you have to reach everyone in a big space e.g. a huge leisure centre, you have to project your voice and it can become a bit of a habit. Sometimes we come off the floor and ordinary conversational tones are appropriate but I catch myself still speaking loudly. I often say, "Oops! I'm shouting!" and then quieten down. I tell people to let me know if I'm shouting. However, I do notice other people's loud conversations and I don't think I'm an offender in that way. I hope not anyway. Just tell me!