Good news - bad news

so very sorry to hear about your sister. How proud you must be of your son.

Yes it has been a year of ups and downs for us as well. Hard to deal with sometimes I for one won't mind 2019 going on it's way.

I am in highs and lows. Not like your situation-so sorry about your sister. we had a lovely and fun Thanksgiving but my son and DIL could not come with our new granddaughter. And my 7 year old granddaughter broke her leg on a slide and my son's ex wife is being awful about it all. My DH thinks no one is listening to him, and it is all so stressful. But these are bumps to go through.

Firstly congratulations on your good news. And commiserations on your sad and heartwrenching bad news. I've never had a sister but longed for that wonderful relationship, someone who knew 'stuff' without having it explained. You and your other sisters have all lost that vital link in your chain and now I bet you think you're failing her somehow. You are not. You have loved her in her lifetime. If its possible could you join with one or more of the other 'girls' and go to a special place you all knew and talk about memories of her. Plant a tree in her memory perhaps. She is in yourheart, the miles don't count any more. Much love.

Thank you all for your posts.
We are going to hold some sort of service or ceremony in this country for her many friends and family who can’t fly to the funeral. My sister had (I keep writing ‘has’ ) homes on three continents and was wealthy enough to visit the UK several times a year from her homes in America and, more recently, in Australia.

Yesterday I felt quite numb, but waves of sadness keep washing over me. It’s ironic that of the four eldest children three of us have had chronic health problems for years, but our sister had always been very healthy until the cancer diagnosis.

So sorry grannya....

GA - my condolences, losing a sibling is truly heart breaking as I know only to well.
This year has been one I will be more than happy to see the back of def. more lows than highs.
All good wishes for your continuing recovery.

My darling nephew...my daughters’ favourite cousin ...died after a long illness ,aged 29 , on my daughters ‘ 21st birthday. She could never celebrate her birthday for 10 years after that event. Now she has started to celebrate again...but warily and quietly . She says she will never ‘get over’ his death and I believe her. Highs and lows indeed. Enjoy your sons success ...if only for his sake...slap on the brave face!

Loss of a sister must be heart breaking and something I dread as the three of us get older. It must be a comfort that she is no longer in pain. Celebrate your son's success and feel proud, you know your sister would have felt proud of her nephew. Ups and downs indeed. Hugs for being brave. xx

How cruel and unkind life can be at times, but I hope that the good news you’ve heard will serve to give you strength to cope with the hurt and pain. Well done, too, on coping with ill health. You are a strong girl, you will come through the bad days, all here on GN will support you, please use us! X

I’ve got my lows at the moment so know how you feel.

So sorry to read of your loss

Big hug Granny. I have highs and lows, at the moment its my health but I stay positive, it will improve and then it will be my high time.

Try not to feel to bad about the funeral, so far I have only made it to one and that was my mums. I missed my six's funeral due to being in hospital and felt terrible that I wasn't able to support my daughter who needed it. Maybe you could just go to a church and say a prayer or just sit in peace and remember her.

Highs and lows here too. Its a struggle when life seems to want to knock you back isnt it. So sorry for your loss. My sister also died out of the country. I lit a candle in the local church for her.Im not especially religious, but she was.

So sorry for your loss,and the fact you cant travel but you will be with your Sister in spirit.
Congratulations on your Sons achievement.
I hope you feel better soon, sending hugs to you.

So sad for you, Grannyactivist. I don't know if you are a churchgoer, but my hubby and I received news shortly after visiting the USA that a family member (whom we'd met and had celebratory lunches with) had passed away. We were not financially able to go back for the funeral, but asked if it would be possible for our Vicar to come to our home, and join us in a small ceremony for our dear cousin. We had the recent photo's of her and were able to talk about her, giving thanks for her life and joined in prayers for her, now at rest. We felt so much better being able to do this and it was very personal. If you had time to do this on the day of the funeral, this would be even better.

Sending hugs and best wishes.

I am so sorry for your loss, GA. Siblings are wonderful to have and terrible to lose.

Life is full of lots of ups and downs. I'm feeling up with the birth of my baby and doen with relationship issues at times. But life is still beautiful and I'd choose existence over not living this harsh, yet gorgeous life.

