Do you have housekeeping money?

GG I have no idea whether everyone prior to the change of law was ‘happily getting bank accounts’ - how could I? I do know, however that I and many others were.
But I’m now getting rather bored with this petty pickiness, so I’m off to bed

Although for most of our working lives, and now that we are retired, my husband brings in far more money than I do, we have always had joint current and savings accounts, even before we were married. On the whole, this works quite well because I don't have extravagant tastes and would not spend a significant amount of money without discussing it with my husband first. In theory this applies to him also although, in practice, whatever the outcome of the "discussion" - he tends to go ahead anyway! To be fair, I am more pessimistic and cautious than he is and the house alterations which we have made, and which were probably well worth doing, I would have been too indecisive to go ahead with, ultimately to the detriment of our home.

The idea of being allocated a set amount of "housekeeping money" does not appeal to me at all. Although it could result in a very generous allowance, it seems to me that it also takes control away from one party, and could result in the person bringing in the most money also allocating themselves a much greater proportion of the income. Personally, I would find that upsetting though I can see some people might feel quite comfortable with that arrangement.

Yes but I have to supplement it. DH has no idea of household items including food increasing in price. Never had a joint account as neither of us could mentally cope with it. DH knows to the penny what he has in account and what he has spent but I am not so meticulous. I know what is there and how much I have but it would be too stressful to immediately note each loaf of bread/bottle of wine! He is so meticulous about everything that when he cooks if the recipe says 15 minutes then it is 15 minutes regardless of if it is actually cooked or not hence why 2 of us could not stomach hard tagliatelle tonight and the baby spat it out after trying to chew it for 10 minutes but he managed to eat it all but considered cooking it for longer next time! There will not be a next time!!!!

If you get "bored" with your "petty pickiness" bathsheba why do it?

Next time you make a personal attack I will simply report you. There really is no need for such comments.

When we married (1964), I was earning more than my hubbie. However, only his salary was accepted by bldg societies for mortgage purposes. Thank Goodness, the old LCC had started a scheme of giving 100% mortgages based, totally, on the valuation of the property -and this is what enabled us to step onto the housing ladder.
Back then both our salaries were paid into a join account, and monies paid out as necessary.
Sometimes in the 70's, I did set up a bank account in my own name, where I kept a small amount of money -for emergencies!!
I can remember in the late 1960's a divorced female friend of ours (a teacher), having to ask my husband to sign for her to get HP for some furniture - so daft as she earned more, and had more job security, than my hubbie!!! But HP was no permitted without a male guarantor.

No-one has personally attacked you, GG.
Neither I, nor Bathsheba, nor the others who have simply pointed out that they had their own bank accounts in the 60’s, after you asserted that women couldn’t have their own bank accounts till 1975.

Never had it. We are the same as Mr & Mrs Kitty

Eloethan I think a set amount worked when we were first married because we were saving for the deposit for a house into a joint building society account, even though they only considered DH'S salary for the amount of the loan.

Thank you janeainsworth. This has really got beyond ridiculous now. Reporting me? What on earth for? ??????

When my DH’s father died his mother didn’t have a single thing in her name. No access to a bank account either . My husband became the sole heir (for a few days) until he signed it all over to his poor mum. Long story involving greed, greed and more greed.

Meant to add that DH and I have always had a joint account, although he has very little to do with money these days.

No-one has personally attacked you, GG. Neither I, nor Bathsheba, nor the others who have simply pointed out that they had their own bank accounts in the 60’s, after you asserted that women couldn’t have their own bank accounts till 1975.

I do wonder how carefully you read things janeainsworth and perhaps therein lies the challenge. I did not assert that women couldn’t have their own bank accounts till 1975 although you are now choosing to interpret it that way. I simply said that was when the law changed and women could not be stopped from having a bank account in their own name. A simple, unarguable fact.

