Does anyone else still feel a bit lost without their Mum?

Not at all, I mostly took care of myself. There was nothing she did for me that I could not do myself more efficiently. I do not have any real happy childhood memories but my sisters apparently had an idyllic childhood, one six years older and the other ten years younger, guess I was the pig in the middle.

I suppose I did generalise Harrigran. Not everyone feels the same. And don't get me wrong - my childhood wasn't the best. My dad kept us very short of money. We were extremely poor. I just loved my mum.

My mother did at 97, having had Alzheimer's for at least 15 years, so I 'lost' her long before she actually died. She hadn't known me for several years.
I certainly don't miss seeing the pitiful wreck she'd turned into, especially knowing how she herself would have hated it, had she been aware, and the former person is so much in the past now, I got used to the loss long ago.

You're loved on here harrigran
That's not the same, I know, but we care how you feel.
I'm sorry that it wasn't the best of times for you.

Died - almost exactly 4 years ago now.

My lovely mum lives on in me. Never will forget everything she did for me, unselfish and beautiful inside and out.

My mother died 33 years ago when my first child was 3 weeks old, I think of her every day with love and gratefulness for giving me a lovely childhood, as I do my father who died a few years later. I feel sad that she had no time with her grandchild, but she did see him and she died peacefully in her sleep. I feel sorry for myself that I had no one to turn to for help and advice with my first child though, my mother in law wasn't interested, but we muddled through and she would have been so proud of him if she could see him today. I do hope that she can in some way.

I'm 60, and my mum died in 1995, aged 72, when I was 36. I don't feel lost, but I miss her so much and still cry when I think about that.

I'm with Septimia here but mum died in 1986, dad years before.
It's just picking up the phone and giving running commentaries about the family and having a good laugh as we did are things that I still miss after all this time. I know mum would have really enjoyed hearing all the news and sharing her excitement and interest. Mum was never the same after dad died as her health went downhill and she died at 67------after years of comfort eating !

Both were good parents and brother and myself had an idyllic childhood in the '40's with by far less than children have now, but evidently happier.

srn63 I could have written your post, except my mum died 3 weeks before her first grandchild was born. I felt lost with no one to turn to for advice and I felt sad that she didn't see her grandchild or know the gender ..... I used to say just one phone call would suffice to tell her all about the new baby. My MiL in no way filled the gap, in fact we couldn't believe how uncaring she was showing so little interest in HER grandchild. I hate to say it but for years I wished she had died first as she is still alive now 35 years on. My mum would have done more for us in 35 days than MiL in all that time. So yes, I still feel a bit lost.

My mum died 7 years ago last month aged 92 but she had been lost to me for a good 3 years before that with dementia when she had to go into care. Dad had died 2 years previously with the same but I'd cared for him at home for most of the last 2 years of his life. They would have been married 71 years last week and as I posted some photos for family on FB I commented how they were always together (for 63 years) and always laughing.

I miss her ringing me up every morning for no particular reason, seeing the pair of them walking round to our house (they only lived round the corner) for a cup of tea and taking her shopping every week. In the earlier days we would go to the larger town just for a browse and lunch out but that changed to just going to do the weekly supermarket shop which eventually we both took the pair of them in their wheelchairs.

Never had a good or close relationship with my mother, so no, I don't miss her. In fact it was a great relief when she died as I didn't have to feel obliged and guilty any more. Wish it could have been different. I got on much better with my DMIL, who was lovely.

I miss my mum although she is still alive, she is in a home with dementia and doesn't know me. I think you always want your mum when you are ill!

My Mum was the first 'big' death in my life. I don't miss her as much as I should perhaps. I think happily of my childhood and teenage years with her and of the doting Granny she became to my children. She died 22 years ago. I miss my Dad more; he survived her by 4 years. The person I miss is my husband who died far too young, 7 years ago. I don't think you ever become accustomed to widowhood..

I truly envy those of you who miss your Mums - I know it is painful for you, but at least you had many years of a good relationship to look back on.