I wish your family the best, and I'm happy to hear your health is improving.

grannyactivist, it must be an incredibly sad time as you strive to recover from health issues and grieve for your sister. I can only echo what others have said abut taking time (maybe whilst the funeral is happening) to sit and think about your sister and your memories of her, of being together, of shared times, secrets, and even the joyous moments. You must be proud of your son's achievements and I'm sure he would understand that you may not be in a celebratory mood right now. The highs & lows of life tend to be harder, more extreme, closer together, concurrent and consecutive as we age. I'd guess your sister would not want you to damage your health further by travelling a long way and would understand you not being able to attend a funeral service.

You have been the voice of reason, of support, of friendship and understanding to many on here (and no doubt in your life too) - know that there are people that will be sparing a few kind thoughts for you at this time. Also, I wish your son well and hope he continues to hit his goals in life.

Sorry to hear about your sister God bless her!
Gosh my life is nothing but highs and lows ! This year I had chronic gastritis, cancer threat, major operation, incredible recovery , hormones sorted after 10 years , energy up and up at last , won a 14 year court case got my house back ( long story) my dear mentor and guide terminally ill, daughter ill, brothers Parkinson’s so bad can’t even speak, mother angry and awful, daughter headhunted by US gov Washington post phd. Every new year I hope this will be a quieter year but this new year I’m going to say this is normal , be grateful !

Every new year I hope this will be a quieter year but this new year I’m going to say this is normal, be grateful !

FC61 you're quite right, this is 'normal' life and I am truly grateful that I have a large, wonderful group of family and friends to share it with. The costs of love are painful, but are outweighed by the joys.

I am still new here, but I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I am also glad your health has improved and your son is doing well.
It’s true that life is just ups and downs for some people. I know folks who sail throughout their lives in a kind of charmed golden bubble and others who never get a break. But mostly it’s a roller coaster. It’s hard not to think oh, everything is going so well, Sod’s law is due to kick in.
I am the very youngest of my siblings. There were 11 of us and now we are 4. Grandchildren are born in the meantime and the line carries on.
It is nice that you are having a service here.
Kind regards, granny?

I'm so sorry about your sister, Grannyactivist. I lost my only sister earlier this year, within weeks of being diagnosed with a brain tumour. It absolutely knocked me sideways. Although she was eight years older than me, I had never dreamt of life without her. She was my second mother.

It's been a terrible 15mths of many downs for us, so many people dying, including one young girl in her early 20's. We've had ups, too, special times with the family and lovely holidays, for which we are grateful.

I'm glad you've had better things in your life, too.

So sorry about your sister, grannyactivist . I feel quite the same regarding the rollercoaster feelings. In May I had one of the happiest days of my life when my oldest got married. Then two months later, I found out that his brother had lung cancer and my father suddenly died from a brain bleed. My feelings are all over the place every day. I hear a song or see a picture and then cry until my eyes are all puffed up. Then a friend or one of my kids will call or send me something funny and I'll laugh or feel full of love. I can even experience the ups and downs within the same experience. For example, I felt so proud of myself the other day for repairing my shower valve but then sad because I couldn't call Dad and tell him about it.

I am so sorry to hear about your sister grannyactivist. But good to hear that you may be able to have a service of remberance for your sister which is what we did for my mother who was living abroad with us when she died. You must be very proud of your son.
Yes we have had a year of ups and mostly downs due to my ill health. After being prescribed some new medication by my oncologist 10 days ago I have been feeling so much better and eating well. Yesterday my DH asked if I would like to go to England after I finish next weeks course of radiotherapy so I can see the family for Christmas. Such a lovely idea but today I woke up feeling sick again and full of anxiety so have had to say that it's a lovely idea but I dont think I could cope with it. I just need to be in my comfort zone at the moment.

It's the early hours of the morning and I'm sitting vigil for my sister as her funeral is taking place on the other side of the world. I'm feeling so unbearably sad that I can't be there to say a proper goodbye, I just couldn't bring myself to go to bed and sleep through it.

The Wonderful Man sent me a text an hour ago inquiring if I was awake, he knows me so well. We FaceTimed briefly and I told him to go back to sleep. Now I'm awake and watching the minutes tick by - the funeral is at 4.45am (UK time). I have lit a candle and have some some readings and prayers to ponder.

You are doing a wonderful service to your sister in keeping a vigil in her memory. She will never be forgotten. Know that she was loved in her lifetime. I know she would be proud of you for being so thoughtful.

I too am awake as I worry about the future without my beloved husband. He is sleeping now. I worry his cancer will take him away. Inside I am numb with fear but outwardly I positive and upbeat for him - supporting him always. He is a good, honest man and does not deserve this awful fate.