I suddenly wanted my Mum

I miss my mum especially now although she is still alive she doesn’t know me anymore.

You will always miss your mum, no matter how good or bad they were. She was your mum after all. Look to the future with your lovely family, let it go!

My mother died 20 years ago, she had dementia so I was the strong one. She had a great sense of humour and very caring, but a bit of a fluffy pink cloud. However hardly a day goes by without my wanting to talk to her about, or tell her something. And I so wish she had lived to see her three great grandchildren whom she would have loved so much.

Ten weeks ago I had a knee replacement and the recovery is very very slow. I can hardly bend my knee now, I have been on a machine of torture that bends my knee to extortionate levels of pain, more than labour, I am walking so slowly and am only just being able to make meals, clean a bit etc. it has taken its toll on my DOH who has had to do everything on this large property including gite clients, we are both exhausted. I am a very active person, and now I have to go under anaethestic again to have it bent and then yet another 25 sessions at the physio. I know I shouldn't moan as many of our friends have cancer.

BUT I WANT MY MUM.

Oh my! ?

I will always miss my mum, it doesn't go away with time . It's my new norm sin e she dies 21 years ago

Hi
I want and think about my mum everyday it’s been seven years and although it gets easier and you start to remember the good times with fond memories I still miss her terribly we are a big close family and lots of babies have joined our family in the last seven years including my eight grandchildren also lost my dad five years ago and miss him too
Lots of love to all xxxc

I miss both my mum n dad more than words can ever say, I will always miss them. But I take comfort in the fact they are together again

I still talk to my mum even though she's been dead for 20 years. Sometimes I ask her to help if she can if one of my family has problems. Sometimes things happen to help so I have an open mind on this but don't totally believe.

I don't think it ever goes away. My Mum died suddenly whilst I was on holiday. I spoke to her every day. Even now I my phone to ring at teatime. She'd always say, 'Oh I'm sorry, are you eating? I'll not keep you', then carry on chatting while I ate. Still makes me smile. She wasn't perfect, hurt me a lot with words sometimes but I'd have her back in a heartbeat. My Daughter has told me that she doesn't like me, want or need me. My Son has cut me off completely and said to my face 'the word Mum is just a title'. I'd like to think they'd miss me when I'm gone but I think they'll be releived

millymouge, I really do feel for you. I’m the last of my family as well, father died when I was a child so mum and my two sisters were my whole world.

Middle sister died thirteen years ago, mum 7 years ago, husband 4 years ago and my eldest sister almost 3 years ago. I don’t think I shall ever get over it and, yes, I want my mum so much to tell me it will all be ok like she used to.

I have four wonderful kids and one DGD, so I’m lucky, but I do understand what you mean. Your mother is irreplaceable.

Just to put a different spin from the original post. How I envy all of you, reading about your memories of your lovely Mums.

My mother was always a bit odd I never had a normal conversation with her and could never look to her for advice. When she passed I was sad for what we never had. xxx

Grannyknot those words are perfect and absolutely true, thankyou

Grannygravy
One thing I’ve learned from Kath Mannix, a Palliative Care Consultant who has written a book and spoken on R4 about dying, is that often people choose the time of their death, and sometimes they seem to wait until after their nearest and dearest have popped out somewhere. So Please don’t feel guilty. I’m sure your mum wouldn’t want you to.

I remember overhearing my Grandma say to Mum ‘You mustn’t grieve when I’ve gone, I’ve had enough and I’ll be glad to go.’
I’m sure my own Mum, having been widowed for over 20 years, felt the same but it doesn’t actually make the sense of loss any less. I think I miss my Mum even more as time goes on.

My mum would have loved grandchildren, but died quite young, before she had any. One day, my 21 month old son, who had been told nothing about her, picked up an old photo of her, and came to me, saying joyfully “G’anma, g’anma, g’anma!” (which is what I called her mother). So perhaps my mum is closer than I thought. Now my son’s little girl calls me G’anma, which makes me very happy. Mothers go on forever.

The one thing I felt when my own mum died , more than when my father died was that there was no longer anyone that had known me from the very beginning, who could tell me all about what I was like as a child.
I sometimes felt that I was second best - 2nd one of 4, my younger brother was very much the favourite as I think he reminded her of her dad who died when I was 4. brother was born about 6 months after.
Mum and I used to sit out in the garden on summer evenings with a cuppa , until it was so dark we could barely see our way back into the house!
I don't know if we ever get over losing our mums though. There are many times that something happens and I wish I could tell her about it

I miss the fact that I don't miss my Mum. I know that sounds weird but she died at 59 & we had been partially estranged since she left home & moved halfway up the country when I was 16 & she was 36. I lived with my Dad until I married.
I miss the fact she hardly knew her GC. I miss the way some women can confide in their mums all the time. I missed having her around when children were young & I could have done with some advice- luckily I had a good friend support network.
I suppose I should be grateful that I did not have to go through seeing her get old & frail but I would have enjoyed having her around more.
Just goes to show you can't win!

Always makes me feel very sad reading about gransnetters missing their mums. I never had any kind of relationship with mine and when she died at 87 I really didn’t care.

I don’t miss my mum she’s downstairs in a granny annexe. You are very lucky ladies who had such warm loving mums. Mine is a cold person with a sharp tongue and very selfish. I miss my best friend , the first woman who ever hugged me. She put her arms round me the first time she met me and when I stiffened said ‘ oh darling F has nobody ever hugged you ? We then hugged each other for twenty years through boyfriends , marriages, children, divorces, and then she got the big C and went.
I miss her bless her.

It is hard when you have no one left who shared your youth with you. I lost my dad who was 52 back in 1967 and my mum 10 years later in 1977 but I still miss them. I was only 24 when mum died as my parents married in their 30’s. 16 years ago my only brother who was 54 fell down stairs and died and I did feel alone even though I had a loving husband and kids. Last September my cousin who lives in Australia and I hadn’t seen for over 45 visited and we talked about my mum sharing great memories. Then earlier this year, his brother who had lived in Canada for about the same amount of time visited. It was so lovely to share their fond memories of my parents.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my post, I hope it wasn't too upsetting or made people sad.

I'm sorry for the posters on here who did not or do not have loving mothers.

It’s been twelve years since my mum died...she lived to see her latest great-grandchild..my first grandchild...and six weeks later she died.we got one photo with the two together , which we treasure. I wish she could have lived to see the little sister born five years later...her last great grandchild , but it wasn’t to be! Just 3 days ago I awoke and my first thought was “ I must call mum today” ...the moment only lasts a second or two , but always poignant when reality hits. You will always think of your mum..I do... although I got on better with dad.

My mum died from breast cancer 25 years ago when she was just 64. She was always full of life, kind, caring and I still miss her. She never got to see her grandchildren grow up. I am approaching the same age now and am 62 and my daughter has just given me my first grandchild and I’ m just keeping in mind that life is precious and to spend as much time as possible with friends and family because none of us know what is round the corner xx

It’s my mother’s anniversary soon - ten years since she died aged 78. I think of her still every day, and miss her as she was my best friend. I am thankful though that she did not suffer from dementia and was still bright as a button until heart failure took her suddenly.

I never had a good relationship with my mum, she was very strict and believed in physical punishment. She never showed any love although I suppose keeping us all well fed and clothed was her way of doing it. I was afraid of her for years. So when she died I'm afraid I breathed a sigh of relief. I so wish she had been the sort of mother that most of you here have had.

Grannyknot thank you for that lovely piece of writing you shared with us. My mother died in 1988 and sometimes, in a dream, I hear her say my name...nothing more, just my name...and when I wake I feel so sad.