Good morning from the NE coast where it is lashing down and once again very windy. My little “hooray it’s Friday girl” will not be making an appearance today again as Friday is just another day at the moment, nowt special.
Well my DH managed for almost 10 hours with reduced sedation yesterday which is apparently easier to do with the tracheostomy rather than the tube down the throat. He was still not “awake” but rather drifting in and out of consciousness, arms moving around and now very aware of those anti clotting wraps, moving around on his legs . They have also managed to bring the oxygen down by about 30% which is also a very small step in the right direction . He is still doing that awful silent cough (through the ventilator) and they are trying their best to clear his chest via suction which is very distressing to watch. The infection stubbornly remains .
We are exactly one month in today and I still cannot believe how someone goes in hospital for tummy pains, has an operation that was (apparently) very successful and ends up on a life support machine in intensive care because of an HAI (hospital acquired infection) it’s frightening .
Of course DH will have no idea that a month has passed, but it has taken its toll on me that’s for sure. I feel like I have aged 20 years and my life will never be the same again (which could be a good thing as it was nowt special before) . Instead of wishing for a holiday or a retirement that will probably never happen I am just wishing for DH to recover and I am terrified about the future . The consultants are brutally honest about what the outcome might be for someone who has been so desperately ill and on life support for such a long period of time. Just remembering something I wrote in his LS diary 2 weeks ago and it was the consultant telling me that my DH “was probably the sickest man in the entire hospital” hard to take in .
Anyway another day of sitting at his bedside listening to alarms and watching graphs, BPs, heart rates etc. I am almost part of the fixtures in there now and think I might be going slowly crazy.
Have a good Friday everyone and keep warm .
Love Gilly x
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