ever feel you have wasted a day

Some of the messages here have bought tears to my eyes so touching and full of warmth. I am gonna try to stop being such a worry guts and take each day as it comes.

Who was it who wrote "what is this world if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare" Probably misquoted, but I have just written on Wednesday's good morning, that I am just going to sit, which I was doing until I took a peep at Gransnet. Although I said I was doing nothing, I was watching the sparrows enjoying I think an ants' nest, until the blackbird came to disturb them, swiftly followed by the horrible (but beautiful when they soar in the night time sky) seagulls, So doing nothing watching life go by is not so much a waste of time, more an opportunity to enjoy what is free and entertaining. I appreciate I m lucky to have a garden to sit in.

W H Davies. He also wrote a dreadful book called 'The Autobiography of a Super-tramp about being down and out in the USA. It was the set book for O level and put me off the author for life.

Oh gillybob your post was so poignant. The ‘where is me in all this?’ I’m sure your family adore you and you love them all to bits. You have so many (too many from a personal level?) calls on your time - which as we all know ‘waits for no man’.

You are aware the clock is ticking yet, cannot see a way to free yourself which makes you sad.

Are the younger members of your family aware how low this is making you feel?

If we have little to no control over our lives we feel trapped and upset. I don’t know the answer here but I certainly get your sadness deep down. You strike me as a ‘can do’ person. What’s that saying about if you want something done give it to a busy woman! You are that woman and I think you probably do it all with a sunny smile whilst crying inside.

I work part-time and really value my 2 days a week not working. However, I sometimes get to bed on those nights trying to think what I have done during the day, and frequently it is nothing! What a waste.

For me it's simply call blissful retirement. Do what you want when you want and enjoy irrespective. I certainly do and don't consider one single minute as wasted. Bliss.

Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without thought, but carefully: a premeditated murder of minutes. The violence comes from a combination of giving up, not caring, and a resignation that getting past it is all you can hope to accomplish. So you kill the hour. You do not work, you do not read, you do not daydream. If you sleep it is not because you need to sleep. And when at last it is over, there is no evidence: no weapon, no blood, and no body. The only clue might be the shadows beneath your eyes or a terribly thin line near the corner of your mouth indicating something has been suffered, that in the privacy of your life you have lost something and the loss is too empty to share.
Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

I would have thought like that once! I have learnt over the years that we are human beings NOT human doing.

We are allowed to rest! It's not a waste of a day. We dont always have to be doing!

That's what the madness of the western world tells us.

In other words it's the agenda others set we think we need to get approval by doing just that.

me too

I think it’s harder when you’re still working, I feel annoyed with myself if I waste one of my precious days, and by waste, I mean achieving nothing, but not enjoying achieving nothing

Now that I am retired I say “I do what I want when I want!” If that means nothing then so be it. I do feel guilty though.

Today has been wasted. 10 year old is here, no chat out of him. I didn't feel well but offered to take him out, didn't want to go.It has rained all morning so I'm letting him play on computer as I have given up! Don't know what mum will say.

I suppose by sitting here reading these posts on Gransnet I could be considered to be wasting time. I don't see it like that at all, it gives me contact with others, enabling me to see different views and it's relaxing.

I do what needs to be done in my life and that's fine by me. I see no point in getting onto the hamster wheel if you don't need to.

Hopefully ‘thank you mum’ kircubbin as you’ve tried your best.
❤️

Glammy57
After reading your post I was going to write that you should write a book...until I saw the last line.
Still, a very insightful post. I've murdered more than a few minutes and regret nothing

This afternoon I felt I should a) wash the floors b) bake a cake and c) tackle the ironing. I have been out this morning, it is very warm and so I sat and read the local paper after lunch, and made a batch of biscuits. I am now on-line, but instead of feeling tired out from all these activities, I realise they will still be waiting tomorrow, when hopefully it may be a little cooler. Sometimes you just have to give yourself quality time to please yourself!

Totally wasted today as I have spent every minute since 9 am trying to connect my PC to the internet. IPad is connected but no luck with the PC. BT can't help any further. What a waste of time and total frustration ?

"Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits". I am very very good at doing nothing and not feeling at all guilty about it.

Good point keffie

I think (maybe in the past) many women needed everyone to know how busy they'd been. It was as though looking after the house, the children, cooking, cleaning etc, was measured and they didn't want to be seen lacking.

I expect many of us worked with the person who was up at 5.30am putting a casserole on for dinner, then they'd do a bit of ironing, run the hoover round and clean the bathroom thoroughly after they'd showered, all before they'd set off for work. Everyone in the workplace got to know how busy/efficient she was.

I always used to think "Why?" Isn't going out to work for the day enough? Do some people over-organise, only to have to keep the regime going? To each their own, I suppose.

I still know women who delight in regaling me with how 'good' they have been in ticking off all the jobs they had to do. Thing is, the list never grows shorter. Gluttons for punishment, in need of recognition, maybe?

We get one life, and we are not hamsters on a wheel. I still delight in small achievements (and the odd big one) but there are days when showering and cooking an evening meal for us is all I intend to do. I believe in loads of 'me time' now I have retired. No guilt either.

GabriellaG - wish I had written it, hauntingly beautiful.
I consider no day, of my life, wasted but live in the moment!

When we spend the winter in SE Asia we follow their way of life. Its hot, so up early morning do a bit, eat, then rest or sleep in the afternoon when it is hottest. Still manage to be in bed by 10 and get a good nights sleep. Its a way of life and not considered wasteful. Solets do it this way during a hot summer.

Crumbs, I can often quite happily waste a day, pottering about, getting stuck into a good book, browsing various forums, basically doing bugger all except maybe putting some washing on and cooking the dinner. And maybe a walk with dh.

We often have some very busy times with childcare, visitors, etc. so I don't feel the least bit guilty for slobbing when there's a quiet period in the diary.

I sometimes feel like this, then remind myself that it is a privilege to be able to spend a day doing absolutely nothing in particular.

Before retiring, I spent all of my years going to school, raising kids, working, etc. Now every day I get to choose what I want to do and it feels great! Some days I don't feel like doing much at all and if I start to feel guilty I remind myself that I can do whatever I want to do as long as it's a conscious choice and for some reason this works for me.

Also, I started noticing that the "down" days seemed to come after several days of activity - seeing people, working on projects, doing a lot of errands or whatever. I always seem to need at least a day or two to recover my energy.

I prefer to consider these as quiet days or days to think and read, to contemplate the world around me or potter around in the garden rather than wasted days. Wizzing around doing stuff, important or totally trivial is not always good and can just be "busyness" for the sake of seeming busy. It's all about balance. Enjoy your "wasted" days, having the time to potter and mooch about is a great gift.