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Good news - bad news

(52 Posts)
grannyactivist Sun 01-Dec-19 00:39:34

Yesterday morning I was feeling delighted that at long last I am on the road to recovery after a very debilitating illness. I had done a presentation on the work of my charity and although it had exhausted me I was on a high. smile

Yesterday at lunchtime I got the news that my sister has died. I am feeling dreadfully sad and bereft. We have always been five sisters and now we are only four. sad sad

Today my son, who is not yet thirty, confided that he's about to be made the youngest ever partner in his firm. smile

My sister lived abroad and I am still too ill to travel to her funeral. sad

Life is a like roller coaster,
with highs and lows
and speeds and slows,
with screams and blows,
with dreams and woes.
Just hold on. Keep holding on.

Are you in a situation of highs and lows just now?

janipat Sun 01-Dec-19 00:45:22

I'm not, but I have been there before. Sending sympathetic hugs grannyactivist it's terribly hard to lose a sibling, harder still when so many thousands of miles separate you. Try to enjoy your son's wonderful news in the certainty that your sister would want you to x

kittylester Sun 01-Dec-19 07:56:04

Also sending hugs ga. Life is often like that isnt it.

Iam64 Sun 01-Dec-19 08:02:00

Sending love and positive vibes granny activist. Yes, highs and lows here as well. Our age group face more significant health stuff, which brings end of life closer. Look after yourself x

EllanVannin Sun 01-Dec-19 08:20:25

Bad news always seems to follow good news and vice-versa. It's a fact of life that most have experienced at some point in their lives. Although difficult, it's worse as you get older because of problems with illness/mobility if a problem is out of your reach.
As the old saying goes " these things are sent to try us " and try us they do !

I also understand how helpless you'll feel too at not being fit enough to travel and because it was your sister makes it all the more upsetting for you, as anyone would be.
I'm sure your sister would have understood. Just sit quietly and think about her. Sending warm ((((((hugs )))))))

lemongrove Sun 01-Dec-19 08:34:34

Yes, many highs and lows here too grannya
The fact that you are ill no doubt makes it all worse and hard to face, I don’t know what illness you have had but at least you say you are starting to recover now, so hope it continues.
Feeling low in body affect the mind also.
Such is life! We have to accept the things that we can’t change.
A friend of mine is one of ten brothers and sisters, and one by one they die, she has lost two in the last year.The more family and friends we have the more we have to grieve when we lose them, but you know what Shakespeare had to say on that subject.
Get well

GranE Sun 01-Dec-19 08:43:42

So sorry about your sister, grannyactivist. That is so hard. I am sure, as others have said, that your sister would have understood your situation and that your heart will be there at her funeral. flowers

Huge congratulations to your son. You must be so proud of him. And well done you for climbing back so tenaciously from your illness.

lavenderzen Sun 01-Dec-19 08:45:40

grannyactivist flowers

harrigran Sun 01-Dec-19 09:03:05

Sorry to hear your sad news ga but good to know your DS is so successful.
We are in a similar situation but hands tied and mouth gagged so I am not able to share my situation with anyone.

sodapop Sun 01-Dec-19 09:13:03

Life truly is a roller coaster Grannyactivist so sorry to hear your sister had died. It's hard not being able to attend the funeral but you can have your own quiet time of contemplation and prayer to remember her.
Good news for your son, you must be very proud of him.
Take care thanks

DillytheGardener Sun 01-Dec-19 09:17:59

Dear Granny A,

I’m so sorry to hear of the monumental loss of your sister and your ill health that prevents your being able to say your goodbyes in person.

Is the funeral soon? Perhaps you could write something to be read aloud at the funeral by one of your other sisters or a family friend attending the service?

It doesn’t need to be something grand, just one of your favourite memories of her and something funny is always lovely, as funerals have the habit of making the person being eulogised sound like a rather boring saint. I appreciated when my father passed away one mourner who spoke about my father being lazy and wearing his PJ’s under suits so he could have a nap on his office couch at midday. That was the dad I knew and loved and all these years later the only speech I remember from the funeral.

