Secrets

I have kept someone's secret since 1976 I will never share it as not mine to tell.

Hello. I have secrets regarding myself, family and other people that have been with me for over 65 years. They could rip people's lives apart, rip families apart, send people over the edge and much more. I have always been someone that others have come to with their problems and secrets and I hold these, never to be revealed. They will go with me to the afterlife. Love to hear your remarks

Kissngate. Absolutely not. I was just responding to the original post.

Hello again MissAdventure. I forgot to add that as I was a private investigator for 30 years or more, that some of the secrets I hold are in regards to my work.

Oh wow! How interesting!

I have a secret regarding something in my youth. I have sometimes longed to tell but never will. The repercussions of this event, which might seem less than significant to some, have profoundly impacted my life decisions. However I am happy enough and sharing this secret would hurt others so it must go with me when I go.

As regards others, when I was young a friend confided in me that she was having an affair. I worked with her and I was 'her' friend rather than being a couples friend with her husband and mine. I liked her husband very much and thought she was making a big mistake. I told her this at the time but said I would never betray her secret, nor have I. After we stopped working together we used to meet up for a meal in the evening about once a month. She began quite often cancelling me at very short notice and it occurred to me that she might be using me as a cover for her meetups with her lover. When this penny dropped I did tell her in no uncertain terms that while I would never betray her secret she was not to use me in any way as cover. The secret was hers but I was not going to be an active part in her choices under any circumstances whatsoever. She took this on board and although this was more than 30 years ago we are friends to this day.

I am very good at keeping secrets (my mum taught me that trait!), sometimes it can cause me discomfort and some I would rather not know but hey ho I wouldnt tell anyone else.

I have kept secrets and I would never tell

Yes. All my life from childhood if someone said don't tell anyone else I didn't. I also worked in a field where confidentiality was part of my work. I have never divulged a confidence and fortunately have never been in the situation where it would be necessary to do so e.g. if I learned that the person themselves or any other person's life or welfare was in danger.

I see that people are talking about secrets and situations where they hear others discussing a person's secret. I have had that happen but I just stay out of the conversation, indeed out of the room if it is possible.

Nortsat46 I am sorry about the passing of your sister. I am sorry too that you are left with the lonely knowledge of a matter that is a burden and hard to carry, as many secrets are, and very possibly you would love to be able to share the burden. I hope you will feel that as time goes by the matters concerning the secret become further away and that you can feel it does not weigh on you any more. I would, if it were me, try to resist telling another about it, no matter how much time has passed. People can react so differently to what you might expect and might resent very much that you have known so long. you are strong. You can hold this safely in your heart, your sister trusted you and wherever she is now she still loves you. Stay loyal to her, my dear. Good luck.

I would have done the same thing, Nortsat.

faye17. I wanted to say exactly what you said, if you want to keep a secret tell no-one. But your story is so salutary! You wonderful brave girl! I am so glad you are well now and your lovely son too! ?

janeayressister How terribly sad! I could cry for you. It is so lonely to have terrible secret. By deciding that it cannot ever become knowledge to others makes you both lonely but also strong. Hold on to your strength. Look at the good things in your life and say these are what is real about me, ok so I know something painful and can never tell anyone, but it's not what my life is about. You still get up each day and live your own life. Try and put what you know to bed and not let it come into your daily life. Bless you, love, I do know the pain of a terrible secret, but please do not let it hurt you. ??

My guilty secret is that my mum bought me a gold chain for my 21st birthday and as I had alcohol issues I sold it for beer money. Even though I’m 61 and tea total since 2002, my dishonesty haunts me. Said I’d lost it

driverann. You have wisely brought up the ethical matter surrounding secrets. I said if someone asked me not to tell anyone something, even when I was a child I would not. But I do remember at around 10 years old saying to, of all people, my Primary School Headmaster, when something happened and he said jokingly "Let that be our little secret." that I would decide whether a secret was the sort I should keep or whether it was something I needed to tell my Dad! Now we teach our children about the wrong kinds of secrets. The evils of Savile will leave such a terrible stain on our history. You are so right - many people were keeping secrets for him, at a very high level and the evil that ensued ruined so many lives. It was truly loathsome. But I found him disgusting when he first appeared, with his cigar and awful hair and all that "jingle jangle" jewellery. I would not have wanted to go near him.

