Is revenge sweet?

I heard of a woman who discovered that her husband was having an affair. On the day she left him she cut out the crotches of all his trousers.

It is very noble of some grans to say that they would simply rise above the wrong their men had done them, but that does not teach the perpetrator a lesson. Stinky fish behind a radiator does.

Notanan2 I agree, I know of many people who are not particularly nice and selfish and greedy towards others but sail through life unaffected by their actions. The funny thing is, is they seem to have a lot of followers to who accept their nastiness rather than be the victim

Grandad 1943: There is a reason why this is “Gransnet” not “Grandparents net”. Why not set up your own forum for men and don’t criticise ours?

Petty nonsense

I read one revenge story where a woman whose man had cheated, bought a large kiddy paddling pool, put it in the living room, blew it up then filled it to the brim and left. Seemed like a lot of hard work and expense.

When my ex was leaving me and 4 children for a younger model, friends suggested bricks through Windows, slashing tyres etc but I couldn't do any of those. I did sell the gold wedding ring that he stopped wearing years previously, for the grand sum of £4 (1970's). Weeks later when he collected all is clothes he asked if I knew where the ring was. I replied that I'd no idea. It had probably been resold or melted down by then. Naughty I know but made me feel a tiny bit better.

I did something to cause inconvenience and expense to someone who caused me a problem. I’m too ashamed to elaborate, but I regretted it almost as soon as I’d done it and I’ve regretted it ever since.

I don't want to get revenge - though I could well argue that I'd be 'fully entitled' to seek it. But its not who I want to be - I don't want to keep carrying resentment and anger and I believe revenge is a way of keeping those feelings alive. Its like scratching a mosquito bite - it feels really great at the time! But it makes it worse in the long run. I do feel for people who've been badly treated - but maybe revenge is not the best way ahead for their lives over time. Talk to someone who can help you resolve the feelings and work out a dignified and principalled way ahead.

Revenge can feel sweet,but in the long term it's best to live a good life life ,the Buddhists talk about digging two graves in regard to revenge,one for them one for yourself.

Phoebes this forum is not exclusively for women, not just for grandmothers either, despite the name.
Men are Grandparents too but there don't seem to be many men on here.

Any man is welcome to contribute to this thread with stories of revenge on a cheating partner or others who may have done them a wrong!

Would revenge make you feel better?

A work colleague with an entitled attitude would make frequent unpleasant comments to me but I always remained polite towards her.

One evening I was with a couple friends in a very popular restaurant when this colleague showed up with another person looking for a table. After being told there were none available, she pointed to me and said that as she knew me she was sure I wouldn't mind them joining our table!

The waiter approached and when asked I smiled sweetly at her - and said I had never seen her before in my life ?

When relationships break up because of domestic abuse or in particular coersive abuse the abuser is usually very reluctant to lose control of his "victim". In most of these cases the abuser is male. To him the break up is a public annoucement of behaviour he wants to keep concealed and he will lie to everyone to try and keep his "good public image".

Victims of domestic violence & coersive abuse are very traumatised when she/he finally manages to leave. They need counselling for a log time, while the abuser will never change, he will carry on with his life, abusing one partner after another. His motto is "carry on as if nothing happened and lie if the truth tries to emerge".

Some victims of this sort of abuse have found an act of revenge (with no one physically hurt) helps their healing. Some have even gone on TV to describe the horrific abuse they experienced.

I have never physically done anything as revenge but I have a way of making things happen, my family think I am a witch.
People that cross me often have minor accidents or unpleasant things happen to them, my father used to tell me it happened to him too. He used to say "be careful what you wish for".

Grandad1943
I agree with Pheobes. Sticking my head above the parapet here - I don't want men on Gransnet, I like the fact that it is mostly grans! Nothing personal against you, I just want a woman's forum

Exposure is revenge and it is not "sinking low" it is protecting others from the same fate

If it was easier to forgive we would not want revenge.But it is impossible to forgive when the wrongdoer does not seek forgiveness.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wasnt there a woman on tv( news or something?) who had sold her ex's very expensive car for 50p?

When first married we lived in a brand new estate and didn't have much money. There was another couple both only children with one son his parents bought everything the child needed and more her parents bought anything she wanted I was envious of all her fashionable clothes. She had an affair and left but returned to collect her clothes she was in the garden shouting up at hubby in the bedroom asking for her clothes. He opened the window and with the aid of a large pair of scissors cut every item of clothing and dropped them from the window. My favourite saying every dog has its day was so fitting.

I heard of someone who was forced to leave the marital home. She sprayed the carpet with a little water then scattered cress seeds on it. I'd love to have seen how that turned out.

I did the opposite from most stories when my husband left me for a woman with whom he had been having an affair for six months,

He had arranged for a friend to come and collect all his clothes. I carefully washed, ironed or pressed everything and folded it into a suitcase.

I heard later that that made him feel more guilty than ever. Later when the drama had settled and we could speak civilly, he told me it made him realise he should never have left.

That had not been the plan. I think it was a matter of pride, Before anyone asks, I did not take him back.

Christmas 2009 my husband was home for a couple of weeks prior to a 7 month tour of Afghanistan (he was Army reserves – TA, aged 48). I’d bought him camouflage underwear “to keep him from getting shot in the ar5e”. Oh, how we laughed. 2011 and he’s been caught (sigh) sexting his friends 33 year old wife, thought they had a future together, left our 23 year marriage …. I cut the camouflage underwear into shreds and put it in his bags. Yes, small, petty act but it made me feel just that bit stronger at a time when my life was falling apart. (She wasn’t interested in someone who was 50 – actually aghast at the thought)! I randomly thought about her a couple of weeks ago, found out she and her husband are now divorced, he’s very happily remarried. My ex - he's moved in with another - younger - woman and her two daughters. Looking back he was a self absorbed, selfish little man who treated me appallingly. Well rid!

No but I would like to. I've been the Secretary of our local pigeon racing organisation for 17 years and have always done a good job (according to members). However one member constantly makes my life a misery, trying to find fault with everything I do, telling lies about things I've supposedly said and the last straw was standing up at the AGM to put in a vote of no confidence in me. Nobody backed him but I was fed up of all the hassle so resigned. He used to send me texts at 2am when he was drunk trying to cause arguments over different things till I told someone and they outed him. I'm not usually a vindictive person but I would really like to put him in his place, if I was a man would he have acted the same? If I was a man I would have punched him by now lol

Smileless1212. When I read the story of the prawns, there was an addition to the story. In the version I read, the husband and mistress stripped the house of everything, including the curtain rails, and put them up in their new house. If true, that tale is even better.