Also now a days most funeral homes offer a video record so that you may watch live or after the service as the link stays up for a few days. It may pay to ask the people organising the service if this is possible so that you maybe ‘present’ with the other mourners.

Sending love and allow yourself to mourn and do make sure that you ask for help or company if you need it.

Dilly x

Sparklefizz Sun 01-Dec-19 09:39:39

flowers for you granny a. I am sorry to hear the news about your sister.

2019 has been mostly a year of lows for me, all of them health.
Hoping for the highs in 2020 but all we can do is to keep on keeping on.

BusterTank Sun 01-Dec-19 09:52:25

I'm also one of five girls so I can imagine your loss . Try put a smile on your face for your son but also allow yourself time to grief . Think of all the wonderful times you and your sister had and not of her passing . Keep your chin up .

Luckygirl Sun 01-Dec-19 10:00:49

Sorry to hear about your sister ga - flowers

Esmerelda Sun 01-Dec-19 10:21:29

So very sad to hear of your sister's death grannyactivist. Rejoice with your son and try to remember all the good times with your sister, but don't forget to grieve even though you cannot travel to the funeral. Have a brew and a cupcake, or a wine if you prefer. Hugs.

jura2 Sun 01-Dec-19 10:26:24

Oh I am so sorry to hear hugs

Witchypoo Sun 01-Dec-19 10:41:37

Ups and downs, highs and lows, my mental health at the moment means i am having them constantly. Never a day goes by without anxiety or panic attacks showing their faces and i collapse under it all. It is very very hard to keep dragging yourself back up. Its my life at the moment but i do not choose it and hopefully will improve very soon

Summerfly Sun 01-Dec-19 10:42:14

Love and hugs GA. 💖💖💖

Keeper1 Sun 01-Dec-19 10:46:11

So sorry to hear your sad news it must be so difficult not being able to travel.

Yes life is like a rollercoaster I am currently on a downward trajectory and hoping for a change in direction

Mal44 Sun 01-Dec-19 10:46:16

So sorry that you have lost a sister and can't attend the funeral.I am also one of five girls and we lost our middle sister 20years ago.She was very much loved by my brother and us girls and is still missed.We talk and laugh about her often and spend time with her husband and children as well as the beautiful grandchildren she never met.Time helps and the love always remains.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 01-Dec-19 11:01:30

Really sorry to hear about your sister,

EthelJ Sun 01-Dec-19 11:23:32

I'm not at the moment but have been and it is hard. My first child was born a few weeks before my father died which meant I don't think I ever got the chance to grieve for him properly because I was so overwhelmed by the adjustment to being a mother. Then my mother in law died just before our first grandchild was born. Again it was a very confusing and difficult time full of mixed emotions.
I am very sorry to hear about your sister.

Lupin Sun 01-Dec-19 11:49:15

Sincere condolences on your loss and congratulations to you and your son for his success. It must be strange to deal with such opposing news.
Your sister would understand your dilemma with your health and not want you to go beyond your strength by trying to attend her funeral. I wish you comfort in your loss.
Human beings are amazing really in their ability to deal with all the ups and downs we experience. I liked your poem and think that the lines about holding on indicate your strength to deal with this. Very best wishes Grannyactivist.

annodomini Sun 01-Dec-19 11:56:30

ga, I'm so sad for you and your family. I know exactly how you must be feeling. My dear sister died in August, after nine months of constant deterioration with Motor Neurone Disease. There will be a huge gap in your close family as there is in ours.
Happy things have been going on in our family at the same time, and we can have many good memories and stories to tell about our sister, so in many ways, she remains with us. It hasn't been long and the grief is still raw. You will allow yourself time to grieve along with your sisters. There will always be five of you.

hulahoop Sun 01-Dec-19 12:17:01

You must be very proud of your son .i understand about your sister we were 7 now 3 . It's unfortunate you can't get to funeral but unfortunately that's how it is it doesn't mean you don't care any less than them attending you can remember her in your own way 💐