Gransnet forums


Load grenade and run!

(52 Posts)
Artdecogran Fri 29-Nov-19 14:07:38

Does anyone else think that we should have the right to do away with ourselves when we wish without someone facing prosecution for aiding a suicide. I know that I could go to Switzerland but I don’t have a passport and I can’t afford it. I don’t know any drug dealers to get drugs and overdose. Paracetamol overdoses are apparently horrible. My husband died a year ago and his end was drawn out and cruel with no chance of recovery, how kind it would have been to give him something so he could have slipped off quietly. My mother in law had dementia and kept asking to die, but of course she had to be kept alive for years. Every time she got an infection that could have ended her life they took her into hospital and pumped her full of drugs and she would recover until the next time. My health isn’t great and I would so like to be able to have something to take when I wanted to. I dread being a burden on my sons. They have their own families to care for and I want them to take care of them, not me. I absolutely dread having to go into a care home, financially and emotionally frightening.
I realise that there are problems with both practicality of suicide pills flying around and families wanting to ‘off’ an elderly relative. But how many people, young as well as old, in either terminal condition or continuous pain would like to end it all.

Jane10 Fri 29-Nov-19 14:25:51

I suspect that many of us would feel like that. No easy answers though. It's a sad situation. thanks

Canalboatgranma Fri 29-Nov-19 14:28:47

I agree, I have the same fears about going into a care home especially after working as an administrator in a care home. As you say the dilemma of course is the abuse of it by family members; but that just have been legislated for this in countries where it is legal.

Namsnanny Fri 29-Nov-19 14:45:01

I agree and feel the same way as all 3 posters.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 29-Nov-19 14:49:46

I worry that on a "bad" day one could reach for the "magic pill", but who is to know if the next day could be better?

PamelaJ1 Fri 29-Nov-19 14:50:35

Me too.
It’s very expensive to go to Switzerland and you have to fit their criteria.

Yehbutnobut Fri 29-Nov-19 14:51:25

Around here there has just been another case of an old (92) man wandering off, and being found dead after several days.

I’ve heard of animals taking themselves off to die.

ayse Fri 29-Nov-19 14:51:57

I agree as well. I don’t want to be kept alive with drugs especially if I have an infection and am seriously incapacitated. I’ve told my children hoe I feel and I wish there was a solution. New Zealand has been voting recently on assisted suicide and I hope it’s been passed.

Smileless2012 Fri 29-Nov-19 14:52:14

I agree. People go to Switzerland and effectively in some cases, end their lives sooner than they would have needed too if they were able to take that decision here.

If I were in pain and/or knew that my death would be a slow protracted one, I would want to bring my life to a end for my sake of course, and also for the sake of loved ones.

lavenderzen Fri 29-Nov-19 14:54:30

I understand completely. Very difficult situation and no easy answer flowers

boheminan Fri 29-Nov-19 15:09:17

Could we as a country hold a Referendum on this very emotive subject? Surely we should all be able to choose how and when we die...

Smileless2012 Fri 29-Nov-19 15:14:34

I can't see any political party having the nerve to do so boheminan and then acting on the result if the majority who voted, voted for the right to "choose how and when we die"sad.

Jane10 Fri 29-Nov-19 15:17:13

Noooooooo. No more referendums. They only lead to division and unpleasantness. Brexit is bad enough. Imagine if it was literally a life threatening subject!

Smileless2012 Fri 29-Nov-19 15:20:01

I agree with you Jane about the curse of referendums but is there another way? Cases taken to court by individuals seeking this right always end up with the same ruling; no.

