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First time Granny, baby due this weekend

(36 Posts)
Allamanda Fri 03-Jan-20 09:00:57

It’s happening soon, today or this weekend my first grandchild will be born in Hospital. A week earlier than predicted. Suddenly thinking - Am I ready? My daughter is very fortunate to have a lot of support ready and mother-in law next door to her home. My daughter is well prepared with everything at home. Any suggestions as to what I should do as soon as invited to see baby and Mum in Hospital? Maybe things I haven’t thought of? Definitely tissues as already very emotional. smile

Luckygirl Fri 03-Jan-20 09:18:20

Well - I think you are doing the right thing already - waiting till you are invited to see the baby! A good first step that will set the tone for your respect for her boundaries and wishes.

Practical things like cooking meals for them and putting them in the freezer; dealing with their laundry etc.

Exciting times for you and lots of fun to come!

GrannyLaine Fri 03-Jan-20 09:21:10

How exciting for you Allamanda! The one thought that I always held firmly in my mind was to think what was best to help the new parents as they start their journey to new parenthood. Offer help with practical things like housework and preparing meals. Hold back slightly with the baby (big ask I know!) and take the lead from your daughter. And only offer advice if specifically asked for it.

notanan2 Fri 03-Jan-20 09:23:33

Practical things like cooking meals for them and putting them in the freezer; dealing with their laundry etc.

Help is only helpful if its wanted or needed.
I would HATE someone going through my smalls, especially after giving birth when they might be stained!

Ask & listen.
Whats helpful for one person is he opposite for another.
Dont put your need to help/be involved ahead of whether or not she wants that help.
Some people like to feel they are able to cope/get back to normal

Allamanda Fri 03-Jan-20 09:25:15

It’s so exciting and also eldest daughter has baby due July 2020. What a year it’s going to be. I have cooked a few meals previously during her pregnancy which was gratefully received at that particular time. I was thinking of taking to hospital Congratulations Card, extra facial wipes, a few energy snacks. I offered previously a snack bag of goodies (I am into healthy eating) my daughter replied that my idea of snacks are too healthy! smile

annsixty Fri 03-Jan-20 09:30:30

Don’t just take a present for baby, take one for new mum as well.

notanan2 Fri 03-Jan-20 09:33:37

Ask how the parents are. Not just the baby. Thats the best gift when youre a new parent.

JenniferEccles Fri 03-Jan-20 09:41:48

Oh and remember to say that the baby is the most beautiful one in the world, because that is exactly what the parents will think anyway!!!

janeainsworth Fri 03-Jan-20 09:47:06

notanan why do you always have to jump in with a critical comment or inference, even on what should be a thread of happy anticipation?
I can’t imagine anyone on Gransnet would go rifling through their DD’s smalls. I would take ‘help with laundry’ to mean putting already sorted & approved loads being put into the machine, hanging out already washed items or doing any necessary ironing. And please don’t come back at me with a cutting who-on- earth-bothers-ironing type comment.

Allamanda I do hope everything goes well for your DD and your new GC. You sound as though you’ll be a lovely Grandma, or Granny, or Nanny, or whatever your GC is going to call you.
There’ll be times when your DD, however well she seems to be coping, feels the strain. Those are the times to be there with whatever support seems right at the time. flowers

annodomini Fri 03-Jan-20 10:09:50

When DS's partner was in hospital after the births of my grandsons, I was able to give assistance by doing her laundry, including ironing, which I loathe! DS himself was very good about cooking and cleaning.
When my DiL had both her babies, it was all very straightforward and she was home by early afternoon, so there was no hospital visiting needed. I was able to cuddle both of my GC the day they were born. So, Allamanda, unless your DD is having a C-section, you may not have to visit her in hospital as they are discharged asap. I hope it all goes smoothly and your new GC is healthy and, of course, beautiful

Dottygran59 Fri 03-Jan-20 10:17:01

Oh Allamanda - how lovely - you will remember this forever!! Yes, they DO seem to be discharged with indecent haste these days! A bottle of prosecco for new mum? Obvs to be shelved if she is breastfeeding. Offers of help with suggestions - respect their need for family time - it will come naturally to you.

Congratulations - I'm a Granny (if it's good enough for the queen lol) Have you decided what you will be called?

Ninarosa Fri 03-Jan-20 10:37:43

I didn't take anything in on the first visit as new Mum and baby had a few small problems and I'd already bought so much for baby in the run up to the birth. Perhaps some of those slipper type long socks for padding about in.
In the last six weeks since birth I've found a regular supply of meals, some decanted into small freezer boxes to be eaten as nutritious snacks even, was well received.
But yes, tissues and waterproof mascara for yourself Allamanda,it's a heart melting moment, I wish you many more of them with your much loved grand child.

