Gransnet forums


For couples ... sleep together or sleep apart? 💤

(122 Posts)
Urmstongran Tue 24-Dec-19 00:18:13

Sleep is the most selfish thing that we can do. You can’t share your sleep with anybody, so why share your bed?

Separate rooms perhaps?

We share a bed in the U.K. but not out in Spain - we have two singles - for many months it’s so darned hot!

Which do you choose?

GagaJo Tue 24-Dec-19 00:24:16

We don't live together. So when we are together, we sleep together, at his insistence. I'd rather not. He constantly drapes an arm or a leg over me. He hogs the bed and the bedclothes. And breathes heavily or snores. I'd much rather be in another room.

grannyactivist Tue 24-Dec-19 00:25:22

I not only have my own room, I’m on a different floor in the house! I’m an owl married to a lark and I frequently have health problems that disturb my sleep. We have had separate rooms for years and it works very well for us - and as our rooms are en suite we don’t even share a bathroom. Oh joy!
It doesn’t diminish the spark either. tchwink 💝

Juliet27 Tue 24-Dec-19 00:31:41

Definitely separate rooms. I fidget, he snores. I wake early, he wakes late. What’s a spark?!!

BBbevan Tue 24-Dec-19 01:16:07

At the moment I wish it was apart as DH is having a snorefest. Short of waking him up it will just run its course.
I like sleeping together. Sometimes we wake up holding hands.

Coolgran65 Tue 24-Dec-19 02:02:31

I do a bit of both.
We start off in bed together.
However I have restless leg syndrome and insomnia so eventually I'm up and about and often go back to bed to the guest bedroom.
Because we start off in bed together it has no effect on intimacy.

agnurse Tue 24-Dec-19 03:05:45

It depends. Hubby works nights, so a lot of times I'm alone. But on his nights off we usually sleep together. Exception is if he goes to bed before I do - he is autistic and if he wakes up it's hard for him to get back to sleep. If I know or suspect he's asleep I'll sleep in a different room.

ninathenana Tue 24-Dec-19 06:10:24

Together but DH will sometimes wake at silly o'clock and take himself off to the spare room to read in the hopes of going back to sleep.

PamelaJ1 Tue 24-Dec-19 06:15:37

Together in a superking size bed.

Except for this morning. I have a stinking cold and although I got up at 3.30 to take some medication I’m still sneezing 🤧 and blowing my nose so I am now on the sofa with a cup of tea and gransnet.
Grannyactivist I have no spark today😷🤒

Sara65 Tue 24-Dec-19 06:31:28


Same, a Super king size bed means you’re together but separate, perfect! And plenty of room for stray grandchildren who appear in the night!

I too have the most horrendous cough, But I try and keep the night time coughing to my side. If it was him with the cough, he’d be sent to another room, but he’s nicer than me .

BlueSapphire Tue 24-Dec-19 06:47:22

Always together, hated it if we went anywhere and had to have single beds. Although the last cruise we went on together we had twin beds, as that's all they had left in the cabin grade we booked. We survived! Got no choice now.....
Strangely enough since DH died, I find that I tend to sleep better on my own.

kittylester Tue 24-Dec-19 07:23:33

We generally start off together but, if dh wakes in the night, he moves to one of the rooms. Luckily he moved to the bed that hasn't been changed - unlike one memorable night when he tried all the freshly changed spare beds.

Calendargirl Tue 24-Dec-19 07:27:16

This reminds me of an episode of ‘Till Death Us Do Part’.
Alf Garnett and his wife were discussing (quite amicably for once) the subject of sleeping arrangements. Wife said she thought separate bedrooms would be best.
Alf said “ Separate bedrooms? You need separate houses!”
(Houses being pronounced HAARSES in a Cockney accent)

tanith Tue 24-Dec-19 07:31:57

Always together, I don’t sleep so well now I’m alone it takes a lot of getting used to.

MawB Tue 24-Dec-19 07:38:40

Never mind separate beds or bedrooms- the important thing is separate bathrooms!

Davidhs Tue 24-Dec-19 07:41:49

2 singles pushed together to make a super king, if either of us moves or gets up it does not disturb the other, plenty of space and we can cuddle whenever we want. We are both “larks” rising early with a smile, works well for us.

Esther1 Tue 24-Dec-19 07:42:41

Separate rooms definitely. We love each other dearly but we are both fidgets and poor sleepers. We are lucky enough to have separate bathrooms too. This way we are actually delighted to greet each other in the morning - what could be nicer!

Anais75 Tue 24-Dec-19 07:58:20

Are there any ladies who would like to be an adopted grandma? I have 4 children including girls aged 9/8/4. We have no grandparents around and live in Stalybridge Manchester
Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas.

travelsafar Tue 24-Dec-19 08:05:04

we have seperate rooms and i love it. I wake during the night and often lie there and read, if i drop back to sleep i still get up at a reasonable hour. DH goes to bed late and gets up later usually 9.30ish. This started when i went through the change and use to fling off the duvet and open the windows wide due to hot flushes, neither of us was sleeping and ended up being grumpy, so this was the perfect nswer. smile

ninathenana Tue 24-Dec-19 08:14:02

Anais you may have more response starting your own thread. Your post will get lost here.
Merry Christmas 🎅

LullyDully Tue 24-Dec-19 08:21:16

Looks like not many still sleep together all the time. We do, but I fidgit a lot these days. Wouldn't seem right in separate rooms somehow..

Bed nice and big. We used to sleep in a tiny single when we were first together ❤.

farview Tue 24-Dec-19 08:34:01

Separate rooms..because I don't like him...🎅🌲🎅

jusnoneed Tue 24-Dec-19 08:41:18

Seperate rooms for many years. Wonderful.
He snores like a train, says I do too lol.
I like to read when I go to bed, he used to moan about the light (before the days of lit Kindles).
He likes to bury himself under thick duvet all year round, I like light bedding and only a sheet in warmer weather.
I can get out of my bed and you would hardly know anyone has been in it, his looks as if there has been a fight going on - such a fidget. His legs are never still, even during the day he is always moving them about when he sits down.

Shropshirelass Tue 24-Dec-19 08:47:57

Separate rooms. Why would I share a bed with someone who has ignored me for weeks, moving away when we accidentally touch in the night! Then when he feels better thinking everything is back to normal. Not likely!

sodapop Tue 24-Dec-19 08:49:15

Separate rooms here too, different sleep patterns and illness made this a good option. I don't know why some people make a big issue of this when I tell them and assume we are on the brink of divorce. Nothing could be further from the truth.