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Secrets

(139 Posts)
MissAdventure Wed 12-Feb-20 21:58:27

Do you hold many secrets, either about yourself or somebody else?

How long have you kept this secret, and what would be the consequences if it ever came out?

P.S. what is it? grin (not really)

TrendyNannie6 Thu 13-Feb-20 10:06:49

Yes, I’ve got a few secrets only one about myself and some about friends, I would never divulge to anyone, one about a former friend but that doesn’t mean I’d divulge it I’d take the secrets to the grave, I would never promise to keep secrets if was was going to blab what’s the point,

RomyP Thu 13-Feb-20 10:34:13

I'm not telling!

polnan Thu 13-Feb-20 10:39:28

dunno, if I was told any secret, was it a secret once more than one person knows of it? not for me.. I am quite an open person

CarlyD7 Thu 13-Feb-20 10:41:20

Loads of family secrets (from both sides) from 50 or 60 years ago (or even further back) including the fact that my father was not his father's biological son (explains why he was so horrible to him). Then there's more recent secrets - lots of friends confide in me; wish they wouldn't (it's getting harder to remember who knows what).

LiliWenFach44 Thu 13-Feb-20 10:42:32

If someone says to me ‘can you keep a secret!’ I say ‘I’d rather just not know it at all really’, which is true!

Bluebird64 Thu 13-Feb-20 10:44:20

I have always been secretive, though the secrets aren't potentially damaging, they're just things that if revealed might cause people to laugh at me, which I hate, or devalue me in some way. (It comes from my childhood but that's another story). Things like: I'm addicted to self-help books, magazines and eating Cadbury's caramel spread straight from the jar with a spoon - things that most people, especially my husband, would consider 'beneath me'. My husband's mum however kept a serious secret from him - that his uncle was in prison for murder!! That has affected my husband badly and he hates being lied to. So I daren't reveal my secrets!!

Moggycuddler Thu 13-Feb-20 10:45:16

I know a secret about my DH during his early youth before we met, that his family (parents and siblings) never knew. They would probably have disowned him if they had. I would never tell anybody else. It's something I don't exactly approve of, but I understand about it. And it meant something that he felt able to tell me about it. We have been married for 40 years.

Rivernana Thu 13-Feb-20 10:47:44

Don't we all.

gagsville Thu 13-Feb-20 10:57:03

I found out an earth shattering secret about my dear departed Father. I have 3 brothers and my Mum is still alive. For a while I considered telling them, but decided that it would mean that 4 more people would be devastated. It never ceases to amaze me how people can in effect lead double lives and more often than not take their secret to the grave....

icanhandthemback Thu 13-Feb-20 10:59:02

I am hopeless with secrets and am an oversharer but I have been asked to keep something really awful as a secret for the time being and it is killing me! Not because I want to tell for my benefit but I think the community needs to know. They don't need to know the sordid details, they just need to know what happened in general terms so they and theirs can be protected. At the moment that person the secret is about is being protected by everybody keeping quiet and their partner is not having to face reality as long as the neighbours don't find out.

Sheilasue Thu 13-Feb-20 11:01:34

I once had a friend who spilled the beans on some ones secret
Who was another friend of mine and I was very angry.
I am not good at keeping surprised secrets such anniversary or birthdays etc I forget and slip up. But if I am told something by family or friends that’s a worry or serious I keep stum.

GrandmaJan Thu 13-Feb-20 11:06:06

I have a secret that I will take to my grave. It’s something that happened 47 years ago when I was a Student Nurse.

Tamayra Thu 13-Feb-20 11:08:36

My Grandmother told us she would tell us all The Skeletons in the Cupboard before she died
But she never did She just left us guessing !

Sara65 Thu 13-Feb-20 11:11:23

I’m pretty good, I’d never betray a confidence.

I know a secret about a close friend, I’ve known for thirty plus years, and haven’t told my husband. If it came out it would cause an enormous amount of trouble.

One of my granddaughters often tells me things about not liking her stepfather and his family, but I’m never to tell mummy, that I struggle with, not sure I’m right to keep quiet, but she has to be able to trust me.

EllanVannin Thu 13-Feb-20 11:12:02

I have no secrets. If anyone tells me anything, it remains embedded.
Although I say it myself, I'm a loyal person and would never divulge anyone else's business.

The trouble is, if unbeknown to you, a person told someone else their secret and it was leaked, suspicion would then rest on you. A secret is a secret and should be kept as such and not even told to a best friend as it's no longer a secret.

driverann Thu 13-Feb-20 11:15:45

A secret is not a secret if it’s shared it’s just gossip. When I was training to become a nurse a deputy matron offered to help me with my studies so I would past the exams. It was to be the start of a 5 year lesbian affair. I passed first time, however she had no say in the marking of the papers she just made the studying so much more interesting and enjoyable.

Notthatoldyet9 Thu 13-Feb-20 11:20:25

Only the one ...

Jess20 Thu 13-Feb-20 11:23:50

I was told a secret by someone who didn't know me well, the idea was, I later realised, that I should tell other people and get it passed on so the original person didn't have to be associated with it. Their bad luck, I don't pass on things if people ask me not to, it'd have to be a matter of others personal safety before I'd tell, and even then I'd be very clear up front that I was intending to do so.

JuliaM Thu 13-Feb-20 11:30:07

I too have a few secrets from my Nursing days, that l never will tell, all in the name of Patient confidentiality, and one because my employer made me swear an oath with their company solicitor never to tell.
Personally, l do have some, mostly due to family stuff, but one of my own regarding the true reasons behind my choice of final resting place.

aonk Thu 13-Feb-20 11:31:15

I have quite a few secrets which I will never divulge. Most concern my first husband. The truth would not show him up in good light so I will not tell my sons. I want them to have a good opinion of their late father.

Ninjanana2 Thu 13-Feb-20 11:31:44

Some secrets are heartbreaking and that's why they are secrets! Never betray a secret unless you have the persons permission!

driverann Thu 13-Feb-20 11:47:48

Secrets can be damaging to those who keep them and those who ask you to keep them. Jimmy Saville was able to carry out years of abuse because of those who kept his “little secrets”. Many crimes have gone unsolved because of those who hold the secrets but don’t tell. They are almost as guilty as the person/s who carried out the crime. If you know of evil deeds tell it and get it off your chest and out of your mind.

Teddy123 Thu 13-Feb-20 11:50:21

I've only realised in the last couple of years that a couple of people who I considered my very good friends were happily discussing my secrets with others. So I used to be an open book with close friends. Now my secrets are only known to me.

These friends, whom I no longer see, are very lucky that I've never revealed their secrets! I hope they feel a little nervous but their secrets are safe with me.

If they read this on Gransnet I hope they're blushing ?

sandelf Thu 13-Feb-20 11:51:13

Some that would change lives if I said anything. I learnt early and hard that a secret shared is rarely a secret.

3nanny6 Thu 13-Feb-20 12:01:37

My late mother came from a large family and she had five sisters. (also some brothers) They all lived in and around London very late 40's. To cut a long story short one of the sisters who was unmarried became pregnant and the baby was given to another sister to bring up. Much later on in life it caused many arguments within the extended family. The child that was given to the other aunt grew up and had her own children. To this day the children of my cousin still believe that the aunt who brought up my cousin is their biological grand-mother when actually she was not. Difficult situation to say the least.