Presents

you Say you don’t want to ask your brother, but surely that’s the only way you will know, as he put he hoped you would understand, I think he just means his children,

Please don't be upset. \lots of families have cut back on present buying - it is so much easier and saves money. Send a nice card and phone to say happy birthday/ Christmas.

PJN1952 how thoughtless and unkind of your sister in law . A pity your brother didn,t say to her my sister is family and not allow this to happen.

This year as we have moved 150 miles away from family I informed my cousins and brothers families that we are now only buying presents for our DC and ĎGC. We are still sending cards but that's our limit. We are now both retired and on state pension with limited savings ie not much.
Previously we had always bought for the whole extended family ( 14 children and 12 adults not including my own 3 DC and 3 DGC ) often with no thank you or acknowledgement or even a card from most of them. I don't think it went down well but can not afford it anymore.

I try to cut my gift list but fail! I told my niece and her children I was only going to buy for my chidren and grandchidren. Nearer to Christmas I felt guilty and bought them a voucher for a nice restaurant. Ended up costing me more than before!

I’m sure when you’re brother said ‘family’ he was meaning his wife / children & grandchildren just not the wider family . Don’t fret and worry about the birthday present question just ring him and ask , as a family we have cut back with presents , everyone can buy what they want all year now I think birthdays and Christmas have lost their sparkle in such a material world

I have cut present buying back immensely, only buy for certain family members now, I prefer for birthdays to send special cards ( I have a friend who makes lovely handmade personalised cards, for a reasonable price, including a donation to a cancer charity, so a win win situation ). The lotto ticket is a good idea, as is a scratch card, both easy to send inside a card, and even better if they win !! I once gave a scratch card as a xmas present and it won £40, so that was really good for the recipient.

Love Christmas and Birthdays-giving not receiving!
Have given as gifts -leopard sponership, goats for a family,bike for a nurse/midwife and other similar items not always expensive and better than socks every time.
gifts from charity shops,donations to CS etc.
We have cut down the amount of presents we buy,but for lonely elderly friends and family a small gift can bring a lot of pleasure,even a visit to have a drink of tea.
Home made gifts are so lovely to receive.

just a card is fine....i gave up on presents long ago..