Do we mollycoddle our children today?

At six I was in charge of a younger girl, walking to school and home again, at nine I was walking a long way to Brownies in the evenings summer and winter in charge of her and another younger girl. Then she ran across the road and was knocked down. I can still see it now. She was injured but not fatally.

After that her father used to fetch us home if it was dark.

We still all caught a bus to school from age 7 but walked miles to go to the library on the way home instead.

In 1957 as a baby I would be put outside in the pram for the morning. Mum told of brushing the snow off the apron before she brought me indoors for lunch ?
Then at 8 and 6 we lived in Scotland and school was a train journey away. Mum took us the first day then said, "You'll be ok by yourselves tomorrow won't you?" My brother said yes, I said no, but we went on our own from then on.
Beggars belief these days!

Back to your original question Urmston Was it character building or traumatising?
A bit of both I suspect.
I was given a lot of freedom but if I slipped up , like getting off the bus at the wrong stop and being late, I would get a row for being stupid!
I was 7 when I was put on an overnight train, to stay with an aunt, and the woman in the other bunk was asked to keep an eye on me.

At age 9 we sent DD to live with her DGP in France for a school term. She travelled by plane with her 11 yr old cousin. They both enjoyed the experience on the whole but we missed her. No different from children being sent to boarding school.

That reminds me, Calli that when ds1 started school we lived in a remote area of Scotland. He didn’t want to be taken to school after the first week as no one else’s mum went so he went off on his own. Then two ‘big’ girls from across the road knocked on the door and asked if they could call for him in the mornings, to which I said yes. They were two years above him so were mature girls of at least seven years of age. I look back and can’t believe how naive I was! ???

I think we let children be children these days. When it's not realy that long till you have too much responsibility and you can't scratch an itch without throwing your back out it's a good lesson we've learned x

I think my parents were fairly careful, given the times. We had a coin jar in the china cabinet, and were told we could pay for a taxi home if we ever got sick. My mother did not work outside the home until after my oldest sister was 13, but there were four of us, and it was quite a responsibility when you think back on it.

We were left up to our own devices for playing around the neighbourhood, or as far as our bicycles could take us, but were always told to knock on a door and if a lady answered, could ask to use the telephone.

DH was sent to school by himself after the first time when he was taken to show him the way. He was eight and it was over 200 miles, two trains, changing in London.

Curlywhirley, I feel the same as you, I did sometimes wonder if I’d been neglected as a child, but it seems my childhood was much the same as other people’s in my age group. Walking to school alone, or with my older sister at five years old. Going to the dentist with my sister at seven years old, no mother, she didn’t think it was necessary to accompany us. Having the job of washing the dishes, plus pans, and leaving a spotless and tidy kitchen after dinner every night at seven years old. Taking the clothes to the launderette and washing and drying them from eleven years old, though that was only an occasional job when mum didn’t feel like doing the weekly wash in her twin tub. Washing the front paintwork and porch steps every week from eleven years old.

We had lots of freedom, I remember playing in the street from a very young age.
I remember my gran collecting me from infant school, but from junior school, all the children from our part of the estate walked together, probably a couple of miles. School holidays we were just free to do anything we liked, as long as it didn’t cost anything.

My children also had quite a lot of freedom, but they were all driven to and from school, and I liked to know where they were going. But my grandchildren have none at all.

My childhood would give health and safety a fit these days. Growing up on a farm we had endless space. our only rules, stay out of the machine shed and away from the bull. My grandad still used horses for many tasks. The children in the family would be sat on their backs told hold the mane and tell them when to start and stop we felt so important. The big horses were so huge and gentle. Bee keeping without special protection, walking the cows to be milked,we never saw danger just taught to respect the animals and the land.

Oh the memories of going to the local shop for ten Embassy tipped.

I was walking to school, either alone or with friends, aged 5.

Our door was rarely locked and if it was, the key was under the mat.

None of the local women worked - some never did, some were retired - so there was always someone around. We would be out for hours, in a large gang.

There would be fighting, stone throwing but no-one cared really-you learned to take care of yourself.

Even before I could read I was sent up the road - it was quite a way - with money and a list for the shop. And taking the bus home from school on my own from about 6 - I missed the usual bus once (dawdling) and didn’t realise there’d be another if I just waited, so walked (dawdled) taking time to have a good look at the pet shop on the way. My poor mother was frantic!

Rather more recently, my name and that of another mother at dd2’s school were mud, after we allowed our 13 year old dds - after much pleading - to go on their own on a day trip via train from London and ferry - to Calais. It would be an adventure! they had argued, and of course they’d practise their French!

I won’t say I wasn’t worried - there were many exhortations of Don’t do anything silly! Stay together! Keep your passport and money safe!!!
But they had a whale of a time and came back safe and sound.
Dd2 is nearly 40 - I doubt I’d ever allow such a thing now!

But some of the other mothers at school....! One of them wouldn’t even let her dd go to the local town for shopping on her own on a Saturday.

This is a really good question Urmston makes me realise how much freedom with did have in the 50's and 60's compared to my grandchildren today

I walked to school on my own as both parents worked, from first starting school. No breakfast club in those days. Luckily Infant school was at the top of the road, with only one road to cross. I remember at the age of 6 I was put on a bus by a teacher, and met the other end by Mum. I remember feeling so grown up.

We lived in a Bungalow which came with Dad's job. So school holidays we were left to our own devices. With Dad popping over every so often to see we were ok (his office was literally yards away). If we were 'up to no good' one of us kept a look out to see if he was coming over

We played ball games outside in the street until it was dark. Then decided it was time to go home.

