Do we mollycoddle our children today?

I only lived 5 minutes from Primary school, but at 11 I passed the 11plus to go to grammar school in the nearest town 10 miles away - by bus. At that time we had free bus passes for the whole time that we were in full time education. The only ones that were taken by car tended to be the ones that went to private school.
I enjoyed taking the bus to school (once I got over travel sickness!) and it was great because you met and made friends with people from other villages and schools that you wouldn't normally meet.
I used to run errands for my grandmother who lived next door , so was able to go all over the village on my own.
Mum didn't think twice about leaving me in the house on my own if she needed to go to the shop certainly from when I was about 8 and when I was 12 or 13, I was allowed to stay at home alone while the rest of the family visited family about 4o minutes away, for the afternoon.
My own son only walked to school on his own from 9 when he went to middle school, about 10 minutes away - I can't remember how old he was when he was allowed to stay at home alone - he was about 15 or so when he used to catch a bus each Saturday to a friends house.
In my village, you do still see children going to the shop without an adult, usually in twos or with an older sibling but having said that, one of my nieces went to the town centre where she lived when she was about 14 (this is about 15 years ago) and got beaten up by a group of girls because she didn't go to the same school as they did , so they reckoned she was a snob!!!

When I was a child I played in the street all day without supervision, walked to school, made my own snacks, went into Durham alone on a bus, chose my own clothes.
When my children were young we lived on a farm, they went off exploring alone, cooked their own food (I was working) caught the bus too and from school, they worked on weekends and had responsibilities. Went camping alone (when they were older)
My two youngest grandchildren (11 and 9) are not allowed to take the school bus, are not allowed to play anywhere but the back yard, don’t choose their own clothes, cannot cook the simplest of food, do not clean their rooms and have no responsibilities in the house at all.
So yes some kids today are very mollycoddled

A couple of years ago I visited primary schools in Helsinki. The children there are given a lot of independence with even the youngest children taking public buses across the city to school, on their own. In class the children do not wear socks or slippers, just their socks. I hurriedly went to pick up some drawing pins from a classroom floor for obvious reasons, but was reprimanded by the teacher, who, when I explained the children may step on the pins, replied “they will do it only once”!

I have a very vivid memory of playing out at 3. I can remember getting so excited that no one had found me in hide and seek that I wet myself! Can even remember that I was wearing a pair of yellow dungarees. Walked to school for 40 minutes through Portsmouth at age 4 but I was with my big brother who was all of 8, well just he was August born. Think although the traffic dangers were not there so much the other dangers were but no one was so aware of them. I can remember taking my 3 young cousins out and babysitting when I was 10. Walk all align the beach and seafront with them. These days my 10 year old granddaughter doesn’t walk to school on her own.

I have 2 grandson 10 and 7 their mum brings them up like I brought my children up proper food and lots of hugs and kisses but most of all she tells them she loves them all the time I think its how we bring our children up that rubs of and teaches them how to be good parents

I walked alone 2 miles to primary school because my siblings were older and at a different school. It was an urban area but much quieter traffic-wise back then. I was only scared if I saw an unleashed dog which meant I would turn back! I also recall when I was 11/12 being the first to arrive home. I would clear the ashes from the grate and relay and light the fire. Secondly I'd peel vegetables for supper, until mum and siblings arrived to take over. No central heating - it didn't seem like doing chores, just a necessity for us all to be warm. How times have changed.

There are many different kinds of mollycoddling. For many parents living in towns or cities it would quite rightly be unthinkable to allow the children to roam as freely as many of us were able to do. But this has to be done in a more structured and thought out way.

I certainly think children are not given nearly enough responsibility for themselves from an early age. I know of children who never tidy up after themselves, never even cut up their own food, never get themselves ready for school on time, never take responsibility for having the right things in their school bag. These kind of things result in totally clueless young men and women who have no idea how to negotiate their way through life.

