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(133 Posts)
MissAdventure Thu 12-Sep-19 22:26:08

Is there a cure for it?
If so, I need it before I wring a certain little boys neck! angry

I'm so, so angry with spending all my time picking up after him.

I just found a pile of clean clothes in the washing bin because he is too damn lazy to sort out clean from dirty.

CanadianGran Thu 12-Sep-19 22:31:43

Cure would be no dinner, no clean clothes and electronics unplugged.
I'm not sure how old this little boy is, or your relationship to him, but all children need to learn to pick up after themselves and help around the house.

paddyann Thu 12-Sep-19 22:33:47

sounds familiar ,my 16 year old GS has a room that would make a pigsty look good.In his defence he helps care for his sick mum ,look after his sisters, works part time in a local cafe and goes to school .His stepdad goes nuts about the room but I sneak in and tidy it when SD is away working .
Pick your fights ,a messy room isn't that important in the scheme of things there are far more important things to worry about .I'd just shut the door on it and ignore it.One day he'll realise its nicer to be in a clean and tidy space .

Patsy70 Thu 12-Sep-19 22:34:49

Is this your son or grandson, MissAdventure? How old is he? You need to teach him NOW!! Don't pick up after him. He must learn the hard way, if necessary. If he conforms and is good, reward him, if he is lazy, ignore him and leave his mess until he realises that if he needs something it's up to him to put it in the right place at the right time. He'll learn! My son did.

MissAdventure Thu 12-Sep-19 22:35:07

He really is the laziest.. ahem.. boy.

He actually cries when I lose my temper and says "But its your job to do it!"

Give me strength!

MissAdventure Thu 12-Sep-19 22:37:30

I know what you're paying paddy but I really can't live in a mess.

The flat is falling apart around my ears as it is, without stuff everywhere.

I find it terribly stressful.

HettyMaud Thu 12-Sep-19 22:39:07

When my DS was young his bedroom was full, and I mean FULL, of rubbish. I could barely get in there. He kept everything - even bits of packaging -anything. Now he lives in a beautiful immaculate property. So there is hope.

MissAdventure Thu 12-Sep-19 22:41:25

He's my grandson, patsy but he lives with me.

Patsy70 Thu 12-Sep-19 22:48:37

Yes, there is hope, but in the meantime living in a mess can be psychologically damaging, and I don't mean to sound too dramatic here. If you are working, it is nice to come home to a relatively tidy, organised house - it helps to calm you. I bought a dishwasher as my 2 teenage children left dirty dishes in the sink, so if the dishes were out of sight the kitchen was relatively tidy. You can do without the stress that untidiness creates.

MissAdventure Thu 12-Sep-19 22:51:40

All I ever do when not at work is cart stuff from room to room, putting it away, putting it in the wash, picking it up off the floor - that seems to be my entire life these days!

Gonegirl Thu 12-Sep-19 22:53:45

Can I ask his age?

MissAdventure Thu 12-Sep-19 22:54:51

He's 11.

Gonegirl Thu 12-Sep-19 22:55:18

Is he of a chuckoutable age?

Gonegirl Thu 12-Sep-19 22:55:43

Ah. Perhaps not chuck him out then.

MissAdventure Thu 12-Sep-19 22:56:24

Sadly not. grin
I may have to move out myself at this rate, into a nice clean cardboard box.

Chewbacca Thu 12-Sep-19 23:01:06

Does he have pocket money MissA? If so, could you tell him that, unless he starts pulling his weight and tidying up after himself, you'll deduct ?% from it?

Gonegirl Thu 12-Sep-19 23:02:18

Write out a list of house rules? Put copies around the flat?

"If it's on the floor pick it up"
If it's clean put it in the drawer.
If it's dirty put it in the washing machine.
Be considerate.
Take responsibility for your own stuff."

(You can buy notices like that in Next, but it's probably best to write it out yourself.

And nag.

Gonegirl Thu 12-Sep-19 23:03:48

Don't let him off. Get tough. Ignore the crying. Tell him to grow up.

MissAdventure Thu 12-Sep-19 23:08:29

I do all of those things, I'm no pushover.

It just constantly has to mean me losing my temper (which is quite scary!) and its ok for a day at most, then it starts again.

paddyann Thu 12-Sep-19 23:40:52

Iknow its hard ,my daughter hates her sons mess,she has OCD can you just get a big box and chuck all the things that he leaves at his bum into it .Many years ago I put my daughters mess in a bin bag and threw it out her bedroom the amusement of my next door neighbour.It didn't stop her making a mess but it did show her if she wanted to keep her things she had to put them away .Then we had food hidden under the bed so the legs were taken off it ,Believe me I've been there and I still think if theres a different way of dealing with it other than shouting..which never works in my opinion, then you should try it.Good luck with him pre puberty is a tough old time on both of you

BradfordLass72 Thu 12-Sep-19 23:40:59


Less stuff = less stuff to cart about from room to room.

Pack up all but the essentials. Just how many changes of clothes does he need? 2-3.
Pack the rest. Same applies to toys and magazine and anything else lying about. Become a minimalist to save your sanity smile

Like all young people, he should have been taught from an early age to do his own clearing up and as long as you continue to do it and plead that you don't like untidyness as an excuse, he won't learn. What sort of adult will that make him?

Start now, you'll be doing him a favour. Not to mention any future partners.

MissAdventure Thu 12-Sep-19 23:46:51

Well, he needs school tie, blazer, trousers, shirts, rugby shirt, rugby shorts, normal indoor pe shorts, football boots, white pe socks, black outdoor pe socks, school shoes, soft pe trainers, school jumper, outdoor coat, rucksack containing 2 rulers, one scientific calculator, 3 black pens, 2 blue pens, compass.. that's just for school!

MissAdventure Thu 12-Sep-19 23:51:15

Yes, I've had the food and wrappers under the bed, too, paddy.
I do seem to have got on top of that problem, though I think it involved tipping him out of the bed and onto the floor!
We now have a bin which he sometimes even manages to put rubbish into.

Maggiemaybe Fri 13-Sep-19 00:09:35

I feel your pain, MissA. My DD2 was the most untidy, disorganised person imaginable. I managed to make her confine the mess to her bedroom (by constant nagging) and shut the door on the chaos, as paddyann suggests. Unfortunately she shared that room with DD1, who has always been super organised and neat. It led to some interesting, ahem, disagreements. And a line of masking tape right down the middle of the room, that she was forbidden to cross on pain of death.

She has changed.

MissAdventure Fri 13-Sep-19 00:21:43

Well, I feel a bit better for being able to get it off my chest, so thanks all.

It's nice to be reminded that its fairly common.

I shall just have to think up more cruel and unusual punishments. grin