If you’ve gone through feeling unmotivated, lonely, depressed, sad...

I tend to suffer from annual depressions. One is at the beginning of March which is when my father died in the space of 10 days in 1963 That combined with the time of year really gets me down.
Another is in June when I have hayfever and worry that I haven't done enough revision for A levels. Haunts me still.

What to do, when you are of no use or ornament?

What do you mean Sparkling? Say a bit more and folks can try to help.

loopyloo I know what you mean about those certain times of the year. Today was Mom's birthday so I'm always a bit sad on Valentine's day. One of my previous students posted that beginning speech from Love Actually on Instagram, today, the one that ends with "love actually is all around" so I decided to curl up on the couch tonight with my dog, Oscar, watch the movie and have a glass of hard cider! Toasting all of you Gransnet ladies, especially if you feel alone tonight!

Oops, toasting granddads, too. Btw, Rufus, loved your joke!

Have 2 friends (who don't know each other) who were singing the praises of B12 jabs for 'low mood' in women. When approached, my dr wouldn't hear of it, though offered no alternative, nor showed any interest in how I felt, which made my mood lower still.

Chardy, I've found that magnesium and eggs (because of the choline) will noticeably improve my concentration and energy (which can also help with my mood when I'm feeling more even keel overall). My B12 levels are high as per latest month's yearly physical with lab work. I'm guessing that's because I take Centrum Silver. It's a bit confusing because it's hard to know how much is being absorbed by the body.

gmarie, if you stop taking coffee at bedtime you will have more restorative sleep. Please look into caffeine addiction and ask yourself if you are taking too much coffee.

Sparkling wrote:
"What to do, when you are of no use or ornament?"

Answer: you live for yourself . Living for yourself involves taking care of your health and finances. After that boring business of health and finances you do what gives you pleasure.

If you have been habituated to putting others before self finding pleasure again may take some time and effort.

I am a terrible failure and allaying the consequent guilt is important. I manage this by doing what I enjoy.

Alexa, when I curl up with a cup of coffee, it's in the morning. I always have a cup or two while checking my email, reading the paper, etc. At night I tend to drink sparkling water. That way I'm not kept awake but I do unfortunately wake up a few times to take trips to the bathroom. I try not to drink anything late in the evening, but I seem to have gotten much thirstier as I've gotten older.

gmarie, I understand now. For me, it's tea not coffee but no caffeine at all after five PM. I drink a large glass of tomato juice as part of my effort to drink healthy fluid.

Have you been to the doc about increased thirst? It is sometimes a sign of diabetes.

Go Rufus!!! Gmarie, have a go at drinking just plain water. Maybe the fizz makes you need the toilet more during the night. Some lovely kind posts here.

T.his post really resonated with me. I was so busy being a single mom when my kids were young and working full time. Then my mom broke her hip, moved nearby and then had a stroke. Took up sooo much of my time getting her settled into a nursing home and selling her house. Still visit every other day and work full time. But I have no motivation to do anything that I used to enjoy. I don't feel depressed, just at a loss for what to do at this stage. My youngest daughter moved out almost a year ago and I don't like living alone and am not getting used to it. Son, DIL and GD live far away so I only see them occasionally if I make the 12 hour drive there. Oldest daughter lives 1 hour away and we get together once or twice a month. So I just wanted to say you are not alone and I don't think the adjustment to "empty nest" is as easy for all of us as it might seem! Thanks for all the tips from the other grans!

wake up a few times to take trips to the bathroom. I try not to drink anything late in the evening
Alexa My perfect solution, although I don't think you're eligible! I'm just out of a week's stay in hospital (details not relevant here ) , but spent admission day being ferried around Melb. all day in an ambulance and nobody asked if I wanted "to go"! . Consequently, when I had a bladder CAT scan it was full, so the doc. thought I was suffering bladder retention and shoved in a catheter!
Problem solved! Drink as much as you like, lay back and no more trips. Sorry if I've shocked anyone!
I'm sure you've got your own special devices, but I don't think I need to know!
Btw; It wasn't a DIY job!
OoRoo

Hi Rufus ?
Glad to hear you’re back home and well again.

