Another chance! (A lighthearted thread)

Wow I want to be you

Oh blimey my famous words .....”perhaps in my next life” does DH’s nut, as I say it often. So many places I would have loved to visit, things I would have loved to do.

In my next life I will work harder at school, get good qualifications, make a career in the caring profession doing something I would enjoy, marry for love the first time around, I will be self sufficient and not have money worries, I WILL NOT RUN A BUSINESS (sorry for shouty caps but I am shouting in my head) I will travel to interesting places and have a big garden.

And then the bubble went POP !

Oh, DannieRae, you’ve just about summed up my life. I think I did all the right things - bought a house before getting married, waited before having babies, worked hard, paid my dues, was faithful to my husband, etc, etc, and then just when everything seemed so happy and settled, DH walked out after 37 years of marriage. Life is so unfair sometimes.

If I came back, I'd hope that my Mum would realise that what I suffered from was "social anxiety." It is only recently that I have realised that it was what I suffered from as a child, young adult, etc. It is only recently that I became aware of what it was and how many people suffer from it but feel they are completely on their own. That revelation has made me realise how much I missed out by not dealing with it.

I'd have liked to have paid more attention to maths at school instead of remaining a numbskull, also to be more confident instead of worrying that others were better than me. All that worry was a waste of time.

Me too icanhandthemback circumstances can hold you back, as they did me.

Certainly would have inherited a lit of money as I am sure even in reincarnation money will enable you to do a lot, lot more exciting things. Have always had to work to meet needs of family. No regrets and have had good times. But if unlimited funds more opportunities to try and do more exciting ventures.

Oh yes I would have an inheritance too 4allweknow

I was aged seven when a favourite aunt taught me a song. It went like this:
"Oh, I wish I were a fascinating bitch and not a legitimate child. I would live in a house with a big red-light, working all night and sleeping all day.
Oh, I wish I were a fascinating bitch and not a legitimate child".
I had no idea of the meaning but sort of knew it was naughty and thought it hilarious. That aunt was actually quite prim and proper, but had a naughty side that she revealed to amuse me. She taught me a couple more that were equally suggestive!

I would have loved to have been more adventurous. Moved about more. Seen more of our beautiful country in real life and not on tv. I would love to be able to swim, a lifetime regret. Back in the late sixties in a very rural village you fid not have the opportunities in life that young people have today. My parents didnt drive but my children were ferried about by the taxi of mum and dad to everything. Different times

I’d like another go at being me. I’m content and have been able to cram nine lives into this one. I’m happy ?

Can we time travel as well as being reincarnated? If so I'd like to be an Edwardian lady explorer and ride out to new places, accompanied of course by a team of porters carrying all the essentials like a big tent, a bed, chairs etc.

The way to do it is is to say yes. When crossroads appear embrace a choice, travel alone if necessary, sometimes you will be scared but in spite of your fear do it. Dress as you wish, not the wimpy old lady beige stuff or scornfully be proud of not owning a dress. Avoid domineering dull men, do not care what others think, stop thinking you are past it, just do it. Reflect on your life, be adventurous even if it is just food choices, choose your own car, had a colleague who as her partner left bought her a Fiesta next time I saw her it was an MX5. Shirley Conran wrote never think that a man will keep you forever so make sure you are able to earn well, get qualifications, plough your own furrow. I was widowed 27 years ago and have walked the walk.

Petra ?

We all love our families and often put their needs first. But we all only get one life.

It’s sad isn’t it to have regrets about the paths not taken, the roads not travelled because of loving constraints?

Often we cannot (or do not) fully follow our dreams and then we look round and wonder where all those years have gone.

I wish when I was 18/20 these large group holidays were a thing. To go away with your friends to a hot,holiday resort, throw off most of your clothes, drink too much ,meet loads of people doing the same thing and do things you wouldn't date back home. I would have enjoyed that

I like that I am sensible, plan everything and have a peaceful calm home life. I do try new things now and again, planned.
My son is the same, well organised, calm. He and DiL have to be with 5 kids.

I love being sensible after growing up in an alcoholic home, with at least 3 parental emotional tantrums a day. I was a child carer and silently vowed not to be like that.

Hellsbelles - that sounds like a fun holiday - can I come as well? (in our next life)

trisher - yes you can time travel - it's your choice so you go anywhere and do anything!

All I wanted was a calm sensible ordered life after having a mother who kicked over enough traces to last anyone a lifetime. I hid round a corner as the swinging sixties and hippy seventies passed by! There are so many more opportunities and freedoms for women now and I would want to have my share of that if I had my time again, knowing what I know now (and how to put it into practice ?!).

Regrets - I have a few but I've done, caving rafting, abseiling, rifle shooting, brought my daughter up alone, gone on holiday alone, went to Uni aged 48, then took another course directly afterwards.
As a grandmother I join my GC on swings, slides, round abouts, go swimming and build sandcastles, sneak them cholate and treats, (My D said 'no milkshakes' for my eldest GS, then caught us in the restaurant, yes, drinkinking milkshakes! Oops!)
This summer I'm taking them on an adventure that involves aerial walkways, slides etc.
Reckless, no. Brave, yes. Crazy, definitely.

Get my face wet - no way
Go in a butterfly house - I'll run a mile.

DanniRae
when I return I will take many lovers, spend all my money on anything that takes my fancy, stay up all night and be thoroughly naughty!!

Thanks for the thought-provoking idea.... But ....

I just don't think it makes you happy! Definitely not in the long-term.

I guess, judging from previous times, people will say bad things here about me, but honestly, I prefer the quiet life!

If I came back I would like to try and "make a difference" in the sense of help some people who aren't able to help themselves. It certainly doesn't have to be glamorous, and make me famous, but I'd just like to be useful and remove some of the misery that people suffer - mainly through poverty or because of depression and suchlike.

Actually, I suppose I can look back and say I'm glad I did quite a lot of the things I did. I love learning and am glad I studied for another degree when I was 40. I love music and am glad I took up a new instrument when I was 35. But I am basically glad I did spend time working with people who were suffering with mental disorders or children who could not live with their parents. It really was more rewarding to be doing things for others than to be galavanting about spending money on ephemeral This isn't feeling smug or "holier than thou", Heaven Knows! I wish I had done so much more! There are people doing such wonderful and selfless work in dangerous war-torn places to help people in dire situations! If I came back I would wish to be as good as them.

I just do know that the happiest times for me were times of peace and tranquility and times of being really involved with helping someone. So the latter is actually selfish, not "goody-goody"!

. . I'd come back as Bradfordlass too!! . . No envy of others' perceived more exciting lives . . but yes always done the "right" thing too!!

DannieRae, that's two reckless tarts returning - you and me.

Jayelld. What a wonderful Grandparent you are!! Have a truly great time!

Hellsbelles
My daughter, after 18, went twice with her friends. The second time so that she would not be bullied for being "a bore" and staying at home.

She said it was the most boring and unpleasant time you could imagine. They were drinking to excess every night, my daughter excluded, having sex with people they barely knew, returning at dawn to collapse anywhere. My daughter would go round and put them in the recovery position and check them every so often to make sure they did not choke on their vomit.

They would come-to after midday and start arguing. They did not go out or have a proper meal. At some point my daughter would bring back food for them which she would have to clear away. Then they would begin to don the make-up and scanty clothes for the next night on the town. It would all start again....

After the "holiday" they could not remember it. The alcohol had done its bit. My daughter's photos told the story.