Our troubles with DD's wedding started at the rehearsal, future SiL's parents lived up north and were only coming down for the wedding itself. The rehearsal was on the Tuesday, so SiL banned my DH, who was reading a lesson, from going as his parents weren't going to be there.
I went into town the following day to collect the men's suits we had ordered, and they didn't have the right ones. Shop close to closing, told me my only hope was to go to the warehouse 6 miles away. Drove like a lunatic, arriving to find the place in darkness, just one car in the car park. Turned out to be the MD, who opened up and threw a huge pile of suits at me to find ones that fitted and take the rest back to the shop. I was force to leave it to my husband to take my elderly father's over to him to try on. What was I thinking? DH assured me everything was fine, but on the day the trousers were a good foot too long, and the shirt so small he couldn't do up the top button!
On the Thursday I was in the shopping mall collecting little pieces and got a dreadful pain, so bad that I retired to the loos thinking I was going to faint. After about 5 minutes the attendant started shouting at me to to come out, yelling 'I know what you are doing' Obviously thought that I was a drug user!
I emerged and just about got myself home, collapsing into bed sobbing. DH came home and thought I was upset about the rehearsal! Finally persuaded him to take me to the doctor's. Diagnosed with imminent gastric rupture, told to go to A and E immediately. I wasn't going to miss my daughter's wedding, pleaded for the strongest painkillers to get me through. GP not happy, but prescribed four times the recommended dose of PPIs and told me to come back in 24 hours if the pain hadn't eased.
On the Friday we were having a family meal when the prospective bride looked thoughful and announced she had forgetten to get her contraceptive prescription for the honeymoon. Meal abandoned, back in the car to the GP, burst in for the second time in two days with an emergency. Fortunately they took pity on her and we departed clutching a prescription. 8.30pm that night, as we were making cones to hold confetti, I casually asked DD if she had had the script made up. From the alarmed look on her face, she had obviously managed to forget! The only all night pharmacy was 22 miles away, so back into the car on a long round trip to get the pills.
On the actually day we drew up at the church to be greeted by the vicar telling us to drive round the block again as propective SiL's parents hadn't arrived and we obviously couldn't start without them. Seems they had booked a hotel at the bottom of the hill and not realised how steep it was, took them ages to walk up, and when they arrived, prospective MiL was appeariing to be having a heart attack. She eventually calmed down and the wedding began.
It was the day of an England international football game, and I then noticed that the ushers (DD's 3 brothers) all had earphones in and were listening to that instead of the service. As we came in, the vicar's first words were 'what is the score?' We could have hardly missed it due to the roar that went up in the town when England scored.
With obvious supporters in the congregation, DD had organised a big screen so that it could be seen afterwards at the reception, swearing everyone to secrecy. In his address the Vicar gave out the score, calling his talk 'Match of the Day!'
In the rush I had forgotten to put any rings on, and the thought of standing in the reception line with no rings was unthinkable, so eldest usher was dispatched to pick them up on the way over to the reception. He took so long that everything was further delayed, hungry guests milling about making heavy use of the bar on empty stomachs.
When we eventually got in to sit down, I noticed SiL scribbling a few words on a napkin. I jokingly said to him 'please tell me that is not your speech you are writing?' It was, you can guess what it was like! MiL was presented with a huge bunch of flowers and profuse thank yous for supplying the groom. I, who had managed to find the church and talked the vicar into agreeing to it when they couldn't get a venue, who had made the bride's dress, and the wedding cake, didn't get a mention. Bit hurtful, but not my day so lived with it.
I was taken aside by the hotel to say that the wedding cake wasn't cooked in the middle and they couldn't serve it, It was, but I had overdone the brandy afterwards, and it was really soggy!
There were light hearted moments, the venue had belonged to the playboy millionaire Victor Lownes, and when we were shown our room, that bathroom had mirrors all round it, and in the corner a saddle and whip!!
If you have read this far, congratulations on your patience, the happy couple left the following day for their honeymoon and left their wedding certificate at the airport, never to be seen again.
DSiL is now Ex Sil...