men on postnatal wards at night

I must join in,I was a midwife in the mid sixties, I know I am ancient! but in those days there were strikt rules about visiting times, we youngsters saw we kept to them, there were two visitors to each bed,and as soon as we rang the bell after visitng was over, out they went then we could go home, there was never a problem the visitors kept to the rules.The way things are these days are awful, imagine taking food into a ward or getting into a Hospital bed beside the patient even if it is the Husband, imagine the noise with mobiles ringing, people talking loudly etc, and new Mums trying to cope with baby and to bond with it with all that going on around.As someone else said when there were Matrons, bless them, this behaviour wouldnt have been tolerated,it wouldnt have been thought of. End of rant!

Hetty58
They used to take the babies off to the nursery so mums could have a sleep and bring them back when they needed to be fed or mums wanted some bonding time.

I didn't enjoy feeling isolated.

Nanny41
I agree with your rant!

No. Absolutely not. It's not a hotel where people can come and go as they please. How can staff 'police' a situation like that! What adult needs somebody to hold their hand at all hours of the day. New mums are barely in hospital for any length of time. IMO they need rest and advice and support from staff.

My daughter was disturbed most of the night by someone’s husband snoring loudly.

So basically no middle ground huh?

So few people willing to see that this is not black and white.

Disappointing

Interesting as well that apparently the only women Whose rights matter are the ones who are considered to be doing it properly ie alone and without support

Middle ground would be private rooms. It's interesting that when it comes to womens privacy and dignity, the middle ground always involves women having to give that up.

I agree with private rooms

In this case it’s women who need support who lose

Or women who don’t who lose.

It’s why I said upthread, that instead of fighting about men in the ward, people should be fighting for better care for women. No matter what that looks like

Personally I don’t think a ward full of women learning to care for their new babies is at all caring for them or supporting them.

I wasn't physically fit after a horrendous third delivery to look after baby. He howled like a banshee whenever he was put down and the midwives were narked that he was disturbing the

I hadn't slept for over two days before he was born (blame inductions that go on forever), had been in HDU after theatre due to complications and severe haemorrhage, and I was physically not fit to be sitting up in bed awake holding little guy for hours on end. I was terrified I would doze off and drop him.

The midwives told me that the policy of 'rooming-in' i.e. baby is not taken from your bedside for anything other than medical need of baby, was not negotiable.

My brother is a doctor in another part of the hospital. Luckily he was on nights and popped up to see me in a 'quiet' spell. I burst into tears and told him I was hallucinating from lack of sleep, was convinced I was going to drop baby and kill him, and I absolutely could not stay awake any longer.

He wheeled baby off to speak to midwives and the next thing I remember it was daylight. I don't know exactly what he said but I will be eternally grateful.

I completely understand the issue with d'bag partners on maternity wards (I have some epic stories from antenatal ward stays) but it would be good to remember that some folk, after birth, are not "tired but well" but are actually in a pretty bad state and do need some extra hands.

I'm quite happy for them not to be a birth partner, but in that case the midwifery assistants need to have their rotas increased so they can let the banged-up folk get a few hours' sleep and a shower and a meal now and then...!

Callistemon, I know they used to do that - they tried with me but I refused to let them out of my sight! We have milk allergy in the family and I was too scared that somebody might give them a bottle. Luckily, I've never needed much sleep.

I think there are safeguarding issues around this. many years ago when I was a staff nurse on nights I had a few instances of drunk, abusive members of the public who were next of kin to patients who had been admitted overnight via A and E who scared and threatened me. unfortunately there was one night charge nurse who was completely unsupportive and left me to sort these situations out myself. later on there security guards were introduced - are they not in this hospital?

I’m sorry you had that experience muffinthemoo.

I’m sorry you were left to sort yourself out.

I hate that you needed a man to get the staff to listen, but I’m so glad that you had that option.

I think, but am not sure, that most, if not all, post-natal wards comprise small private rooms in New Zealand. Even so, husbands and partners or any other family members are not expected to spend the night there unless there are serious medical issues with mother, baby or both. Food, although nothing madly exciting, and coffee/tea are usually available. The idea that dad can cuddle up in a not very wide hospital bed with mum, who may have stitches, painful breasts, be achy and will certainly be very tired is really absurd – a mattress on the floor or a comfy chair suffices.