I was born in the 1950's and spent most of the (when not at school) out on the streets playing with my friends - until we were called in by our Mums. From the age of 9 I was a "latchkey" kid - both parents worked full-time. I would let myself in at lunchtime and eat what she had left for me; and let myself in after school. I remember feeling very grown up but also lonely. Yes, we were given more freedom but it wasn't always wanted. It will be interesting to see if the kids today grow up feeling more secure as a result of their "mollycoddling". Time will tell.

From the time I was 8 and my brother 5 years old we were sent on our own, on the train, all the way from Newcastle to Bristol every year, to spend our summer holidays with our grandparents in Somerset. Only a word with the guard to keep an eye on us now and then. We were so poor that was the only holiday we had as children and our parents had no holidays at all. This sounds like the 1930s but it was actually the early 1970s!

We also, at the same age, walked more than a mile to school on our own, on busy roads, as our parents had to be at work.

We just accepted it, as normal life. I think it made us resourceful and independent. I don't regret a thing, and it was glorious in those endless 1970's summers to be left to wander the countryside all day, no questions from grown-ups, only coming home for meals (apart from obligatory housecleaning sessions with my grandmother). I feel sorry for today's kids, monitored, accompanied and supervised to within an inch of their lives.

I think so, probably yes. Like others, I remember saying 'I'm going out to play...' and mum would say 'be back before it gets dark.' I remember the things we did - climbing over walls into hidden old gardens, along a long hidden track to the river, down onto the beach. It was normal. When I had my own children the idea of that terrified me. Not know where they are? Be able to see them? I know I was too nervous and restictive. They have proved that (not counting traffic) there are no more dangers today than there were then when it comes to the unspeakable (abduction etc.) but we are too afraid now and children have lost that sense of adventure and solving problems for themselves and being responsible that we have. I know I still step in too much - my children are adults but still I am there with money to help out and wanting to fix things. I think in the past there was far more the idea that once you were grown, you looked after yourself. Saved for what you wanted, sorted out your own affairs far more than now when parents (me included) can't seem to let them go and deal with things themselves.

I remember when it was my first day at 'little' school,i was 5,(back in late 60's) I'd only been once before with mum,to 'put my down' for school,and mum took me first day morning,but it was around 2 corners(so 2 streets away) to get to home,and on first day a stupid teacher said to me (as everyone else had gone dinner hall& i didnt know where?) "Go on go home for your lunch now"- well i was not supposed to,i was sure i was supposed to be staying,but a teacher had said so,so off i trailed,finding my way home,scared as i wasnt to sure it was right way,& when i got there my mum& much older sister had gone out,so neighbour took me in& gave me soup& bread! Then my mum came home & took me back to school,told them off for teacher sending me home when i should have stayed to lunch,so i got a 'second' dinner from school.I remember when i was 11 too walking home on my first day from secondary school but we'd moved then& it was a bit further,and i was scared (a bit) as i wasnt very sure of way properly (did my mum only ever take me anywhere once?) so i decided to try follow some other girls who were in a group as i knew they lived near us.& some were saying "don't you know your own way home?" It was awful..I couldn't imagine doing that to any of my kids,only taking them to a place once& expecting them to know what they're doing/where to go.I made sure they were taken or we went a 'dummy run' a few times before high school so they knew if theyd to get the bus..& I certainly wouldnt let them go alone at primary age.How things change

I am amazed when I see the current potential university students being accompanied by a parent to the interviews. They are 18 ! My children, now in their fifties would have died of embarrassment if I had wanted to join them. And they were ready to make their own decisions.

I used to go into town aged 9 or 10 to Junior Red Cross classes and Mothercraft classes (?!) and walk back alone to our village about a mile on a dark road. My dad wouldn’t get his car out to pick me up. One night I got followed and flashed at. I burst into tears when I got home, I remember my Mum consoling me but my Dad still wouldn’t get the car out on an evening..

