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Does anyone else still feel a bit lost without their Mum?

(138 Posts)
Kandinsky Sat 20-Jul-19 20:22:51

I’m 56 & my Mum passed away 5 years ago, yet I still feel a bit ‘lost’ & uncertain about everything.
My Mum lived to a good age & I know ‘that’s life’ but I just never imagined life without her.

Does anyone else feel the same?

TyneAngel Sun 21-Jul-19 10:59:39

It warms my heart and makes me happy to read of so many happy, loving childhoods, but please just try and be thankful that you had them. I am sure there are others like me who, even at 78, whose first waking thought is 'Phew, you're not a child any more. Get up, you're on a roll. Your mother can't hurt you or your father stand weakly by and let it happen,' Hugs to you, Kandinsky, and everyone else still grieving.

Grannyboots1 Sun 21-Jul-19 11:00:38

My mum died at 59, I was 34 with two small children, within 6 months mil died too. My mum had had a really hard childhood and she struggled to show her love for my sister, brother and I and I. This made me determined to bring my children up with plenty of cuddles. My sister and I talk about her all the time and my children grew up with many tales of ‘nanny’.

Nanny123 Sun 21-Jul-19 11:01:06

I miss my mum she passed about 16 years ago, she was not only my mum but my friend too but I miss my dad dreadfully and think of him every single day. We we were so close and did everything together. He was the gentlest, kindest man who always seen the good in everyone. He certainly was very special.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 21-Jul-19 11:14:14

Yes I miss my mum every day we were like sisters more than mother n daughter I will miss her forever. But I know she’s at peace free from her pains and I take comfort in that. I like to think both my mum and dad are together

BusterTank Sun 21-Jul-19 11:16:41

My mum died when I was 21 , I am now 50 . I have never really got over me . When she died part of me died too .

Kandinsky Sun 21-Jul-19 11:19:19

TyneAngel

So sorry to hear about your childhood.
flowers
Yes, I am so very grateful I had loving parents, as I know this is not the case for many of us.

SirChenjin Sun 21-Jul-19 11:35:07

My mum died seven years ago when I was 43 and she was 71 - far too young. I miss her every day and still feel her loss. My dad is still alive but he always has been an unusual character and I haven’t seen him for a number of years although he deigns to speak to me by phone about mundane things every couple of weeks. I don’t have a source of advice or wisdom, or a parent to chat with, or a grandparent who is interested in my children and their lives. It’s very sad - heartbreaking at times actually.

Kellie40 Sun 21-Jul-19 11:36:08

It’s 5 years for me too, I absolutely miss my mother every day and still go to pick up the phone to ring her, or thing of buying something she would like before I realise I can’t. I can’t ever imagine getting over losing her. It’s heart breaking x

Joyfulnanna Sun 21-Jul-19 11:41:57

Hugs for all those who have lost their mums and are still grieving.

Boolya Sun 21-Jul-19 11:44:24

My mum died back in 1966 when I was 16. My dad had died a couple of years earlier. I was stoical at the time but I do miss her (and him) even now. As an only child it saddens me that they weren't around for the high points in my life. Only my cousins remember them now and they can fill me in on some of the gaps.

jaylucy Sun 21-Jul-19 11:52:22

My mum passed away in 2009 unexpectedly. I got home from work to see her being put into an ambulance after she had collapsed in the garden from a massive stroke and never regained consciousness.
I had my dad to deal with after her death - he was devastated and it all came back to me last year when one of my closest friends passed away.
I miss especially this time of the year. Warm evenings, we used to have dinner and then take a cup of tea and sit out in the garden and she'd fill me in with what was happening locally and with the rest of the family. We used to sit out so long that dad used to come and see if we were still there!

Joyfulnanna Sun 21-Jul-19 11:54:07

Awww jaylucy

Disneyfan Sun 21-Jul-19 11:54:51

My mum passed 3yrs on Monday. Still miss her so much but we keep her memory alive. I converse with her in my mind and heart everyday so it feels shes still close to us all . Mother in law passed 10 weeks ago and it's the same with Her. Yes there are times when the tears flow and when I think "oh I must tell mum". But I still do. I hope you find comfort from all the post. Big hugs. X

quizqueen Sun 21-Jul-19 11:57:42

I feel sad that both my parents worked very hard in factories and earned very little, they never lived anywhere nice in council property and died very soon into their retirement, both suffering long lingering deaths. They were good people and deserved so much better.

annep1 Sun 21-Jul-19 12:07:49

I feel such sadness for those who have lovely memories and miss their parents so much. I once read on a death notice " To have, to love, and then to part, is the greatest trial of the human heart" and for many this is true.
I feel so sad too for those who didn't have the good childhood that we all should have, feeling loved and secure. Every child deserves this.
Sending hugs to everyone.

Nannyxthree Sun 21-Jul-19 12:09:57

Yes I do too. 15 years for me. Mothering Sunday is the hardest day to cope with. More so than her birthday or anniversary of her death.

beautybumble Sun 21-Jul-19 12:15:17

Yes I miss mum so much it actually hurts. Its been 5 years now but I still wish every day that I could be with her again. Also dad who died in 1994. I love them both.

Rosina Sun 21-Jul-19 12:17:27

My Mum died when I was 34 - half a lifetime ago almost. We spoke every evening, and she had a dry wit; I occasionally think that I'll ring her and tell her something that would make her laugh - and then realise in that split second that I can't. Our relationship was far from perfect but I do miss her, still.

gilld69 Sun 21-Jul-19 12:18:49

My mum died 7 years ago she was 67 id lost my dad 6 months before at age 66 im 50 now not a single day goes by thst i dont want to ring her up to speak to her or see her theres very few days that i havemt shed at least one tear . I imagined it would be hard before she passed but never knew id miss her this much just goes to show how lived they were i suppose x

Magi Sun 21-Jul-19 12:19:10

Nobody loves you like your mam!

Emelle Sun 21-Jul-19 12:34:35

I am sad for those of you who miss your Mums and I'm also quite envious Like a few others I have no feelings for my mother and only feel relief at her passing at 99, three years ago. She never cared for me, I can never remember sitting on her knee or having a cuddle and she never told me she loved me. It's been a long road to recover from that.

Joyfulnanna Sun 21-Jul-19 12:36:52

Oh Emelle that is so sad

TwinLolly Sun 21-Jul-19 12:40:24

Mum passed away in April 2016 and I still miss her. It sounds selfish but it isn't - that her death was a blessing. She had suffered debilitating and painful rheumatoid arthritis for nearly 40 years.

Dad passed away a just over a year before her so it was a double whammy.✝

I have a good cry every now and then but then I try and think of the good times we had; and that they are in a better place.?

I send big hug to all of you who have lost loved ones. You are not alone. flowers

moggie Sun 21-Jul-19 12:52:37

I still miss my mum she passed away 33 years ago. I was 9 months pregnant with my first baby, I was heartbroken. She was the best.

grandtanteJE65 Sun 21-Jul-19 12:53:43

Five years is a very short space of time in consideration of the fact that you knew and loved your mum all your life.

I still miss my parents, but not as badly as at first, so it does get better.