News update on Family Group Meeting

Loopy loo the father of her daughter helps tremendously, having her during the week and every Saturday.

I’m so sorry you are under such pressure hildagard, also more than sorry for the children and yes also sorry for your daughter who is unable to cope. No, you shouldn’t be pressurised into offering regular care, no one should. If your own health suffers there’s a risk you won’t be able to help at all. If I’ve understood correctly your daughter has regular support with her daughter and her son is at school. You offer ad hoc support. It does sound as if there is time when she has no children to directly care for but for whatever reason she isn’t coping.

I think iam has summed up the likely situation well. A CAMHS referral can also be made by a GP, or could when I was working. The little lad needs professional help, potentially for a minimal period, to avoid future difficulty. How do you see your grandsons mental health? What do you notice? Is he different when he is with you? It will be understood that sometimes ‘naughty’ behaviour is an indicator of distress rather than a discipline issue.

You must be oh so worried. While doing what you can for your grandchildren please be clear about your limitations to the professionals. It helps no one if you are written into a care plan in an unsustainable way. Keep talking to us if it helps, you need an outlet too,

A friend’s DGS is having counselling sessions arranged through school. They are paying for it privately ( but it is a reasonable cost) as other wise they would have had to wait weeks. It has been very beneficial . Is there any such facility in your area?

Thanks Cornergran and Nandalot we are investigating getting him counselling, he used to be such a happy little boy

I am very cynical about SS, to be fair to them they are over stretched and under funded, but I feel only too often their main aim is to pass all responsibility to any passing relative so they can get that child and that family off their books.

My nephew is autistic and learning-disabled and my sister has recounted to me some of the run ins she has had with Social Services as they have tried to convince themselves his needs are much less than they are, in order to reduce costs and involvement.

I agree about SS trying to make relatives pick up their role. I don't mean to be unkind, there are just no rescources. Two years ago my mother had a fall. We managed to " get a social worker" and some , limited help.
Fast forward 2 years father needs help....there is nothing, absolutely nothing. People don't know this until it hits them.

I'm wondering with your GS Hilda, of course you must be worried....is there anything going well? Does he enjoy sport, would he like Scouts? What is it your daughter wants? Is she depressed?

He does nothing but play on x box and eat, resulting in weight gain. We have decided to ring school and get them to refer him for assessment because as you say SS are over stretched, but, I agree useless

Hilda,a familiar scenario. DM me . I have a friend who went through something similar and came out the other end.

It does seem though that Children’s Services can’t win. How many threads have we had where grandparents feel they have been left out of all discussions involving professionals and then found themselves fighting the system to gain either contact or even care of their grandchildren? The law dictates that where the authorities have concerns about children their first duty is to organise a Family Group Conference (or meeting) to consider all the options and available support. Far from the local authority trying to avoid it’s responsibilities this measure was put in place as a positive attempt to make sure that family members were not overlooked, as they have been in the past. It seems that the social worker in this case has acted in accordance with the law and the spirit of the law, to ensure that everyone with an interest has been given a chance to contribute.

It’s a shame you felt under pressure Hildagard and you should not be expected to do any more than your health or your circumstances permit. However, please be careful that you don’t ‘write yourself out of the story’, so to speak. I’m sure we are all aware that grandparents have no rights in law, and if the situation deteriorates there is a chance that you will not be consulted in the future and decisions will be made without your input or knowledge. It would be very sad if you found yourself losing all contact with your grandchildren through a lack of understanding of the local authority’s plans and responsibilities.

Nightowl Thankyou that is Very interesting