I know,it seemed so different back then,me& my mates would go play out& go all over,at 7/8/9 etc & even at 12/13 we'd go to town on saturdays or cinema& go round carol singing after dark but no one was bothered (there were usually 2 or more of us but still...) theyd not do any of that these days

Yes, children are molly coddled too much, even taking into account the changing times. Having worked in a junior school for years I was left stunned at the behaviour of some 'satellite' parents who would have willingly come in and dressed and undressed their 7+ children at the begining and end of the day and for P.E. One mother regulary parked on the zig zag lines right outside the gate because 'They can't walk all that way' and it was a regular feature to have a complaint because a child had ignored the call for lunch, carried on playing , and then had to eat a meal that was not their first choice. One mother shouted at staff because her child had not been handed a certificate in assembly as the certificates hadn't arrived, and would be presented the next week. 'We are DEVASTATED' she screeched. It was pointed out to her that devastation is losing your entire family or getting a terminal disease, not waiting seven days for a certificate, but no doubt she felt she was preparing her child well to handle life's little disappointments in her own inimitable style.

I was left with my brother (3 years older) in the school holidays when mum was working and knowing what we got up to leaving my 3DSs alone for very long wasn't an option. It was a small wonder that nothing really bad ever happened to us. He did 'science experiments'-did you know custard powder was explosive? We once blew bubbles with a gas pipe and lit them! We broke a glass lightshade when we bounced on the settee and big brother hit it with his head. We also found all our Christmas presents and played with them. And lots of other things we never told our parents. Mind I've found out since they've grown up a few things my DSs did when they had time alone. DGCs will be strictly supervised!!!

No they dont CarlyD7,my youngest,16, wont even go to local shop,only place he goes is college & back on the special college bus.and yes he's been mollycoddled more than the older ones as his older siblings have spoiled him & his slightly older brother (21) as well

Oh goodness Rosina,im not THAT bad

I used to look after my two sisters all day in the holidays because Mum and Dad were at work. I was twelve and they were 7 and 1yr. I used to get together with my cousin who was a bit younger than me and had her two brothers to look after 5 and 7, and we used to go over the fields with a picnic and all the cows used to come over and try and eat it all, then we used to catch newts in the pond and play rounders. Baby laid on the blanket under the tree. We were so happy!! A bit dangerous though when I think back now, but it was just after the war, so I suppose things were so different then.

Well getting to/from school alone is common and allowed (by schools) from yr6 so a year younger than you going to grammar.

None of my DDs childhood friends died (thank god) but I did know children who died when I was growing up in accidents that wouldnt commonly happen today: playing without adult supervision near water, in a car crash with no seat belt and playing unsupervised around mechanical equipment.

So I do not have such a rose tinted view.
And even though I myself got through unscathed, it wasnt all "freedom" and character building. At times it was scary. I remember holidays where the kids would be sent out en masse to get out from the adults feet. There was some fun but it wasnt enid blyton and half the time I missed my mum and dad and wished I could be indoors (and warm!)

We're not on about that Patricia1958- OF COURSE we were brought up with hugs& love& kisses and PROPER FOOD,and so were our own kids! We were asked about if kids are more 'molly coddled' ( spoiled,i guess) nowadays,and i suppose they are yes, and we compared it how times had changed from back in the day- but NO ONE said we werent loved or fed! Geeze!

Hi NannyJan, I couldn't have a bicycle either and I can't ride a two wheeler now, but I have got ' Morgana' my trusty tricycle!

What I remember is the joy of being allowed to take the bus or the train on my own.

Sometimes I was a little scared but the feeling of being trusted to manage on my own was worth being a little scared.

Yes, a lot of parents mollycoddle their children today. The world is perhaps more dangerous, but there were men who exposed themselves to little girls or did worse when we were children too, but our mothers told us to run away and get a policeman or any woman to help.

Primary aged we would be in charge of the babies/toddlers when playing out.
We would get told off if they got injured.
At the time we felt guilty if it happened, but looking back? How unfair was that? We were only a couple of years older ourselves!

I was a latch key kid , cooking , taking buses etc . But I would never let my children out unaccompanied in UK. Too many children disappear. However in a village in Croatia my children ran wild or so they thought. In fact I had a very close eye on them. A few years ago my thirty year old daughter said ‘ mum I grew up thinking I was free as a bird and could do as I liked but I realise now I had a very strict upbringing - how did you manage that ? I shared all my tricks with her when her children were born.