Children or best friends

Yes I would say my adult children are friends. Beey special friends that I love but still friends. I have worked with people their age and would call them friends so I don't see that it is a problem. They are in their 30s and don't need parenting any more.

I just want to say I have 4 children 2 girls and 2 boys my youngest daughter who is 32 is my daughter and 1 of my best friends were always there for each other and she is the mother to my 2 lovely grandsons and I proud of the way she has brought them up

My son and daughter are 34 and 32 and I consider them my best friends along with my husband. Our relationship have evolved into friends as they've grown up. My mum is 93 and until her dementia she was a best friend too. All relationships are different and that goes with friendships. I have different relationships with all my friends and that includes my children. My eldest son died 10 years ago age 26. I always say I lost my baby, my child and my one of my best friends. Because he was. So yes my adult children are my friends.

Sadly, I think many difficulties are caused nowadays by parents wanting to be their child's friend and not their parent. It doesn't work. I see some Mums and Dads away out clubbing with their adult children. I don't think thats healthy. Children whether young or adult need their own friends. They need to learn to navigate their own friendships and relationships.

It is quite possible for an adult child to have their own circle of
friends and the parent to have their own circle of friends and
the adult child and parent to have a close friendship.

Setting boundaries for a daughter in her 30’s and 40’s ! sorry
but that’s silly.

I think its perfectly possible to be friends with an adult child.
That doesn't mean going out raving together, or not having boundaries, though.

I think its probably easier to have boundaries as an equal, grown up person, than it is if you continue to treat them like children who need "gently" talking to and pussyfooting around.

You choose your friends; you do not choose your children or the adults they will become. I love my adult children to bits - they are fine people - and I know that they love me, but knowing them as I do, I certainly wouldn’t choose then as friends!

My sons are my friends and equals. They are middle-aged dads themselves now and I hope they can have as good a relationship with their children as I have with them. My eldest GD, now 28 is also a friend.

Fiachna I’m sorry but I couldn’t disagree more with your post.
I think a lot of difficulties are caused by parents continuing to treat their offspring like small children, trying to control their lives, giving unsolicited advice and generally not respecting boundaries.

I’ve never been out clubbing with my children, but that’s because I’ve never been out clubbing.

But when they were younger, we belonged to a sailing club that other families, as well as single people, belonged to. One of the good things about it was the mix of ages and how everyone socialised together without artificial age divisions.

My children are adults and set their own boundaries, I stopped set boundaries for them a very long time ago. I think some parents have very strange relationships with their adult children, setting boundaries and pussy footing around them in case they kick off. I'm just glad I have my kids and not other peoples. We don't have any boundaries, we talk about anything and everything and we never kick off cos we're all adults.

Agree with your view too Jane. Yes, you can do things together as a family too. For me though, I see some strange parent/child relationships.