Bazza321. Well done on being tea total for all these years! You are someone your mum must be proud of, even if she has passed on, she will be so proud of you! Giving up the drink when you have that awful addictive illness is very, very tough indeed.

I think you need to stop beating yourself up about the your mum's present on your 21st. I know I'm not one who practises what I preach, mind you, as every day some little thing I did wrong years ago will come back to bother me! I know the gold chain isn't a little thing obviously, but I am sure, now all these years later, you have done enough of feeling sorry about it to deserve to let it go. As far as you can... I understand why you sold it! I'm a mum of fairly old daughters. I'd forgive them. You're only human, love. It's not your fault you got addicted to alcohol so quickly, so young. You must have a disposition/metabolism or something that makes alcohol do this to you more easily than most to have become addicted to that extent when you were so young. Please start lightening up on yourself and start telling yourself that you have achieved a fantastic thing in giving the ** stuff up!! Be proud of yourself for once! Anyway, not buying alcohol saves a lot of money (I don't drink either) so maybe you can put a bit by each month and get another necklace and do it in honour of your mum? Take care, lots of love, Elle.

Riverdance888. You are wonderful! Bless you! You must have helped so many people who knew they could unburden their worries safely to you.

marpau I love what you said, It sums up what I feel, you can't tell others about somebody's secret because it's not mine to tell.

Does anyone, like me, say when someone starts confiding something, if they tell me something I feel I must tell another person in order to safeguard a life or the welfare of somebody then I shall get the appropriate help? I know The Samaritans have their policies, but as a Counsellor I had to make sure nobody came to harm, including if I learned someone was suicidal.

Tillybelle that is standard practice in a lot of councelling and mental health nursing situations. It was something we were trained to do during mental health nurse training back in the early 1980s and again whilst working for a large Charity lead Mental health Rehab unit just before l retired.
Some Clients would make up situations as a cry for help and to gain extra staff attention, which maybe entirely false, but we always acted in their best intrest at the time even if that ment breaking patient confidentiality.

Well, I think I'd be keeping Mick Jagger a secret

Oh dear, wrong page

Callistemon! So what's this secret about you and Mick Jagger? Come on! Spill the beans!

I was answering MissA who posted on this thread instead of the charisma thread; she said Mick Jagger is on her charismatic list.

It's all getting a bit confusing!!

How disappointing Callistemon! I was ready to be agog with your Mick Jagger secrets!

Never Chewbacca!

I mean there would be no chance of any secrets with MJ! Even if he went down on his ancient bended knees and begged.

I have been told secrets when I was a young teenager,the position I was put into by a family member was very difficult for me and I have found it a heavy burden.
I also worked in a profession that confidentiality was key .
Other secrets had been told,someone will feel hurt by one and the longer it is kept the more they will feel hurt and angry.
I will not tell, it is not mine to tell.
However if it involved serious harm such as a paedophile I could not be quiet. A paedophile befriended my parents and I remember not feeling comfortable in his company,he tried to get my young brother alone,I didn't trust him so stuck to my brother like glue.
A few months later he was arrested for abusing young boys.

I will always keep a secret entrusted to Me by you, but I do not think I have any personal secrets. I might not tell everyone my life story, but would if asked.

There was a secret very similar to yours 3Nanny6 in my family. My mum at age 21, in Ireland, became pregnant under the worst possible circumstances. My mum wasn't in a position to bring the baby up on her own and one of my mum's 9 sisters brought up the baby and eventually adopted her. My mum and aunt vowed that this secret would stay with them forever. However, my aunt, who had 5 children of her own, revealed the secret unbeknown to my mum. I think it had a devastating effect on my mum (my mum was a closed book). My half-sister, whom I had always thought was my cousin, discovered before my mum knew that the secret had been revealed. My half sister had 6 children of her own. Not all of an extremely large Irish family knew the secret and when my half sister and 3 of her daughters attended our mum's funeral it was quite a shocking revelation. It was a very difficult time for my half-sister and I wonder how this has affected her life. It's all very sad tbh. Secrets are dangerous things.