BlueBelle Fri 29-Nov-19 15:30:02

I don’t agree with killing people but you can write a living will
which will entitle you to refuse all drugs , medications or means to revive or resuscitate you in other words if you are ill or get an infection they will keep you comfortable but not give you any means to fight the illness and you will pass If you are on morphine it will kill you anyway if you have a heart attack you will not be revived
But as I see it departing is the same as arriving not something we have any control over we didn’t ask or expect to be born and we just have to go when life’s done
smileless if only suicide helped loved ones but it doesn’t it leaves them wondering what they did or didn’t do beating themselves up for ever about their perceived mistakes and by ‘if onlys’
Nature has to take it course at both end of life in my opinion

Gaunt47 Fri 29-Nov-19 15:36:47

My dear old dad, having seen his own father suffer heart failure several times in hospital and each time being resuscitated, declared he would want to take his own life under those sorts of circumstances.
In the 1990s I was going to New York and he asked me to buy a book, banned in the UK but a best seller there, which described the various methods of suicide, the declaration to leave behind and how to help someone commit suicide.
He didn't have the occasion to use it though, dying tidily and quickly of an aneurism in the stomach bless him!

Hetty58 Fri 29-Nov-19 15:47:57

BlueBelle, it's not nature taking it's course, though, rather it's doctors artificially preserving life because of their Hippocratic oath and/or abiding by GMC rules.

Vets, on the other hand, are more concerned with ending suffering - so our pets are allowed a quick, painless death when the time comes.

EllanVannin Fri 29-Nov-19 15:49:32

A knowledgeable GP in terminal illnesses would be the person to turn to and also offer help. I sent for a GP one evening back in 1994 as my H was at screaming point with pain through cancer. The GP had in his bag a pack of morphine -- based tablets in which he opened and gave my H one to swallow--7mg.
The GP asked me to put the kettle on and make a cup of tea for us all, including my D who was at the house.

The GP then settled himself into an armchair in the lounge and actually stayed put as he'd said that my H's life would end within 2 hours. So from the time that the tablet was taken and my H settled and was thankfully calm, from 8.20pm, he passed away at 10.20pm that night and it was as though he'd gone to sleep, pain-free.

So in a sense, it was like euthenasia and because my H was very ill, all it took was a 7mg. tablet. The GP was a wonderful man who'd asked us to call him Mike and who was also present to confirm death, so I believe that for very ill terminal patients there are GP's out there who can help when the patient has asked to remain at home to die rather than a hospital.

I'd nursed him for nearly 6 years as well as having to go to work.

sodapop Fri 29-Nov-19 15:52:53

On balance I would agree with assisted suicide. I have in mind particularly those people who have illnesses such as Huntingtons or MND. Personally I wouldn't want to be kept alive just because its possible. Because we can doesn't mean we should. I do have concerns about people with a mental illness who may not be able to make an informed decision.

Hetty58 Fri 29-Nov-19 16:18:08

My dearest friend had terminal brain tumours. She'd had all the hospital treatment and was at home, on morphine, with 24 hour palliative care. She was only 58 but had accepted that she was going to die.

When she collapsed, three ambulance crews arrived and worked on her for absolutely ages, trying to get her heart and lungs going. When we questioned them they said it was their job and they had to do everything they possibly could to revive her. (They couldn't, but it was very upsetting for us. If they'd 'saved' her she'd just go through it all again.)

PamelaJ1 Fri 29-Nov-19 16:30:24

Ellen -your poor husband, he must have had a wretched time. You must both have had a dreadful time.

That certainly wouldn’t happen today. Since the Shipman case the dose of morphine is very tightly controlled.
My sister’s mother in law took 2 horrible hours to die after they took her off oxygen. A big shot of morphine would have made her passing much easier. My niece, a doctor, watched it all and understood where the medical team were coming from. Understanding didn’t help.

petra Fri 29-Nov-19 16:40:12

The same thing was done for one of our family. I would imagine it happens more than we know.

EllanVannin Fri 29-Nov-19 16:43:05

Of course it does Petra. It's not something which is going to be highlighted or you'd have the anti brigade up in arms-----those who've never dealt nor experienced a man screaming in pain.

Hetty58 Fri 29-Nov-19 16:43:47

petra, I think you'll find that it's no longer allowed, unfortunately.

JenniferEccles Fri 29-Nov-19 16:46:41

I do agree with you but as we all know it’s a very emotive issue.

Some say that if the law were changed it could lead to unscrupulous relatives bumping grandma off to get their inheritance quicker.

On the other hand it does seem incredibly cruel to allow a terminally ill person to linger, often in terrible pain.

Then of course religious folk would say only God can decide when we die.