Was never allowed a bicycle though, as Mum said the roads were too dangerous! This was early 60's

Just remembered, from a young age was often asked by Dad to pop to the shop to buy his ciggies! Park Drive or Senior Service. Imagine that happening now!

I walked the 2 miles to school when I was 6 in the 50s. I played out all day and came home when the street lights went on. I went to Sunday school alone and visited friends. I lived in a small town and there weren’t so many cars then.

My own children who were brought up in the Netherlands also went to school alone from the age of 8. It wasn’t very far with no busy roads. Later they went everywhere on their bikes.

I think a certain amount of independence is good and teaches them responsibility.

A lot of experiences here similar to mine. Our back garden backed on to a stream which fed into a pond, from a very early age we were under a gap in the fence and playing round the stream and duck pond. Beyond the duck pond was a cricket pitch and beyond that was a common, this was my stamping ground from a very early age.

Often my brother and I would walk, with another girl who lived nearby possibly a mile to and from school, sometimes our mother would be take us and meet us after school but not always. Later on I would walk to and from Brownies held in our church hall, probably half an hour away. School holidays we were out all the time playing in and around the common.

I think most of us suffered from a benign parental neglect which probably developed us as people and helped us stand on our own two feet. I just don't think parents fretted over their children the way that became the norm, certainly when my children were growing up. I can remember on Christmas Eve, having gone to bed earlier, our parents trying to raise us to go to Midnight Mass, if they couldn't do that, they just left us in the house and went off. I'm sure that would be illegal today given our ages.

I think as children we had an innate sense of danger. One school holiday, aged about 10, I and a couple of friends got the train to nearby Box Hill, a few stops away, lying on the grass having a picnic we were approached by a man who got talking to us, firstly about innocuous things like school, he eventually asked us whether we were wearing any underwear, what colour etc., we just scarpered as fast as we could

Oh the Good Old Day ???

Witzend

You’re right, that would never happen now, they would be met at the port and put into the care of social services.

I’m currently backing two of my granddaughters (age 10, and cousins) to be allowed into the local town for a couple of hours on their own, it’s completely pedestrianised, and they’re familiar with it. I really can’t see the harm.

How times have changed eh? I was born in 1954. So about 1960 onwards playing out was great fun. Hopscotch on the pavement ‘chalked up’ with a stone. Hula hoops. Roller skates. I remember my little sister falling over and boy did she cry. We all told her not to be mard. I felt cross as she would not stop crying and she had spoilt my game as I eventually had to take her home.

All the way down two streets of terraced houses she repeated the mantra ‘mind my arm, mind my arm’ as she held onto it with her other one.

Turned out it was broken, dear Reader.
?

Poor love. She was 6y at the time.

I was very independent from a young age, mainly due to a NM.
I did the majority of the house hold chores and cooked meals by the age of 11.
However for some reason the iron and washing machine were totally out of bounds!! I never understood why.

We currently have our 5 year old GD staying with us.
Yesterday we made meatballs and spaghetti together from scratch. Unfortunately it resulted in a little burn on her finger and a few tears.
She now knows that burns are treated with cold running water and ice and that not paying attention when dealing with hot pans means injury!!

I can't have been more than 8 when a friend's older sister started to take me to the riding stables - me sitting on the seat of her bike, her pedalling and the dog running alongside. We went all over the place to ride.

I, later, also cycled a mile or two to Guides and to visit friends. I took the neighbour's children out in their prams and walked them the couple of miles to my aunt's house and back.

When we moved to where we are now, some 30 years ago, DS was the youngest (at 9) of the mixed group of local children. They wandered through the fields, played in the barns (making tunnels through the hay - he didn't tell me until he was grown up!!), helping with the sheep dipping. They all looked after each other and took any injured friends home. They knew who lived in every house (and were known), so could have called anywhere for help.

It couldn't happen now. Too many people who aren't part of the community and only sleep here, not enough children... Would love to let DGD have the same experiences, but can't.

I walked to school from about 7/8 on my own 4 times a day as I came home for lunch and had to walk back about 20 minutes each way crossing minor roads. In the holidays me and my cousin would play out all day with a drink and a sandwich and come back at teatime mostly in nearby fields. I remember on the way home once a man exposed himself to us we ran like the wind back to aunties house.

The worse thing that ever happened was I called for best friend whose uncle lived with them and he invited me in only she wasn’t there only him and he touched me up and it was hard to get away from him I was only about 9. I told my dad when we were by ourselves and I can still see the way his hands tightened on the steering wheel and his face so angry. We had just got to my nana’s house and he told me to go in and wait for him and drove off. Apparently he went to friends house and I don’t know what he did to said man but he never bothered me again.

I don't remember being scared at all when out alone. It was quite normal to get yourself to primary school and back in those days so all the local children did. We'd often be sent to the shops (a mile away) for things too, I suspect to get rid of us for a while!

We'd play out and head for home when the sun was going down. Nobody knew where we were. No, there was no way to contact home.

I remember once being wheeled home on (what was left of) my bike, with a bump on my head, concussion, seeing stars and vomiting - by other kids. My mother's reaction? Not well, so off to bed with you and a wet cloth on the bump!

to answer the question "Yes"

however times have changed, more people, more cars, more everything

I am fortunate that my gks are not quite so mollycoddled,,
however... I often wonder where the "scaredness/fear" has come from...

I can remember walking home on my own from my first Infant school - we moved around by 7th birthday so it must have been when I was 6!! It was about a mile, not a straight road and with several roads to cross one had a lollipop lady but the rest didnt, although there was less traffic back then and everyone walked so I guess someone would have kept an eye. It wasnt a regular thing so I guess Mum had something important on.