Maybe your standards are different to mine but there has been rude directly personal comment. I accept that there are people who think being rude in a personal way is okay because you can't see the person you are attacking but I don't think those are GN's rules, are they?

No never have.
I buy the food etc and dh pays the bills it works well for us.
My mother had housekeeping and I don`t remember my father refusing her if she needed a little extra.

gillybob- reminds me of my dear and wonderful neighbour in the UK in our second house. She did not know how much her husband earned, about his pensions, didn't have a check book and had never seen any paperwork/accounts. She had become very good at her own clever accounting with the housekeeping money- saying she needed extra to buy clothes for the kids, then buy them from Corah's seconds shop instead of M&S so she could keep the difference for herself.
He would do all the food shopping on Saturday morning- on his own- and she had to cook for the week with what HE bought- same menu every week. Wednesday evening was steak night- for him only of course- sausages for her and the kids. It used to make me scream, but she seemed happy with it- and found it quite normal.

And both came from very middle-class backgrounds- he a manager in a textile factory. When he died very quickly and unexpectedly- she knew absolutely nothing- had never written cheque, etc. Fortunately they had a friend who was a solicitor and who helped her with everything.

I've a feeling that would come under the coercive control laws now Jura.

Being pedantic here, and have read the post twice which stated that:

it wasn't until 1975 and the Sex Discrimination Act that a British woman could open a bank account in her own name

Then some of us pointed out, very politely, that we did in fact hold bank accounts in our own names way before then.
I didn't require a counter signature from a male to open a current account and a savings account.
I also had car insurance in my own name, no male named on the insurance as my father didn't drive.

I don't think the law prevented these things, rather it was that the 1975 Act stated that it was illegal for these rights not to be offered.

Sounds very similar to the way my DH’s parents operated jura2 . He called the shots. Full stop. They lived in real poverty with very few home comforts at all . Coal fire, no telephone, twin tub washing machine, black and white TV, with a set top aerial so it was permanently snowing........Everything in the house was ancient. Is used to feel so sorry for his mum . When he died we did manage to get her a few bits like a microwave/grill (her most favourite thing ever) and a colour TV with a proper aerial.

Found this quote:

Women were seen as a high-risk investment by banks als little as just 50 years ago. It wasn’t until 1975 that women could open a bank account in their own name.

Single women still couldn't apply for a loan or credit card in their own name without a signature from their father, even if they earned more, as recently as the mid-Seventies."

That's a quote taken from the Telegraph, by the way. .

Thank you Callistemon you’ve put it very well.

No, I don't have housekeeping money.

I don't think the law prevented these things, rather it was that the 1975 Act stated that it was illegal for these rights not to be offered.

I think that is what I have just pointed out Calistamon so we agree. However, those who did have bank accounts were still small in number - unless I am wrong in this belief and you have statistics to show differently - and many women were still "controlled" because the law allowed that to happen prior to the 1975 act.

You summed that up perfectly Callistemon.

I have had my bank account since I got my first proper job in 1969 and I was paid monthly which was not the norm in those days,but it taught me how to budget my money well.
My lovely husband who is no longer with us never gave me house keeping monies we both had our own accounts always and drew out what we needed as and when,I did keep a separate account for child benefit when it became payable for the children and used that for their clothes and shoes when needed to buy them.If ever my husband received bonus's from work he always gave me half to buy myself treats or put towards my annual holiday with my DD.

We've always had joint accounts and paid for everything out of them, so no, I've never had housekeeping money given to me. When I stopped work to have the DC, I found it a bit difficult to get over the feeling that all the money coming in, and to which I always had full access, was earned by DH, particularly if I wanted to buy him a birthday or Christmas present.

When we got married in 1974 I was working and DH was still a student, but we couldn't get a mortgage in my name even though I was earning enough to pay for it, just because I was a woman.

Yes, perfectly summed up callistemon. I do like explanations to be clear and your understanding of the issue precisely matches my own.