So should I lie!

I think it is very rude to ask such personal questions and it always surprises me how often people do this.
If I don't want to discuss something personal, I say "it's a long story" and change the subject.

I would just reply with, "it is not something I discuss." You shouldn't have to lie.

My good friend of 10 years has no children. I have never asked her why, as it is none of my business.

When I was asked why I didn't have children I too would always say, oh I haven't a maternal bone in my body! And when I was accompanied by whoever I was in a relationship with at the time, I would say, well he's enough to be looking after thank you.
But not many people have asked that question.
I was often tempted, although never did, ask someone 'why do you have children?' Just as pertinent I would have thought.

Almost all my closest friends are childless, I have never ever asked any of them why they are childless.

DD is resolutely single and childless and decided before she started school that she didn't want to be a mummy. She just decided it wasn't for her - and I have never challenged her thinking on this.

How rude, I would respond by saying "I didn't choose to, why did you ?".

My children say the same thing Kitty also accompanied by an eye roll.

No don't lie just be non committal. Answering a question with a question can often make people back track. So when people ask if you have children say why do you ask, their response could be along the lines of: I am interested/curious. Respond by saying thank you for your interest/curiosity. Or ask them why they have children which may take them aback and think about how inappropriate their question was to you in the first place.

I am surprised that people would think that it's ok to as that question. I have a close friend who I knew for several years before she mentioned the reason for not having children. I would not lie, tell them whatever you feel comfortable with.

On the other foot - I might ask someone if they have children (I wouldn't routinely but I might). If they say 'no' and don't elaborate, then I smile and move on. But I find it easier if they say 'no, it just never seemed right' or 'it just wasn't to be' or even 'I have nieces / nephews who take a lot of my time'.
Of course it is no-one else's 'business' but in social situations it can be a reasonable question arising in conversation. Simply asking doesn't imply (IMHO) any expectation around the answer.

I am amazed by the rudeness of people asking such a personal question.

Can you simply say that you don't want to talk about that?
Say it with a smile and refuse to be bullied into a direct response.

I’m going a bit off here. My mum who had four children would often refer to someone (unkindly) with one child, “She’s like a hen with one chick”. She didn’t have an answer when I said to her one day, “Like me then!”

I do like your throw the question back at them as to why they have chosen to have children. eazybee. It works both ways.

I have two replies- the first being "I prefer cats" and the second "once I discovered the child was staying longer than a week I decided against it". Both replies shut people up. I used to find it very rude but thankfully it did not happen often.

Goodness how rude! I like H1954’s suggestion - why do you need to know? I don’t think you should give any explanation such as couldn’t have them/didn’t want them/thinking of the planet. It’s not their business and you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone.

Or you could say ‘Well, I do like children but I couldn’t eat a whole one!’

Sorry Oldwoman didn’t actually answer your question.

You shouldn’t be put in a situation whereby you feel you have to lie. So you would be giving an honest answer to reply ‘ I would rather not talk about it’ and let them , no doubt, come to various conclusions.

According to DD some are then quite embarrassed to then think it’s because you can’t have children but she just lets it go as she and SiL get on with the life they have chosen.

To ask directly is very rude.
Perhaps you could pre empt them if you see the way the conversation is going by saying: I chose not to have children; why did you?
It is amazing the number of women who still claim their children just happened, somehow.

I reply ' No comment'! to any inappropriate question.

They actually ask you why you don’t have children!! That’s very rude isn’t it. I would reply that’s my business

I like DD2s reply, ‘not going there’! Just about covers it that she is not willing to discuss her private life. She tells me that some are actually a bit miffed that she won’t explain why she has no children! Adores her nieces but realises she is not maternal. Her choice which I fully understand, it’s her life and her choice to make.

Only wish her MiL would stop asking when, when? She is a lovely lady and both of us get on very well but eventually my lovely SiL had to tell his mother she was out of order and to stop asking.

I left it up to both DDs to make their own choices as to whichever suited their lives.

Among the other things people have said to me is that I must be a great disappointment to my parents for not giving them grandchildren - imagine how much that hurt.

You made the best decision for you OldWoman and it's no-one's business but your own.

Another comment is: "Oh, fancy only having just the one child. That is very selfish, they must be lonely".

No-one knows whether it is through choice or inability to have more children.

I too am surprised that people ask this question.

But I see absolutely no reason why you should lie, your choice. I know quite a lot of childless couples, and some of them are really good with children, just didn’t want their own.

As a child free woman myself I understand exactly where the OP is coming from. It is amazing what people feel they can say to you - from asking why you have no children to asking who is going to take care of you in your old age! In the early days of my membership of GN I was even asked why I was on the site as I had no GC!

I’m astonished that people think they can ask this question. I wouldn’t lie, I’d just say that it’s not something you’re prepared to discuss.

Try telling them a half believable lie

I have a lot of scars on my arms due to self harming. Most people ignore them but some can't. If they ask I say that when I was a child my mam and dad took me to the zoo and in those days health and safety wasn't as good as it is today. The fences were quite low around some animals and I fell into the porcupine pit. The frightened animals attacked me and the scars are the result of me having to wrestle the porcupines until the my dad jumped in and saved me.