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(70 Posts)
Jane10 Mon 03-Feb-20 16:22:24

I just received an email from a person with an official position in a large organisation. No names no pack drill (whatever that means). Anyway, the formal sign off at the end of the letter was her name, followed by 'my pronouns are she/her'. This woman has an entirely female name. I've met her and she is, indeed, female.
Is this what people have to include after their names now? Surely not.

Yours faithfully,
Jane10 my pronouns are exactly as you'd expect them to be. (Adjectives might include grumpy/old/git etc)

Grannyknot Mon 03-Feb-20 16:54:23

I've also had that and I was like, huh? My daughter had to explain it to me. I still don't get it. It's liberalism gone mad. Or something.

Nannarose Mon 03-Feb-20 17:12:12

Seems quite sensible to me. There are plenty of names that don't give a clue to the gender of the person, and I have sometimes responded to an email uncertain as to how to address the person.
I wouldn't expect it in a personal capacity, but this sounds like an 'official' email going to a lot of people so easier to have it in the usual signature than to pick and choose.
The 'rose' in my username is a family nickname - my real name is usually female, but there are some parts of the English speaking world where it is used as a male name. I used to get around that by putting 'Ms', but would be happier with this (though it never occurred to me!)

kittylester Mon 03-Feb-20 17:17:09

So, if you had to reply, would it be wrong to start the email 'Dear Sir or Madam?

And actually, weren't we modern all those years ago?

BlueBelle Mon 03-Feb-20 17:26:04

All you need to do if you are a female with a name say Charlie
is what has always happened in the past you put (Miss) (Mrs) or (Ms) in brackets after the name you don’t need to write a sentence to explain what you want to be called that’s so stupid
Best wishes
Bluebelle (Ms)
You can call me he, she, it, duck or love, but not hun

Jane10 Mon 03-Feb-20 17:28:52

It was an unequivocally female name.
Do men have to sign off giving their preferred pronouns?

Baggs Mon 03-Feb-20 17:40:56

Nobody has to sign off with their preferred pronouns. It's just a Woke craze.

Curlywhirly Mon 03-Feb-20 17:44:04

Well, call me old-fashioned, but what is the matter with Miss/Mrs/Ms/Mr in brackets after their name?!!!

Chestnut Mon 03-Feb-20 17:54:26

kittylester: So, if you had to reply, would it be wrong to start the email 'Dear Sir or Madam?
Oh my goodness, terribly wrong these days! The BBC are teaching children 9-12 years there are 100 different genders. Believe it. BBC 100 Genders
The person might be intergender or agender or any of the many others! 🙄
They would be permanently offended!

Jane10 Mon 03-Feb-20 18:06:29

I'm pretty offended at having to prove my femaleness. I guess I'm not 'woke' or whatever ungrammatical adjective is flavour of the month.

vampirequeen Mon 03-Feb-20 18:35:52

I'm of the Dear Sir or Madam ilk.

harrigran Tue 04-Feb-20 07:01:17

DD has a name which is male in the country where she lives and works, so I suppose it would work for her.

Jane10 Tue 04-Feb-20 07:13:19

So why not just add Miss/Ms/Mrs. No need to list preferred pronouns.

Oopsadaisy3 Tue 04-Feb-20 07:54:48

In these days of equality and non discrimination between the sexes, why bother to explain what sex you are? My name is shortened to a male sounding name and I have never had any problems during my working life.

BlueBelle Tue 04-Feb-20 07:56:56

To me it’s really really pretentious Look at me I m woke I know how to behave in this modern world, thumbs nose dah diddy dah dah

Sparkling Tue 04-Feb-20 07:59:58

It's gone loopy.

suziewoozie Tue 04-Feb-20 08:19:59

It’s not about being male or female, it’s a out how you self identify. So if you name is Margaret, it’s clearly female but you may identify as neither male or female so your preferred pronouns would be they/ their/ them. If Margaret left you a message asking you to ring them, you would ring up and tge conversation would go like this

You Hello I’ve had a message from Margaret, they wanted me to ring them
Organisation They are not in this morning
You When will they next be in? Or maybe I can leave a message for them on their voice mail

Etc etc etc . I’m finding all this self identifying quite ludicrous.

Jane10 Tue 04-Feb-20 09:41:48

Just daft!

henetha Tue 04-Feb-20 09:51:35

This gender thing is a load of old tosh.

Callistemon Tue 04-Feb-20 09:55:42

How would you address a letter to this Margaret though? Dear Margaret sounds very informal, obviously not Sir or Madam because that specifies male or female,

Dear Person?

It is very confusing.

suziewoozie Tue 04-Feb-20 09:57:21

The gender thing isn’t a load of tosh hen in general, even if it might bbecin this particular example.

lemongrove Tue 04-Feb-20 10:08:13

Jane10 Certainly this example is just ‘woke’ but is presumably how their HR dept has instructed staff to sign off letters.Covering their arses in case anyone complains!

suziewoozie Tue 04-Feb-20 10:11:36

I agree lemon. The power and influence of the self id gender group is out of all proportion to its numbers.

nipsmum Tue 04-Feb-20 10:14:38

Or you could reply, with To whom it may concern. No gender no names. That used to be used.

suziewoozie Tue 04-Feb-20 10:18:00

The pronoun is not really about how you address them in a letter/ email = that’s easy - but about how you would refer to them when a pronoun is used. I generally use their full name if it’s given eg Dear Margaret Smith - with emails just first names are quite commonly used now