Boxing Day meal with son and Partner, now say they can't afford it.

Just change the booking to 2 and give him the money as planned for Christmas, if he’s strapped for cash , he’ll prefer that surely? x

I would give them no cash, return one of the gifts (if you have to based on your budget) and treat them to a meal.

At this point, I'd say from here on out "no gifts at christmas" because we shouldn't be put out financially. My family IS well off and all we do is have a secret santa with a budget of 20 dollars. One present has to be bought...that's it. My husband and I don't exchange gifts and my daughter will be getting a few books and a rubber ducky. We all have everything we need! When I was a kid, I was spoilt ROTTEN as I was the first grandkid and I had ten aunts and uncles with no kids....can you imagine?

All those toys ended up in a pile in a play room... I barely touched more than a few at any given time.

We took most of it to charities and the landfill...what a shame...plastic garbage just for me.

Just change reservation to two. I doubt restaurant would be upset. They can always fill places.

I can’t understand why you are upset with them, I’m sure they are disappointed not to be going for meal , if they have had to pay out more for certain things leading up to this then that could well be why, these things happen, family’s are more important than meals out

pay for their meal as a christmas treat and use the £50 you was going to give them.

I’d cancel the entire thing - as I suspect that you will have a cat’s bum expression on your face throughout the lunch if you do go ahead!

If you still want to go out for lunch with them, I would ring and say you are happy to pay their meal in these circumstances,

Otherwise cancel their reservations and give them the presents you intended all along.

People before presents. Ask them - do they still want to come. If they do then pay for it with a smile.

But if you are going to be "iffy" about it, then just don't. The fact you are asking makes me think you will resent it, and that won't make for a pleasant meal for anybody.

I would chill out about it , in the grand scheme of things it’s not that bad, disappointing yes, but you can still enjoy yourselves ,if I read it correctly it was originally only going to be for the two of you.
Agree with others, re the restaurant it goes with the territory.best wishes

I'd change the reservation to two and leave it at that.

Your son may not want to come, or has had another offer he'd prefer to take up.

We always end up paying even if they invite us.

BBbface??

Claudia, thanks for getting back and updating us. Personally, I celebrate the fact that your on told you - I have known some who would put it on the card and struggle to pay it off.
I also wonder (and I expect you do as well) whether to say next year, that you'd like to do it and make it their Xmas gift.

Pay for them and give a secret Santa gift £5-£10 and a table gift that’s it simples

Another thought has occurred to me, have they had an invitation from others that they'd rather go to and just can't tell you. Do they think you're better off financially than you are. Has this happened before. I'd be honest about your financial position but offer the choice £50 OR meal but not both. Whatever the answer I'm sure you'll be forgiving & upbeat. The restaurant should be told asap if theres two less and will understand esp if you just say its a family emergency no need to share more than that and they wont hold it against you so don't worry what they might think. They'll easily fill the booking but give as much notice as you can its only fair. And enjoy your meal be it two or four. These things are disappointing but are more common than you think.

Most restaurants are just happy you let them know about changes or cancellations. They get a tonne of no shows this time of year.

Oh for heavens sake.
Wouldn’t you rather they manage their money effectively rather than spend money they don’t have?
Have some empathy, it’s not about you, it’s about them, they are trying to be adult in not going into 2020 financially strapped. You should be proud.
If you can’t afford it, you must do the same. You can’t afford to pay for them, so don’t.
This is about more than it being “your restaurant “.

Well said.... there are no pockets in shrouds. Let's all remember that.

I would give them the presents and as a one off this year treat them to a meal.

pay for the meal tell them that their present,

Blimey the OP has updated that she is going to pay, so stop being so horrible to her

Happy Christmas and Boxing Day Claudia, have a wonderful meal out. Family meals are so special, you have to make the most of them.

Half my family had decamped elsewhere for Christmas, enjoy yoursleves!

Cut down to £30 and less gifts and tell them their meal is part of their Christmas gifts.

Talk to your son. Why on earth should you consult with people you don’t know on a social media forum when you can just talk it out with him.

Or is it me? That’s what I would do. What about others?

Just noticed you have decided to pay. Fair enough. Ignore me.