Secrets

I’m pretty good at keeping secrets, but don’t know any life-shattering ones. I have none of my own that would interest anyone else.
However, my son and DIL told me that their first baby was on the way, but were only telling their parents for the time being. They planned on doing a ‘big reveal’ at a family occasion.
DIL broke her ankle, and had to have an operation to pin it. I told my son what had happened, and blurted out, “She is worried about the anesthetic affecting the baby,” then clapped my hand over my mouth in horror as he said, “What baby?” Luckily he kept the secret until the announcement was made, then I confessed to what I had done. Luckily, they saw the funny side.

I honestly think you may have your secrets in life but they come out on your death. A good friend of mine died and boy did her secrets come out, it was quite shocking in some ways and caused a lot of upset,

This secret was told to a former work colleague 8 years ago. She was married had two children 18 and 16 and her Fil had passed away 12 months before. One weekend when her family wasn't around her MiL paid her an unannounced visit which she thought strange as she lived 30 miles away and always rang first. It appears when FiL died there had been a write up in the paper as he was a local businessman. A few weeks after his death mil had a knock on door and a young man introduced himself and said he was her grandson. She said he was the image of Fil and her son (colleagues husband). He said 18 years before his mum had had relationship with her son and Fil knew this. His mum had told fil when he was born to pass info on to his son he had not said a word to mil. The lad knew from the paper he had a half brother and sister and wanted contact and left details. She was shocked but said she'd speak to son and take it from there. When confronted had denied all knowledge told his mum to never mention it again. The lad had come back once since and she had to tell him her son denied it. He said his mum had told him he would just as Fil had kept the secret too. He offered to provide DNA if family wanted it but hadn't been back in touch with her since. Work colleague was devastated said she would never tell children they had half brother in case it wasn't true and had no intention of confronting husband but had told us because her mind wasn't on work. She couldn't tell her mum or dad as they were not in good health and didnt need the worry. I'm not sure what I would have done in her situation.

I always think that if someone tells me something in confidence, it's not my story to tell, it's theirs.

I think secrets should never be shared. I have been told some that I would have rather not have known. It can change the way you feel about people you know

I’m great at keeping others secrets safe

Driverann Secrets can be damaging to those who keep them and those who ask you to keep them.
I completely agree with you. It's better to be open and honest rather than keep things hidden. You are right when you say perpetrators like Jimmy Saville use "this is our little secret " and that's how they get away with it for so long.

Sorry, I can’t comment. ‘It’s a secret’.!!

However in the words of The Beatles

"Listen, do you want to know a secret?
Do you promise not to tell?
Whoa-oh-oh, closer
Let me whisper in your ear
Say the words you long to hear
I'm in love with you, ooh"
This kind of secret is my kind of secret

Missfoodlove I am so proud of your mother and I didn`t even know her.
What a wonderful lady she must have been.

I have secrets for sure and I have them for my friend too.
We would never tell a soul.
I even have one from my DIL and would never tell anyone.
Isn`t it lovely these days to have people around us we trust 100%.

I have kept secrets since the seventies, two friends had abortions ( of which I am not in agreement) and stayed with me afterwards. i gave them my word that i would never tell, and I haven't. One friend subsequently married the father of the child. I assume she has told him, but we have lost touch over the years so I do not know.
The other friend split up with her partner a few months after the abortion but never told him. This is the one that bothers me most as he wanted children and I thought he should have been told but it was not my place to do so. The subject has never since been discussed between my friend and I and she has never had a long term partner. It is not always a good idea to share secrets. I am now in my late seventies and still feel guilt over this deception.

When I was 14, my aunt and her husband adopted a baby. They told us to tell no one and moved to another part of the country.
My own family didn't believe in 'secrets', saying they could lead to trouble (I was taught only to keep good secrets). I remember my mother talking to my aunt about this, and we then we talked, several times. My mother was very unhappy about keeping this secret, but we agreed that it was not ours to tell.
Had my aunt died first, I think my mother might have broken the secret. But my mother died first, and after my aunts death, I thought quite hard about what to do. However, I was not close to my cousin , unsurprisingly, and decided to let it lie.
He did find out, of course, on going through family papers. I could only say what I had been told for 50 years, that it was not my secret. We are no longer in touch, and I am unsure as to whether I did the right thing. I do know that my aunt , under duress from her husband, did the wrong thing.

A friend who was going back to Australia told me her father molested her when she was a child. She'd gone before I could really respond.

No, I don't have any deep, dark secrets, and I'm not aware of anyone else's. However, if I were told something in confidence, I would not betray that, ever!
I have a big thing about honesty though, and hate lies. I would rather not have to keep a secret, whomever it belonged to!

My boss once told me something ‘for your ears only’ so I certainly don’t don’t mention it to my colleague. The secret was eventually out in the open and my colleague and I discovered that he’d told the secret to both of us. If it had been a test of our honesty then we both passed with flying colours!

Not sure if I ever knew any secrets. My dear friend says she knows she can tell me anything because I either don't listen or can't remember!

DD has shared two very big secrets with me one her DF knows as well but the other is just between her and I. I would never break that trust and tell anyone and neither would my DH. I have a few secrets from my youth, nothing earth shattering or criminal , but I feel embarrassed by them now as an adult so I would not discuss or disclose them to anyone.

I don't think anyone should keep secrets regarding a paedophile, especially when he is working as a caretaker at a school! Those children would be in great danger ,once a paedophile always a paedophile.

I have a secret I will take to my grave. Just like GrandmaJan it was an incident that happened 40+ years ago, also when I was a student nurse. I worry about it to this day. Sometimes I wish there was someone I could tell, but I know I never will.

I have discovered this week that my mother kept a secret from me all my life.I have discovered that I have a sister living in New Zealand.Imsgine my shock when I received the news via a friend of hers who had been helping her to look for me for over thirty years

Daffydilly - I'm not sure if you are referring to me in your reply but when my work colleague told the three of us in the office she didnt say it was a secret she just wanted to share with us to relieve the stress. Her Mil had told her for the same reason and didnt want to take the secret to the grave.

If I have secrets I would never tell, not interested in hearing others telling me secrets about others as I would feel they would do the same to you. Its like being in the company of someone talking about their friends or acquaintances in negative ways and immediately I’m left wondering what they say behind my back.

For men..
Prince, Mick Jagger, and the late but absolutely mesmerising Michael Hutchens.

Oh poop!
Wrong thread. Sorry.