Witzend Fri 03-Jan-20 10:38:41

How exciting for you!
My dd - incidentally expecting no. 3 any time soon! - was always very grateful for meals that were ready just to heat up, or go in the freezer if not needed right away.

Plus of course any tidying up, loading the dishwasher, etc. ,or fetching any shopping, loading the washing machine (if they’d be happy with that, my dd didn’t give a toss if I saw the very stained dress she’d given birth in, having only just made it to the hospital last time!).

However my dd is very easy-going. Some people wouldn’t care for even a parent going through their washing or tut tutting at the state of e.g. kitchen cupboards - if they were anything like mine 😱 that is!

Witzend Fri 03-Jan-20 10:42:11

And perhaps holding/rocking/singing to a restless new baby while she went for a shower, or a short nap.
I would always wait to be asked, though.

Grammaretto Fri 03-Jan-20 11:13:36

How exciting.
I've been a DG 7 times now but it never gets less of a thrill.

I find my DD and DiLs are very different and no one needed the same as another. so you will know your DD better than anyone else.

We arrived at the hospital when "my" first was born by Csection so mum was in for some days. Her own DP were the first to visit naturally. We made sure our DS was coping. grin

Subsequently, we saw them at home and another DiL was up and serving cups of tea to us the same day!! I told her to go back to bed. We had looked after the 2 yr old.

Don't bring alcohol. Not for bf nursing mums. A pretty nightie with front opening? A nursing pillow?

LadyGracie Fri 03-Jan-20 11:28:18

How wonderful!

I would just go with the flow, visit when asked and enjoy this special time.

Our one and only grandchild (3 on New Year’s Day) was only a matter of hours old when we saw her. She was and still is, very precious, a miracle baby. I didn’t expect a cuddle but we both had one.

We’re truly blessed sunshine

ladymuck Fri 03-Jan-20 11:29:52

Lovely news. I hope all goes well.

Newatthis Fri 03-Jan-20 11:37:02

Yes, go with the flow.A little something for the new mum will be appreciated I think and a small gift for baby. Don't give any advice unless you're asked and love, love love - it's wonderful! Congratulations!

trisher Fri 03-Jan-20 11:39:06

Congratulations. Do you know how long she will be in hospital? It varies so much these days, some are in and out. One thing you could ask is do they need any help when she is discharged. The dad will pick her and baby up of course but sometimes it's nice if someone is at the house just to see them in and help carry things, maybe make a cup of tea then disappear. All new mums are different, all new babies are too. Just ask what you can do, maybe do something special like cook, But try not to criticise or take over.Little present for the baby by the way and something like a perfume or lotion you know your DD loves just to show you realise she's still herself and not just baby's mum. Have fun and enjoy.

Allamanda Fri 03-Jan-20 14:42:51

Thank you, I will be called Granny, eyes well up just thinking about the joy coming.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 03-Jan-20 15:22:57

Congratulations, enjoy your GC and just go with what the parents want.

Jane10 Fri 03-Jan-20 15:35:00

What an exciting time for you. When my DD was in hospital after a C section what she really wanted was a ham salad roll! Everyone had brought sweet things like chocs and other treats but she missed something savoury and crunchy.
Just a thought.

Allamanda Fri 03-Jan-20 16:56:09

Thank you for all the helpful advice today. Have added a non-alcoholic bottle of fizz as gift so new Mum can celebrate and couldn’t resist a matching hat and mittens for baby as I passed the Joules shop today.

Yennifer Fri 03-Jan-20 17:05:17

I think the most important for me was to be allowed to hold my own baby and for no photos taken unless I asked for them to be. Same at home, just let me hold my baby, make your own tea, do a bit of washing up if needed, hold the baby when I need the loo etc. Hold the baby if I asked. Those were the things that bothered me the most. People basically taking my babies and not giving them back if they got fussy even though it made both of us stressed.

Flossieturner Sat 04-Jan-20 10:21:46

My GCs range from 25 down to 4 and I think that, since the explosion of Social Media, I am a lot more careful now. With my latest GC I have been more conscious not to tread on toes. For example, when one 3 year old was staying with me, I telephoned my DiL to ask her if it was alright to ‘take him to see Santa, or was that something she wanted to do herself?’ She replied, “Yes, no problem, but thank you for asking”. It would never have occurred to me to ask that sort of thing with the older GC’s parents. However MN is full of Threads about Parents wanting to do things first.

Fortunately I have been lucky not to have suffered the wrath of any of my DCs or their partners. Or maybe I am deluding myself and they have just kept it to themselves .🤭