Gransnet forums


RIP Gransnetters?

(35 Posts)
schnackie Sun 12-May-19 10:59:51

Sorry to start a 'downer' discussion, and maybe this has been addressed before - if so please advise me where to look. I am currently a healthy 67 year old, but my daughter and I often speak about death in a low-key, sometimes jokey but often just matter-of-fact way. Recently she said that when I die she would post it on Facebook, as I have lived in several different countries and she does not know all my friends. Then she asked how she would let Gransnetters know! I'm not sure they would want to! But the reason she asked is because she knows how much I treasure this site, and I quote from it very often and I found myself wishing there was a way we would be informed if / when our virtual dear friends die. Any ideas?

crazyH Sun 12-May-19 11:08:25

Schnakie, that's a thought. I am older than you and I have been wondering.........everyone here has become our friend, regardless of being virtual. I think we should tell our next of kin or leave a note inside the pocket of our iPad cover, with passwords etc and ask our children to go on line and inform GNs

Buffybee Sun 12-May-19 11:11:09

Perhaps there should be a Forum for past or passed Gransnetters.
I know there's a Bereavement Forum but that's not exactly the same thing really.

annsixty Sun 12-May-19 11:13:16

Another GNer and I have agreed that a family member will let the other one know, if/when the worst happens.
We have exchanged numbers and e-mail addresses.

trisher Sun 12-May-19 11:14:02

I'm not sure about this, part of me thinks it would be quite nice to leave things open and have a sort of mysterious disappearance. Does anyone know what happened to trisher? Maybe all sorts of rumours would spring up! grin

NanaandGrampy Sun 12-May-19 11:17:09

I’m like Ann , I have exchanged contact details with another GNetter who I know has no family so in the event of an issue I can share with others here who ‘know’ her .

Nonnie Sun 12-May-19 11:30:32

Just give her your log in details and she can go on as you and inform us all.

schnackie Sun 12-May-19 12:46:52

Thanks for ideas. I will give her my details so she can log in but it would be nice, as Buffybee says, if there were a specific place - a virtual graveyard grin.

Gonegirl Sun 12-May-19 13:11:14

Well I hope when I pop my clogs my kids will be too busy being just a little it sad to see me go to bother about GN!

Anyway, I want a thread "Where's Gonegirl?" at least five pages long. And continuing over the course of several weeks.

Gonegirl Sun 12-May-19 13:11:44

Keep 'em guessing I say!

Gonegirl Sun 12-May-19 13:12:33

That's similar to trisher. We do think alike sometimes. grin

lemongrove Sun 12-May-19 13:18:18

Am part of a group of GN friends who have become good friends away from GN and we have regular meet ups, and email and chat to each other, so if I fell off a horse after too many G&T’s or whatever, DH would see emails and let them know.In turn, they could let GN forum know.That’s one way to do it.

Maggiemaybe Sun 12-May-19 14:14:20

she can go on as you and inform us all.
That could lead to a hair-raising moment, Nonnie! grin

boat Sun 12-May-19 14:22:07

I like the idea of a virtual graveyard.

Perhaps we could all plan virtual funerals that other GNers could, "attend". We could choose the most outrageous music for the ceremonies.

My DS and DGDs often joke with me about death. If they annoy me I tell them they are are out of my will.

I think it's important to get used to the idea of death.

Statistically I'm more likely to die first. Obviously they are going to be devastated at losing wonderful me but they will be a bit prepared for it to happen so may not suffer quite so much.

My maternal grandmother died when I was 14. I really was not aware of human death before (except in accidents); had not even known she was ill. I was not allowed to go to her funeral. I had difficulty accepting that she was dead.

My dear DIL cannot contemplate death for those she loves, (it gives her the creeps). I am trying to educate her.

Anyway have always been an iconoclast.

BlueBelle Sun 12-May-19 16:51:05

I agree, I would like Gransnetters some who have become internet friends to know
Got to disagree with Trisher and Gonegirl about the mysterious disappearance I used to go on a local site and for years there was a lovely lady poster who we all valued and like, one day she stopped posting and from that day probably five years ago, no one has a clue who she was or what happened to her
She may have been ill, we could have supported even visited her, she may have died, she may have just moved away, or perhaps someone said something that hurt her but whatever it was we were all left hanging and it wasn’t nice

trisher Sun 12-May-19 19:23:23

Gonegirl in the event of my demise maybe you could post things for both of us! That would confuse things!!! grin

Marydoll Sun 12-May-19 20:11:51

When I was very ill in hospital a few weeks ago, it brought this home to me. To quote my no nonsense rheumatologist: Did you think you were a goner?
I have made some lovely friends on GN, who have been so supportive during my spell of ill health.
My husband has access to my emails, not that he would normally read them, but I would hope that he would alert them to my demise! (Not that I plan to go anytime soon. They don't call me Lazarus for nothing.)
From the other point of view, I would want to know if anything had happened to any of my dear friends.

Gonegirl Sun 12-May-19 20:18:16

Righto trisher. Leave it to me.

Same the other way round. Ok?

Kandinsky Sun 12-May-19 20:31:09

Ridiculous idea sorry.
A virtual graveyard is troll heaven.
Trolls could pop on - claiming to be the grieving daughter - and announce the death of any one of us.

trisher Sun 12-May-19 20:49:54

Agreed Gonegirl!
I've just thought that I'm not sure I'd trust any of my DSs to post things after me. Goodness knows what they might put.

oldgaijin Mon 13-May-19 08:46:57

I've made out a ' to do' list for my daughter for when I pass on and the location of the notebook with passwords etc., so that she can put a notice her on Gransnet. Hopefully, it won't be needed just yet!

harrigran Mon 13-May-19 09:48:19

DH has password for my computer and I have a notebook with lots of information written down, in case it is DS or DD needing to access computer.
I leave GN logged in so that DH does not have to hunt for password, I can not imagine him letting anyone know if I croaked it though. He would probably announce it on FB and that is okay as some of my FB friends are also on GN.

marpau Mon 13-May-19 10:34:12

Age UK have a booklet called life book it is full of useful things to jot down and pass on including who to inform and guests to invite to funeral.

Willow500 Mon 13-May-19 10:45:02

I often think about this. I know that when 911 happened in the US there were thousands of people desperately trying to find out about friends and acquaintances they'd made on social media - I guess many never found out. I should make a list of people my family should tell should the worst happen.

evianers Mon 13-May-19 10:58:09

Same here OP. Have lived in UK [natch], Switzerland, South Africa, Oz, Belgium, France and are now contemplating back to UK. We are not on any social media sites [my OH was an IT manager and shudders at the thought of Big Brother]. Any suggestions please?