I suddenly wanted my Mum

Millymouge My heart goes out to you. I still miss my Mum after 20 years too, also my Dad. Like you things creep up unawares. I'm always thinking Mum (or Dad) would have loved this or that, but a few weeks ago I was looking out at the wildflowers by the pond in my garden it was so beautiful I thought I must take a photos and send it to Mum. Then of course I realised. Until you have lost a parent(s) you don't understand. Think of all the good times you had and hold onto them. xx

FC61.You are not alone and no doubt many more were, myself included, or are in your position .

It has made me so sad today to read these comments from all of you missing your mums after many years. Mine has only been gone a month and I am struggling badly. I would always call her on a Sunday( she lived 300 miles away) and earlier today the thought passed fleetingly through my mind that I must remember to give her a ring before settling down to watch the Grand Prix and then it struck me that that would never happen again. Just yesterday we were at my grandaughters 2nd birthday party and I too a photo and thought that was one to send to Mum cos GD looked so sweet. It will never end will it? There will always be those moments. I feel for all of you still going through it 10, 20 and 30 years later. And so sad for me just at the start of this journey.

The” must give her a ring” feeling is something I am aware of. I have a slightly complicated bringing up. Divorce. Could not remember Mum but remembered older sister who looked after me. I was taken away.
Did not see sister again til I was 27. She died this month. It hit me more than mother dying. Precious memories.

I’m overwhelmed by people’s response to this post and it’s opened a can of worms for me.
My mother died when I was 21 and I’m now 66. The whole family fell apart without her - she was the glue. We became fragmented; my father very quickly remarried, my younger sister went ‘off the rails’ and was married (now divorced) at 17. She now has 6 children and in a love-less relationship. I was ostracized by my older brother and sister and seen as ‘the clever one who got out’. Now I think I’m regarded jealously as the wealthy one although I’m not really and have worked hard to achieve everything.
I’m very close to my mother’s older sister who is now approaching her 95th year - she’s in contact with my sister so is subjected to her rants about me. My aunt is widowed and childless. I’m able to talk to her about my bitterness towards my mother’s early passing - my mother never sought medical advice even though she had months of signs and symptoms; she eventually died from ovarian cancer. I’ve tried to come to terms with her death but still feel such anger that she didn’t really fight to live.
I been happily married for 43 years, have three clever, well-adjusted, fulfilled married daughters and six gorgeous grandchildren. My daughters have been brought up to know it’s their duty to their families to ensure they attend all health checks as a matter of course and to seek medical support if they have any concerns.
I am very happy with my life but still feel resentful towards my mother.
Sorry about the long post. This is why I rarely post - I’ve repressed so much hurt and anger that it only takes someone else’s lovely words about missing their mum
to open the wound. One of my daughters has told me I’m from a dysfunctional family and Jeremy Kyle would have had a field day. ??

I lost my mum when I was 21 . The day she died part of me died too . I miss her terribly and wish she was here everyday , but that is for selfish needs . I have to remember she is in a better place .

I miss not only my parents at regular intervals, but all the others who are no longer with us, as well.

Loosing my sister was by far the hardest loss I have ever suffered, as it felt so unfair that she died aged 60.

Your sister's loss is bound to be affecting you now, that is perfectly natural.

My mother died almost 30 years ago, and I often wish I could have her back to say thank you for all she did. I was too busy at the time with husband and children. I only hope my children remember me with the affection that so many of you remember your mothers.

I am still lucky enough to have my mother but my father died last year at 77. I still miss him very much particularly when there is something involving Cumbria, where he came from, or something funny is happening as he had a terrific sense of humour. My husband's parents died some years ago, too.

Cried when I read all the posts here. I was 3 weeks past my 20th birthday when my much loved mama died,she never got to meet any of my children although she did get to meet my eldest brothers two and my nephew still remembers her. Hope I live long enough for my grandbubs to remember me

As some may recall from previous posts, I only lost my Mam is June 2018.
I miss her terribly every single night and day but I am living my life and I hope she's proud of me.
Over the last 4 months I have bought and sold a house and moved back home to the north east . I am very happy to be here but sad not to have been able to make the move before she died.
The house move has been the single, biggest life event I have negotiated without her " by my side ". How I have missed her listening ear and her support and wise advice.
Thanks to Mam I have been able to do this and I'm so grateful to have had such a wonderful and loving Mam . Xx
.

I lost my mum when I was 26, I so wish I could have had the worldly wisdom that comes with older age. I could of told her how much I loved her.
She never knew my husband or son, or two lovely grandsons, but I hope she watches over us all.

You are all very lucky to have had the opportunity to miss your mothers. Mine was so cruel to me, mentally & physically, even though I always tried my best to please her, that her death was just a relief - although always tinged wth sadness as to what could have been & should have been, to this day. She, & her vicious words & actions, still haunt me. All I can do is make sure my own daughter never experiences anything like I did.

My father died almost 60 years ago and my mother almost 50 years ago and I miss them although my mother and I didn't enjoy an entirely happy relationship in her widowhood. They died before I married and had children. They would have been wonderful grandparents. As I've got older I seem to miss them more and more.

Same for me Didn’t miss her at all Such a shame

I lost my Mum in 2003 ,aged 90. I had already lost my Dad in 1990. I was an only child and did not even have one cousin. I married and had two daughters.I lost my DH suddenly in 2008 and my younger daughter ,aged 33, 16 months later. Now my only blood relatives are my elder daughter -her children are adopted - and my two grandchildren ,300miles away who lost their Mum aged 4 and 2 .Now 14 and almost 12
I miss all those family members, as there is no-one else ,apart from relatives of my late DH,who thankfully,still regard me as family. .

I miss my Mum so much, it still hurts after 32 years. I needed her 3 months ago when I had two heart attacks, I convinced myself she was close by waiting for me. Then my life came back and I am so thankful as I know my family would be devastated. Mum be there for me, but not yet! Love you.

Such a lovely message. So true

Trendygran I'm so sorry to read of your losses.

for you and all who are missing someone they love.

A huge thank you, GK, for sharing that. My Mum was (and is) my laughbox. I loved her alive and still now (perhaps even more?). Whenever I hear some of her 'wise' words repeated these days I do a smiling wink and a nod in an upwards direction which is to say 'you see, I did listen sometimes!' She'll get it with joy!!

I miss my Mum and Dad, things have been so hard for me the
last two years. When my husband died over 40 years ago my
parents rushed to be with me, my father said ‘it’s alright,
Mammy and Daddy are here now ‘ how I have longed to hear those words again.

I lost my darling mum 20yrs ago 3 months after my dad had died,we where all of the same thought that she did not want to continue without him and gave up with her fight against cancer.
She is missed so much (they both are) the grandchildren where her absolute delight as they came along all her good old fashioned advice about raising babies have been passed on to my own DD.
It was my mum who told us to go with our gut feeling about moving abroad I am so glad we did as she said we would regret it in years to come,she was a lovely woman always sewing and knitting for us 4 girls until late in the night.
I miss her so so much.xx