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Incompatible friends

(35 Posts)
watermeadow Thu 18-Jul-19 16:30:27

An old friend wants to come and visit. We meet rarely as far apart but also because our lifestyles are poles apart.
Friend lives in a big city and has a busy political and social life. I live in a small country town where nothing ever happens.
The worst thing is that she never goes to bed before 1am, hours after my bedtime and I wake up at 5ish.
So should I stay up with her, and feel like a zombie all day, or expect her to stick to my times? Last time I stayed with her we didn’t get to bed until 3.

ReadyMeals Fri 19-Jul-19 11:00:55

Both go to bed and get up at your usual times (make sure she has something to occupy her while you are in bed, and tell her where the things are in case she needs a late night snack) then get together in the middle, when you're both awake.

Rosina Fri 19-Jul-19 11:01:22

I would be completely flattened by a 3 am bedtime - why not just say that you need to go to bed early and do it? I'm sure if your friend is a friend she wouldn't think twice about it - if she turns nasty then she isn't a friend; she can read, watch TV, amuse herself without the need for you to be there with her, so I wouldn't worry about it. We had guests once who were still talking at past two; I was almost unconscious and my contact lenses were stinging, so I went to bed, leaving OH to talk to them. he can manage on little sleep - I can't.

Megs36 Fri 19-Jul-19 11:19:48

How long will she be staying, I could cope for a couple of nights but

Tigertooth Fri 19-Jul-19 11:30:54

Can’t see how it’s a problem - you go to bed when you want to and tell her to make herself at home.

maryhoffman37 Fri 19-Jul-19 12:13:03

Let her keep her hours and you keep yours. As long as neither of you disturbs the other.

moggie57 Fri 19-Jul-19 12:42:32

tell her .!! that you go to bed at a certain time.if she wants to stay up thats her decision.get ear plugs and eye cover and go to sleep. dont do as she does ,be yourself...

Daisymae Fri 19-Jul-19 17:20:30

Just say that you need your beauty sleep and go to bed, thanking her for a lovely day! Better than losing a friendship.

justwokeup Sat 20-Jul-19 01:52:52

You could prepare her by advising her to bring a good book!

SusiQ8 Mon 22-Jul-19 08:23:25

Goodness Sara65, I’m with you there. 8.:30 to 9pm and I’m gone, mainly due to medication. I think meeting in the middle would be an excellent idea to keep you both happier. Maybe stay up to 11pm or slightly later if you can, she will have gone home before you know it.