Rufus2 the only thing remotely near 60 in this house is my waist size! Try adding 10, subtracting three, dividing it by 2, and then multiply it by the square root of 50 and you'll be nearer the mark of my true age.
How do we know you're even a real grandad? You could be the alter ego of Mavis wearing a false beard and a tweed jacket to confuse the opposition!
On the other hand Rufus is a very manly name, unless you're really called Reginald.
I have a vision in my head now of you dressed like Russell Crowe in Gladiator striding up and down by the meat counter in Morrisons, flourishing your giant baguette, ready to challenge another in your battle for the last pork chop.
You might even end up on here as someone's celebrity crush?
Believe me I have it on good authority that many of these gransnetters spend their weekends forcing their unfortunate offspring to the swing park, just in the hope of meeting a virile OAP just like yourself
OK then. Celebrity crush -
RUFUS2.