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(71 Posts)
Jane10 Mon 03-Feb-20 16:22:24

I just received an email from a person with an official position in a large organisation. No names no pack drill (whatever that means). Anyway, the formal sign off at the end of the letter was her name, followed by 'my pronouns are she/her'. This woman has an entirely female name. I've met her and she is, indeed, female.
Is this what people have to include after their names now? Surely not.

Yours faithfully,
Jane10 my pronouns are exactly as you'd expect them to be. (Adjectives might include grumpy/old/git etc)

JulieMM Tue 04-Feb-20 10:24:02

If you’re replying to an email and unsure of gender or pronoun just start with ‘Good morning/afternoon, thank you for your recent email ....’ perhaps?

Riggie Tue 04-Feb-20 10:27:23

A friend said they started this at her workplace. Another addition was to use "they" in emails rather than he/she/him/her which led to all sorts of grammatical issues and tortuous sentences.

Riggie Tue 04-Feb-20 10:31:09

Baggs in many work places you have to comply with the officialnworkplace style.

And to a pp, the "Dear Margaret Smith" was the official "house style" at one of my jobs back in the 1980s!

suziewoozie Tue 04-Feb-20 10:31:22

Yes - it’s easy to be polite even if we think someone is being daft in situations like this. Why wouldn’t we be? I save my ire for gender nonsense that impacts women and their rights to safety, dignity and privacy.

Saggi Tue 04-Feb-20 10:38:16

More and more names seem to be gender neutral these days.... my grandson is a Riley....but I’ve heard it attached to more girls than boys. If I find the need to write to anyone I just use their name and no title. So: John Smith ...of such and such address.... do we need titles.

suziewoozie Tue 04-Feb-20 10:40:40

Agree Saggi

sarahellenwhitney Tue 04-Feb-20 10:54:19

I wonder who thought that that one up?Why not address correspondence to who ever puts their name to the letter they are sending ie John Smith /Mary Smith and let them sort out who they want to be.

Theoddbird Tue 04-Feb-20 10:56:18

Why is it important anyway what your gender is? In this day and age it should not matter.

suziewoozie Tue 04-Feb-20 10:57:36

The pronouns are nothing to do with how you address people sarah it’s about how you refer to them when a pronoun would be used.

Moggycuddler Tue 04-Feb-20 11:05:34

I suppose there are a lot of names these days that could be either male or female. A few that I've heard of that spring to mind are Ryley, Kendal and Dearden. If I saw those names at the end of a letter I wouldnt be sure if they were male or female. So if I had to follow something up and refer to that person, I wouldn't know whether to say he or she. So I suppose it sorts that issue out and nobody is offended.

Tweedle24 Tue 04-Feb-20 11:07:38

I would start ‘Dear Sir or madam’ if not sure but, was actually taught to assume male if not evident and write ’Dear sir’. (Yes, that was back in the fifties.) Maybe the company has an instruction to their staff to add that to the signature.
I agree with those who prefer the addition of a title in brackets after the signature but, does that still work in these days of multiple genders?

gillybob Tue 04-Feb-20 11:10:04

I rather like it and will use it on all of my work correspondence from now on.

Neilspurgeon0 Tue 04-Feb-20 11:17:21

Absolutely kittylister why do I SO often agree with your common sense approach to the daft world we now live in. More power to your elbow you wise woman you (I expect that will be considered patronising)

suziewoozie Tue 04-Feb-20 11:20:41

If you have someone’s name and it wasn’t clear as to sex, then why be so rude as to not start the letter/email Dear Riley Brown? Putting dear sir or madam is quite frankly childish in that situation. Pathetic

moggie57 Tue 04-Feb-20 11:29:36

a lot of people overseas think wendy is a male name. although they can see i am female .why you got boys name?actually its a girls name.

Dottynan Tue 04-Feb-20 11:34:52

Life was so simple back then. Mr, Mrs or Miss. 100 or more genders! Far too much for my little brain.

Paperbackwriter Tue 04-Feb-20 11:42:26

So next up, add a pic of your fanny, just to clarify?

suziewoozie Tue 04-Feb-20 11:53:06

Utterly vulgar Paper and pathetic and childish.

Elegran Tue 04-Feb-20 11:58:34

In any case, that wouldn't define you - self-identification as male/female now has nothing whatsoever to do with your working parts.

Hetty58 Tue 04-Feb-20 12:03:31

Agree that it's perfectly fine to address somebody by their name. It's not even relevant what their gender is - why should I care?

gillybob Tue 04-Feb-20 12:03:54

Might start signing emails with a link to that song “I am woman .... W O M AN , I’ll say it again....”

Jane10 Tue 04-Feb-20 12:33:04

It's not a matter of how to address them but how to refer to them as she/her. I don't know why I would be referring to them in this way in a letter addressed to the person concerned.
It's obviously just a way to say 'I'm female btw'!

quizqueen Tue 04-Feb-20 12:36:27

I refuse to use the pronoun 'they' or 'them', which implies a plural, for a person, which is a singular noun . Whatever is in one's pants is what you are, as far as I'm concerned, and I'm 'offended' by anyone trying to persuade me otherwise. It's not just the current 'woke' people who have a right to be offended!!!!

Shalene777 Tue 04-Feb-20 13:09:17

It's supposed to stop any embarrassment if you have to speak to the person. If they identify as male/female/non binary
so he she they them.
Very confusing at times.

grannyrebel7 Tue 04-Feb-20 13:10:26

To me "they, them" etc. are plurals or they were when I went to school smile