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I hate it, I hate it, I bloody hate it!

(107 Posts)
phoenix Sun 04-Aug-19 21:45:03

It is the spawn of the devil, devised by the most evil of goblins, just put on this earth to tease and torment!

Oh yes, it promises so much, " I will make your life easier" it says, "I will help you to avoid waste and keep things fresh" it says, "just put/wrap a bit of me over the plate/bowl/food item, and all will be well!" is says.

What it doesn't bloody say is "I will look quite innocent within my box, wrapped around my tube, until you actually want to use me. The first time you breach my cardboard chamber, I will be meek and docile, obedient to your demands. But beware, once you consign me again to the tomb of the kitchen drawer, I will be avenged!"

And it damn well is! Can you find its end? And if you do, does it actually come off the roll properly?

No of course it sodding doesnt, it's decided to do it's equivalent of the Dance of the Umpteen Veils, coming off bit by useless bit. You may decide to try (with environmental issues in mind) a sort of patchwork effort, using the damn small fiddly bits that came off when you were trying to get the amount you needed to cover the left over chopped onions/peppers/whatever, but don't bother, because by the time you have managed that, the items you were attempting to cover will either have shrivelled or flies will have landed on them!

BLOODY CLING FILM

And yes, I know that Lakeland and other retailers have absolutely wonderful dispensers, but right now, right this damn minute, there is only me and this particularly recalcitrant roll of the damn stuff, and I'm pretty pi**ed off!

Scribbles Sun 04-Aug-19 21:57:47

Agree with every well constructed word, Phoenix!

I took the decision to stop using it a few years ago to stop myself going completely and utterly CRAZY. That was after one of those "brilliant" dispensers ripped a gash in my hand that bled for bliddy ages.

It's worth keeping a few Tupperware or similar containers around to store the unused bits & pieces in, just to save your sanity.

SueDonim Sun 04-Aug-19 22:04:31

What do people use all this cling film for? One pack last me for years and years! grin

Chewbacca Sun 04-Aug-19 22:06:52

Just half an hour ago I tried to take a piece of cling film to wrap half a melon in. Couldn't find the end/beginning and went round and round, rubbing what looked like could be the bit I needed. Eventually found it and started to unwrap it but it tore at right angles and I've now got a half inch strip that's neither use to man nor beast!

I gave up and ate the melon and threw the roll of the damned stuff in the bin. It should be banned!

maddyone Sun 04-Aug-19 22:09:20

Well today Sue, I prepared all the salads and side dishes, plus fresh fruit for pudding, before the family arrived for our barbecue. I covered it all with cling film to keep it fresh and hygienic. I often use it in this way when I’m catering for family/friends.

I agree Phoenix, the stuff’s got a mind of it’s own!

phoenix Sun 04-Aug-19 22:16:59

Thank you all, especially Scribbles for you comment 're "well constructed" blush I thought it was a bit of a random rant!

I do tend to get into a bit of a flow when riled!

Minniemoo Sun 04-Aug-19 22:17:25

Fabulous post, phoenix, very well written. Made my night. I am sat here giggling away and my husband keeps asking me what I'm laughing at.

We have a roll of the stuff in a cupboard. No idea of its age. It is impossible to locate an 'end'. It will probably still be in there when the children come to clear out when we stumble off this mortal coil

Anniebach Sun 04-Aug-19 22:20:08

My sympathy Phoenix , in my opinion it should be made illegal

Jane10 Sun 04-Aug-19 22:22:34

There must be something wrong with me but I don't have any trouble with cling film. Just no problem. Must be a magic kitchen drawer I keep it in.

callgirl1 Sun 04-Aug-19 22:24:33

I`m in complete agreement Phoenix. When it first came out, many eons ago, it was called Stretch and Seal, but will it stretch? Not over my bloody plates it won`t. I might think I`ve succeeded till I take the item out of the fridge or freezer at a later date, and find it`s sort of shrunk back on itself, GRRRRR!!!! I`ve given up and use foil nowadays.

phoenix Sun 04-Aug-19 22:26:35

Jane10 I have only one thing to say envy or perhaps you have tamed the goblins!

