Own up ! Do you do this ?

I try to give impartial and sensible advice when people ask for help on Gransnet.

I would be no different in real life.

Sometimes I do wonder if posters would give some of their very forthright and sometimes angry replies in the same way in real life.

I was brought up under the old adage of 'common courtesy costs nothing' and I can't shake it off under any circumstances. Certainly not on an anonymous website or even in real life if someone was rude to me.

I enjoy debate but am sometimes astonished at the way in which interesting, respectful and thoughtful differences of opinions can rapidly turn into a bunfight on some threads.

I'm a bit like Jane10 sometimes annoyed by a comment so it elicits a snappy response. I tend to do this in real life too so have to be prepared to get as good as I give.

This is just a thread to encourage back-biting against other posters without having to find the courage to speak out against them directly. Cowardly or what?

And I still want to know what the hell we're supposed to be "owning up" to. Perhaps the OP could come back and phrase her OP in a more accessible manner?

I call it being " assertive " if I have to give an answer to something that I don't agree with. I'm not by nature a nasty person but at the same time I've learned over the years that you don't appear to get on in life if you're polite and just sit back. It seems to be the vogue to snap back at the least thing

TBH I have never encountered such anger, rudeness, swearing, snide comments, put downs, or intolerance in RL as I have seen on GN
It may be that this is a feature of social media in general, a “curtain” of relative anonymity encouraging some people to be braver or more honest than they might be face to face - who knows? Or perhaps I lead a sheltered life.
That said, I have also encountered and been supported by real friendship and care.
It may depend on whether you send more time on the “political” threads or in the safety of Soop’s Kitchen.

In day to day life, I've not "crossed swords" with anyone. I feel most of us do the best we can. Responding on here, I don't know enough about the poster OR his/her situation to make assumptions and don't like seeing pointed criticisms that cross the line from constructive to hurtful.

I have friends and family who believe differently than I do in political, religious or other aspects of life and we have discussions that do get earnest but not rude or argumentative. My family and friends are just too important to me. If I want to "vent" about something in general, I'll post about the situation or talk to someone who believes as I do and we let off steam. If I want to try to make changes, I get involved in some way.

I am the same on here as I am in real life.

Popped in to read replies and wasn't surprised at one member's comments. Says it all really!

Me too. I'm far too thick to be secretly anything. And I believe in treating others as I would want to be treated.

MawB Fri 01-Nov-19 09:30:41 I agree, I think that some use SM to be nasty in a way they wouldn't normally. Twitter is worse.

Twice in the last few days I have been referred to as polite on GN so I will leave that there.

May we widen this? What can we do, those of us who don't need to be unpleasant to get our message across, to encourage others to be more tempered in their language? Sometimes things which start small can spread. Maybe I'm too optimistic?

Here are some things I have seen on GN which I personally find offensive and think we would be better off without:

Brexshiteers
Remoaners
Liars
Maybot and other nasty things about Bercow etc.
Make an accusation and when proved wrong not apologising.

and the really annoying one: interpreting another's post and saying they said something they didn't.

Perhaps I should stop there.

Ziggy62 your post is a classic example of what I said in my post of 08:52:07.

I try to be pleasant and give constructive advice if it's asked for. I would love to be clever enough to be an 'ethical hacker' so that I could unmask the nasty trolls and I'll bet I'm not alone in that.

Ziggy62 instead of casting aspersions please would you say what you mean. It would be so much kinder and helpful.

Having been at the receiving end of some acerbic (to put it mildly) put downs from certain posters, whether in this or previous incarnations, to the point where I felt obliged to deregister, there are clearly some who are either nasty in real life or save their venom for social media.
It is strange how upset you can be at rudeness or bullying by someone you would not give the time of day to in RL, but it is not hard to feel vulnerable.
So there may be few or none to “own up” as OP asks, but many more who have been the butt of such posts.

Good grief -we have all been less than kind at times in our lives, it's called growing up !
I hope that with maturity comes a certain degree of empathy and worldliness that influences how we now react. If not , so very sad.

Daft thread.

Sad Gransnet is going this way.

I don't post that often but if a thread I am on becomes unpleasant I leave it. I appreciate people can be very committed to their beliefs and opinions, however, they should accept that others can and will have opinions that differ.

I don't think I have ever written anything rude or hurtful on this website, or any other. "If you can't say anything real nice, don't say anything at all" was OK for Thumper's mother, so I try to stick to this rule on line. Confess to being more critical/bossy/judgemental in my "Real" life, but never knowingly unkind, though I am known for stating my case.

I do that too oldwoman

dahlia and let's not forget Mrs Doasyouwouldbedoneby.

I know sometimes it is hard not to bite back but we should try. Shame there are some, even on a thread like this, who simply don't understand you can get your point across pleasantly.

I try to say nothing that I wouldn't say in real life, while I'm online.

Shame there are some, even on a thread like this, who simply don't understand you can get your point across pleasantly.

More of the same. Sigh.

Gone yes, definitely more of the same. Shame but we all learn who they are and see how they destroy their credibility.

Well I confess that in RL I snapped today and told someone what I thought of what they had just said to me! I was already sorely tried by this person and what she said and then repeated was a last straw! She was very taken aback and went to complain about me to others but got pretty short shrift from them! I felt momentarily bad but she was 'needin telt' and I 'telt' her!!