Own up ! Do you do this ?

Well done Jane10 sometimes you just need to get the point across don't you.

Nonnie I simply don't understand your most recent post on this thread. If you are making veiled comments directed at me, please feel free to say so. I know you objected to something I said recently but I can't remember what it was about.

I believe of you have a complaint about another poster and wish to express it via a thread, then you should have the decency to name names. Not just cast adpersions about the many.

That is so true , Bridgeit .
I’m new on here as some will realise. I don’t do twitter or fb and there’s been quite a lot of comment in the media about the nastiness MPs are subjected to under the cloak of anonymity and some of the comments on You Tube are awful.

Having read a few threads I realised that some people seem to know each other very well . And of course the meet ups mean people aren’t anonymous. I hadn’t thought about that.

I can’t be bothered to argue very much these days but I am really interested in what other people think . Some posters have very strong opinions and it’s obvious they don’t want to hear a different view.
I wondered if , because some of us are older , we are more understanding of people’s differences.
And once or twice a poster has really surprised me with their directness and I’ve thought , ‘ How rude ! “

I suppose it was a bit of a daft post because who was going to own up to being nasty ? We all think we are doing the right thing.

Not daft at all, Gemini789, it's a question worth thinking about, even if just as individuals! I often wonder if people on social media and news posts would be just as rude and nasty to someone face-to-face. I'm pretty sure some would and others would shrivel under the harsh light. On Gransnet, most posters come across as quite genuine, if a bit "more so" at times. I'm guessing some let their "telling it like it is" (to them) tendency rule while maybe others are just having a bad day, are triggered by the topic, etc. I've read posts on here that I thought were pretty hurtful and then noticed that same poster be very compassionate and kind on a different thread so who knows, right?

Well I am going to own up to being brave enough to say things on GN that I wouldn't say in real life, not nasty I hope, but just speaking my mind. I'm a walkover in real life, not assertive at all, timid even, rarely say what I think, which is why I ended up with the concert problem (noise) if anyone remembers.
GN is helping me to change.

I hate when people are rude to others, and even on GN if someone is rude to me I am really affected by it.

I was saddened to read your post MawB and wish you wouldn't get so upset if/when people direct their barbs at you.

They don't know you and there may be something seriously wrong with them - just let it wash over you dear, it's not worth your tears. And you seem to have such a lovely, close family - something they may lack and be envious of.

I have a positive advantage over most people here as I've been a fat person all my life and believe me, the very worst, cruellest and most vicious comments are reserved for fat people.

And not always anonymously either - I've met vitriol face to face for no better reason than I have a larget body.

Now, I doubt anyone could say anything to me that would hurt or even slightly bother me - I've heard it all and still come up smiling.

The best revenge is success.

I'm hoping I'm just the same in RL as I am on here. I can't remember the last time I had a cross word with anyone apart from was my cat yesterday

I don’t care for this thread either. I think it’s what Mumsnetters would call goady.

But if you are Father Christmas, I have of course been very, very good this year.

To annpl. Amongst others !
Yes that’s a good point. Typing your replies does give you time to think and frame your thoughts . It makes you think about what you say and how it might be received.
What do people think about those ( not necessarily on here ) who maintain ‘ What you see is what you get ‘ ? A slightly different thing from anonymity . The opposite in fact but people like that believe they are being ‘real’ but I think it’s an excuse to be rude.
One of my friends recently decided to be more assertive after seeing a life coach. It changed her ( lovely ) personality into that of someone who felt she had to tell people what she thought. Now I don’t like her as much. Sad to say.
Now I’m retired I only seem to meet nice people. I can avoid the others. My first impression of Granset was how posters were really helpful and I thought I was going to enjoy being on here. Having read more of the other kind of threads on here I realise it depends what you are discussing. But I have a confession to make. I enjoy reading the Mrs Angry type posts as they are more entertaining. My guilty pleasure . ?

Ok Maggiemaybe - by ‘goady’ do you mean stirring up trouble ? That wasn’t my intention. What kind of threads do you like then ? Why not start one ?
I started this one after reading some ( to me ) rude comments on a thread and I wondered like I always do if I am alone in thinking that way.
On the positive side I’ve heard you have been really good this year. I will bring you a huge ( virtual ) present . What would you like ? FC ?

I had actually thought the thread was unintentionally goady.

Now I’m wondering.

I'm not pleasant and polite in real life either! I tend to speak the truth and point out the obvious. People (especially on here, quite plainly) often need a reality check!

I don’t think we are on the same wavelength .
I was just bored not ‘ goady ‘ . Yesterday I spend a long time knitting and then my right thumb gave up - arthritis I think - and so I started reading lots of threads on here.
I don’t think I have the right approach for thread starting . P.S. my thumb is better but still not a good idea to knit today.

That was to Maggiemaybe

Well, good luck with your knitting, and your thread. You won’t get any entertaining Mrs Angry posts from me. I’ve got rugby to watch.

Nothing wrong with your approach Gemini.

Well, I think this was an extremely ill judged thread, especially in light of one poster having, in the last few days, voluntarily left Gransnet because of her not too pleasant posts.

Yes. Boredom.

Gonegirl Fri 01-Nov-19 18:04:41 now why would you think that? I agreed with you! Do you think that because you make 'veiled comments'? However, if the cap fits ........

Whatever 'adpersions' are I haven't cast any! Without going back to check didn't you say something about 'same old'? To whom were you referring?

Gemini1789 Fri 01-Nov-19 18:36:37 yes, I still think that and have been on here a long time. I used to ignore it but now, if it is directed at me, I respond. It does appear that some are prepared to hand it out but not take it when it comes back. You will, over time, notice that sometimes when you respond politely with a valid point the poster has no answer so tries to make themselves a 'victim'. You will see through it too.

When I first came on GN I thought there was a lot of bullying but when I mentioned it I got a lot of comments like 'if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen'. I nearly did and still go away for a while sometimes.

annep1 Fri 01-Nov-19 19:31:41 me too. But never rude.

I didn't think the OP was being 'goady' at all. I suppose we interpret posts according to our own thoughts and then we attribute them others.

As I said, I don't think the OP intended this thread to be goady, but it certainly headed that way pretty quickly. I don't do veiled comments. Or second guess what other people's thoughts are. Or correct typos (I do think that's rude, but that's just my opinion).

So I'm off. The rugby was disappointing, I need to sort my ITV7 out now.

I wonder who left.

www.gransnet.com/forums/health/1268471-I-m-going-to-have-a-nose-job-that-I-don-t-really-want
It was GabriellaG on this thread

[Hmm] Am I being cynical if I think GabriellaG will be back under a different name?

Oh I'm sorry Nonnie. This thread totally confuddled me.