Shoequeen53 Sun 04-Aug-19 22:27:43

I wish I had a magic drawer.

MissAdventure Sun 04-Aug-19 22:33:29

I wouldn't mind two.
Then it would be a pair of magic drawers.

Grammaretto Sun 04-Aug-19 22:37:30

I read that it was carcinogenic long before it was deemed an evil plastic adding to the earth's problems.
I manage without. I plonk a plate over the leftovers and put them in the fridge.

MissAdventure Sun 04-Aug-19 22:41:51

I think I've had the same roll of cling film since about 1987.
Every now and then I try to actually get a decent sized piece off, but can never manage more than a tiny triangle.

MiniMoon Sun 04-Aug-19 22:43:29

I hate cling film with a passion! So much so that I have invested in some beeswax wraps. Three different sizes. Marvellous things. Small one is currently wrapping a piece of cheese. I have a medium and large size also. The large one is big enough to wrap an uncut loaf of bread.

I bought them at the Great Yorkshire Show a couple of weeks ago. You just wash or wipe them with warm soapy water, rinse and leave to dry. You can't use them in the microwave of course, but I've got a splatter thingy for that purpose.

TwiceAsNice Sun 04-Aug-19 22:46:36

Isis foil or lock and lock containers. Can’t stand the stuff it is the work of the devil!

TwiceAsNice Sun 04-Aug-19 22:47:09

I use not isis damn text

Nana3 Sun 04-Aug-19 23:01:14

I'm trying to give up plastic. I do the same as you grammaretto and put a plate over leftovers.

Bathsheba Sun 04-Aug-19 23:13:38

I bought a set of silicone covers like these.

Of course these days you can get the stretchy silicone covers, considerably cheaper, though I'm not sure how long they'd last. The ones I've got are brilliant, wouldn't be without them. So much better than wrestling with cling film - which is then just thrown in the bin to add to the world's ever-growing plastic problem 😒

Katek Sun 04-Aug-19 23:30:35

Try beeswax wraps phoenix-much easier to use than cling film and kinder to the environment!

SueDonim Sun 04-Aug-19 23:38:51

Maddyone in that situation I'd use silicon covers or plates rather than cling film or I'd put it into my 40+yo grin Tupperware and decant into dishes at the last minute.

I've just never got into cling film, I suppose.

BradfordLass72 Mon 05-Aug-19 01:24:57

I've never, ever had problems. But it's hilarious to read how many people do.

The idea of the OP struggling with a box of the stuff had me laughing out loud. But I sincerely hope it isn't true as Phoenix does not strike me as a lady easily beaten by a mere kitchen accessory.

Is it that in the UK they just don't manufacture kitchen wrap as well as the stuff imported into NZ?

Keep it on the horizontal, pull equally at each corner and slice off with the integral knifey thing. The ends stay easily available for the next use.

Even without the cutter, it's easy to keep it in the box and pull it out along the serrated edge.

Although to tell the truth, before I bought the one with the built-in, sliding knifey thing, I threaded a cord through the roll and hung it, on two hooks, at the back of my kitchen cupboard, to make it easier to deal with.

Just twisting the end makes it easy to see and grasp next time.

BBbevan Mon 05-Aug-19 05:34:01

I think they quite like living in their kitchen drawer. Along with their friends Foil and the humble Greaseproof .It's when you take them out the trouble starts. They fight to get back. Leave them for a while. Find something else. Promote Foil. Then they may be a bit more obliging !!!!

crystaltipps Mon 05-Aug-19 05:48:17

It’s the same with sellotape. Stop buying the stuff. It’s bad for the environment can be the justification. Use a reusable cover or Tupperware type box.