Glad to hear you’re back home and well again.
Urmstongran Thank you very much for your good wishes! Not quite "well again" "cos I intend to milk this affliction for sympathy as long as I can!
I note from another thread that you will be off to sunny Spain shortly, assuming Himself doesn't spend your ticket money in the pub!
You may be interested in this anecdote, or not!
My fellow patient in hospital, Antonio, was/is a Catalan, 88, came to OZ as a kid and still has a good imitation accent of Benny Hill, of Spanish onions/bunions fame I didn't find out if he'd become a naturalised Aussie, although I'd doubt he'd have relinquished his Catalonian roots
Based on a straw poll of my Catalonian acqaintences, i.e. one, I'd say that 50% are very charming and 50% awkward sods!
Poor nurses had a battle even to take his routine blood pressure! he'd lie in bed initially as quiet as a log then suddenly unleash like a croc. and just as quick, shouting "Noooooo!" kicking out with his legs and almost laying hands on them. Nurses, being fit and young, easily avoided damage; I was in the next bed hoping they'd call Security to see how they dealt with such situations, but no such luck!
Yet during the day we had very interesting talks; he'd been a teacher, French/Spanish and had travelled Europe of course.
You certainly meet all sorts in hospitals!
I know you're not a genuine Mancunian like what I am (Ardwick), but you're free to use that as a dinner-table conversation starter, (or finisher!) when you're popping olives! Have a safe trip. and watch out for flailing feet!
OoRoo

Hi Rufus! I missed you! Glad you are hom, hospitals aren't the best places to be. Don't over do it now!

Hi. I joined a few days ago , this is exactly the conversation I need to hear! Great to hear all the positive comments. I had lots of kids and a busy life. I spent many weekends the last few years visiting my sick parents hours away and never lived alone till over a year ago. I moved to a smaller house in a town where I know few people then a few weeks later my Dad died then my Mam a few weeks after Dad. So living alone has been difficult and it's so sad losing lovely parents but I'm happy to have found this group. Life can be hard for all of us but having nice conversations is a great help. So despite rotten wind and weather I'm heading out for a walk. Thanks for the energy.

having nice conversations is a great help
IrishGranny Welcome! I agree, especially if they are more than just one-liners!
I'm one of a rare species around here, a Grandad living on my own in OZ and loving conversations about anything, anytime, but remember we are 11 hours ahead of the UK, so replies may not be instantaneous at 3am our time!
Where abouts are you? Not nosey! Just curious!
Slainte

Chocolate works every time and losing myself in a good novel. I've done all sorts, volunteered, worked in nursing, factories, cleaning, shops. I've drifted until my present job which I love just wish it paid more. I lost my husband had a five year old, hence the cleaning and shop jobs. I worked self employed but no one wanted to pay so I gave itup.I always come home to a hot cuppa chocolate treat and s hug from my pussies. Bliss

I missed you!
BlueSky Aw Gee! That's nice of you! "Nice" is getting a bit of a workout lately but it means a lot.
How are you going on for water down there in the SW? I never look at the Good Morning thread these days; The medical bulletins and lack of activities don't sit well with our action-packed Summer, at least the one we've just had and would rather forget! now it's showers and drizzle. I expect Annie will report on a soggy "mid-Wales" and a damp Fred!

We're still grieving over Man. City's plight and hoping an appeal will succeed.
Keep your chins up and above the high-tide mark.!
OoRoo

Rufus2. I'm in the sunny south east of Ireland, no sun today but happy in a busy Costa coffee shop now. Are you in Australia ? Or the Wizard of Oz?
etheltbags1, chocolate keeps me going too. Great medication. May try pussies too when I retire.

After reading all the thread, I feel quite normal.
Other posters have said what was in my head but didn't want it to come out.

Whilst we are told encouraged to "get outside" "take vit D" "exercise" "eat healthy" "do crosswords" "listen to music" etc etc .
What happens when you just cant be bothered to do any of those.
Maybe its the time of year and we all Spring into action (I do hope so)

At the moment I am trying to come to terms with my mums cancer(mesothelioma) my dds separation and exs constant abusive txt that has effected her mental state,my 5 yr old gsons outburst melt downs, causing problems at school and childminders, my dads Parkinsons. I also still work part time at well known supermarket, which I love.(keeps me sane)

But I am determined to get out on my Bicycle with my friend and pedal along the canal (picnic lunch) once the weather improves I have started taking vit D /B complex high strength.for about 4 weeks now, I think! there is a very slight improvement.
Its so easy being told what we "should" be doing, but some days so hard to put it into practise.

I shall try search out my gs Magic Wand from his Magicians box and wave it around gnet

Keep going everyone, a new day today

Are you in Australia ? Or the Wizard of Oz
GrannyAnne Please pick a shorter nickname; I'm not a wizard of the keyboard, nor am I the Tin Man in that musical! ,although I've gotten a bit rusty lately.
Yes, I.m in Melbourne and it's been a nice sunny day, not a cloud in the sky and 28C. They do say the sun shines on the righteous, although perhaps not always!
Do you just make that coffee for yourself, or have customers? Either way, you'll have a beautifully de-toxed liver!
OoRoo