When did you last say something meaning something else ?

LOL this is really funny. Unless of course, he is not as averse in digital communications as he says.

PS: It is a breach of contract if your broadband speed is not as they said when you took the contract or as implied in their advertising. You should insist on money back or even a new lower monthly rate. These companies do not have a problem if you demand some recompense. They WILL give you money if you stand your ground and sound as if you know the law. Of course BlueBell, I am only mentioning this I am not claiming you dont know or that you want to do what I said. Good luck.

A while back I teased my lovely DH for forgetting an essential item of shopping.
I called him a silly twat.
Grandchildren heard and went running to parents yelling 'Grandma swears and says rude words!'
Back in the day t...t was a loving word for clumsy/daft/idiotic.
Now, I believe, it has an entirely different meaning.

It’s actually fine downstairs and has been fine upstairs until the last few weeks but got slower and slower recently so that’s what I want them to check it out for but yes if they don’t get it sorted I will be having a further chats with them

Oh grannysue ummm not quite so innocent now

Ihad some clematis planted and my dsd came to visit. I told her I had just planted two clitoris. !!!

Umm, the t**t word has always been 'swearing' as far as I know.

Virtually the same type of conversation as you BlueBell.
Except I said I would give him a banana! ?
It was lunch time and the call had gone on for time.

I have on occasion said that someone has been a bit of 'Tuesday Wednesday And Thursday'.

But mainly just say Twerp

Surely it was twit?

Many years ago I had taken a box of bric a brac to ds1 school for the fete white elephant stall.

Dh noticed that I had included a rather hideous decorative plate that MIL had given us, and asked me to get it back.I

Next morning I called in to the school office and asked the secretary to look out for it.

It was only when I got back in the car that I realised I had told her that it depicted "Scrooge being visited by the ghost of Bob Marley"

Oh these are good ???

Not me but someone I know. He was on holiday with family during an extremely hot spell.
They all met downstairs in the hotel to go for dinner, wife, son and his wife, daughter and her husband, and granddaughter. He was sitting in a chair, wiped out with the heat and said..... "Is anyone feeling this heat as much as me, my foreskin (forehead) is sweating."
Everyone fell about laughing. He was so embarrassed. He is a man who doesn't swear and would be mortified if he ever offended anyone.

It was his wife who told us one evening we were all out for dinner and needless to say, hilarity ruled.
It may be that you would need to know him to understand just how funny this must have been

A good few years ago I was talking with friends about my decorating skills and decided to take the dildo rails off the walls. Dado rails was obviously what I meant. As I was in the pub a few heads turned and my friend politely told me what I had said. I was a bit surprised as to why I would say such a thing as I had never owned one!

My aunt was married to a very controlling man for most of her life, and when he died she started to 'live a little, by painting the rooms bright colours, getting rid of the pigeons, and so on.

She had always wanted a short, sassy haircut, but her husband preferred it long, so she had booked a hairdressers appointment.
On the bus there she was practising what she needed to say "A cut and blow dry"...

When she got there and they asked what she wanted, she blurted out "A wash and blow job please!"

Johno
The guy BlueBelle spoke to was probably as well if not better versed in digital comms as you and I, however, at peak times any broadband can 'go slow' and it also depends on how far you are from the 'box'.
Most people know that compensation can be paid but it's not really cricket to complain if it's a one off.
You can always reset your router which often allows it to reconnect with the signal.
I do that with my phone.

getting rid of the pigeons, and so on

Well, they never went anywhere for years because of his homing pigeons, and she was never that keen, really.

A long time ago but on my biology mock o,'level paper I wrote that 'an arena is a microscopic orgasm'. My biology teacher had written "you may have discovered something here". At 15 I was in agonies of embarrassment imagining the laughs in the staff room. ?

Mr P, at the garden centre a couple of years ago asked a female assistant "Do you have trailing labia?" I'm sorry to say I walked away, biting my lip to prevent giggles!

My friend's boyfriend, eager to impress her dad was giving him the benefit of his gardening knowledge.
Her dad, starting to warm to him a bit, asked the name of one of his plants, and was told it was a syphilis.

A teaching colleague, when flustered, would resort to clichés and often muddle two together.

Once, when dealing with a cheeky and disruptive student who was challenging her decision to make him re-write some coursework, she replied,

'You can argue all you like but it's my decision and I'm not going to beat myself around the bush about it!'

Oh that gave me a laugh
Love your husbands gaffe pheonix

I remember a senior teaching colleague, who announced in assembly: "We will now sing 'Lord of All Hopelessness'...."