My poor Mum was a struggle for all of us; and really I do not miss her. I felt I was walking on eggshells throughout my whole childhood, trying not to to say something that would spark a row between her and my Dad. And the same continued throughout my adulthood.

She meant well, but - looking back I can see this - she suffered badly with PMT and as a child it was like living with Jekyll and Hyde - she could be pleasant one minute then a demon the next. She had a massive chip on her shoulder about women being downtrodden and this coloured everything she said and did, most notable her relationship with Dad, whom she put down at every available opportunity.

I feel sad for her, as she missed so much joy; but I do not miss her. I grieved for her before she died as she was quite mad by then and I could see the writing was on the wall and it was distressing to see; but her actual passing left me with a feeling of immense relief.

Please enjoy your lovely memories.

Sadly my mum has dementia and is in a care home. It has been a steady decline over years. She knows me when I visit, but our conversations/interactions are very limited now. She can't remember either of her husbands, or most of her family. Like Witzend, I feel that I "lost" my mum years ago. I'm approaching 70 but I still miss the person that my mum used to be, years ago.

I can hardly remember my mum. She died 47 years ago. I can't honestly say I miss her but I feel sad for the awful life she had, married to my horrible father. She always wanted a nice garden which she never had. I sometimes think she would love to come and enjoy our garden.

My mum is 100 and her 101 birthday is at the end of the month. She has heart failure and is not expected to live much longer. The stress to both my sister and I is exhausting. She lives at home and has careers coming in 3 times s day, but we have to fill in between times. We take care of her personal care like washing and preparing her meals etc. We promised that she will never go into care, and are pleased that we are managing but it is hard. Sister does mornings and I do afternoons. I have a permanent sore throat and my sister sleeps for hours. But we know it is only for a limited time, she has been my mum for 73 years, not an easy person but always gave support when needed. It’s what families do isn’t it?

My mum died Dec2015, she had dementia. After she died I just wanted to 'block' how she was then & remember her as she was before her illness. I have her photo on my bedside table & talk to her everyday. My parents both died within months of each other & I'd never experienced grief till then.
It took roughly three plus years to begin to even smile again, you will feel happy again, that's what they'd wish for, but you'll miss them forever ?

I find it very difficult to express what I feel about my Mum. I don't miss her and felt relief when she died and for that guilt creeps in. In many ways she was a good mother but was a worrier with mercurial temperament. Moods all over the place when we were children and she did slap out. She called them fourpenny ones. In her later life I was her comfort blanket and she monitored my movements and got distressed if I wasn't where she though I should be. Two of the best things I remember about her are her sense if humour and sociability. She flourished in social situations and loved being the centre of attention and could be great fun then.
I do miss my Dad. He was a quiet, gentle character who was a loving parent.
I hope my daughters can remember me in the ways so many of you lovingly recall their mothers. I love my girls dearly.



I do miss my Dad

I really miss both of my wonderful parents. Their passing has left a huge hole in my life. Pa died, aged 87 and I remember someone saying to me "Oh well, he was a good age"! I understand what was meant but his age meant nothing at the time he was my Beloved Pa. I was so cross. I talk to them every day in my head. Both so missed.

I only feel now that I am coming to terms with my Mum’s death. She died in May 2012, she was 72 and I was 44. I struggled massively for a long time. Were it not for my lovely husband I don’t think I would have coped. I miss talking to her so much. We are a really close family and all pulled together. My lovely Dad is getting a little frail now and I always hold on to the fact that we owe so much to both of them. I have always taken comfort from something the Queen said, oddly enough, she said “grief is the price we pay for love”. It is so true, it hurts so much because we love them so much. I hope you find it easier in time

My beautiful mum died twenty six years ago. I adored her and she really was my best friend. There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think of her and wish she was still here. I just remember all the wonderful times we had together. ❤️

I miss my mum. She died six years ago. I am a mum who wont be missed. My children have vietually wiped me from their lives so there will be no one to miss when i go

Remember Kadinsky your Mum is just a thought away.
Love X