Will you leave a letter?

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

My father left me a letter with his will. I have never sobbed so much in my life when I read his words and have never been able to read it again. I’m crying just typing this. Was it a good thing? I think so as his words from beyond the grave were a huge surprise.

The only letters my Mum and Dad left me was a box of their love letters, written 60+ years ago, which I have still not been able to open. One day ...

I did leave letters for members of my family when I was in hospital for surgery, just in case I didn't survive . We're not good in my family about saying how we feel, so I thought that letters were better than nothing .

I have written letters to my children and grandchildren which are with my will. I left them with my solicitor and I also have copies at home kept with a copy of my will. I’ve never been left a letter by any family and now I’ve written mine I often wish my parents had and what they would say. Obviously I’ll rewrite the letters if circumstances change.

I'm glad to be reminded of this. I did do letters some years ago but it's time to hunt them out and re-write them as some circumstances have changed.

I have written letters for my husband and boys. Also two friends... but they have since been destroyed!!!... so be careful what you pen!!!...... and remember what you have put down, but the letters can be updated over the years as your family grows. I think it’s a lovely idea. But yes, agree nothing is more important than actual saying to the people in person the words I LOVE YOU

My dad died recently and while clearing out the family home my sister and I came across letters that my mum had written to us both. I'm not sure when she'd written them but I suspect it was when she was very ill and was worried she might not have time to say a proper goodbye - and as it turned out, she was correct and didn't in the end. Why dad didn't give them to us before now I don't know, but he was a difficult character unfortunately.

They were incredibly moving letters, telling us how much she loved us and how proud she was of us both, and that she wished she'd told us that more often. She encouraged us to always be kind to each other, acknowledging how irritating sisters can be(!) but asking us to always look out for each other.

I'ts lovely to have these words from her, eight years after she died. I miss her terribly, but her letter has obviously been written with so much love from a mum and I feel very privileged to be her daughter.

My Dad always said that l should write a book, stories of my life and Nursing days, but it will never happen, too many home truths and horror stories from my childhood, a dark place that thankfully l have moved on from and have no wish to revisit, either by writing it down, or reliving it in my mind, its just too much emotional pain to ever revisit. Thankfully the main culprits have passed away now, and my life with my DH and DDs has been a fairly happy one, but certainly l wont be leaving them letter to be opened after l have gone.

I think maybe I will write a letter whilst still here.
We sometimes don’t have/make the time to say how we feel.
So perhaps put aside a little time & write them now.

When he was dying my dad got his partner to write a letter to me and my sister saying how much he and mum loved us and were proud of us. This really, really upset me because in sixty odd years he'd never said anything like that to me. I grew up thinking I wasn't good enough.

I've always told my DD and DGS how much I love them and praise them a lot.

MamaCaz same here your post brought tears to my eyes.

Gaunt47 Can I just mention that it is enormously useful and life enhancing if grandparents could put together a scrap book of their lives for grandchildren and those who come after?
Absolutely! I think it's important to leave something of yourself behind. No-one knows your life as well as you do, especially with the passing of time. There are so many things that change during a lifetime and these changes will be fascinating to the younger ones when they themselves get older. Some of the GN threads contain detailed nostalgic memories of life in the 1950s for instance but how many grans write those memories down for their family?

I would have loved my late dh to have left me a letter somewhere.

I am impressed at how organised you all seem to be. It has made me think - it wouldn’t have occurred to me to write a letter. I wish my Mum and Dad had.

Just to add, while she was still with it and relatively organised, my mother put all necessary information/instructions and a copy of her will, i.e. everything that would be needed by executors, plus her letter, in a particular briefcase, so that we’d know what to look for after she died.

I doubt she’d ever envisaged going on for so long after she lost mental capacity, but I keep thinking that dh and I should do the same, and inform dds about where to find it.

And 'once in a lifetime' is playing on the radio, making it even worse!

OMG, I wish I hadn't posted. I'm in tears now.

But it doesn't take a letter.
We were never a touchy-feely family, but the week before my terminally-ill dad died, he blew a kiss as I left his house after a visit. He knew the end was very near, and that one action spoke a thousand words, and will stay in my memory for ever.

My mother left one, written before she had the dementia that lasted for around 15 years.
By the time she died at 97 she hadn’t known any of us for a long time, so it was lovely to have that letter - it was like having her former self back again.

I hope I get around to writing one before I go doolally, or get run over by a bus or something. Possibly coronavirus now, eeek, I’d better find a pen and paper....

Possibly, if I knew I was dying, and felt up to it, I might leave some letters.

More important than that though, yesterday I finally had that all-important 'what do you want to happen when you die' conversation that I have wanted to have for some time now. It was actually with one of my lovely dils (initiated by her!), rather than one of my sons, but no less important for that

BlueBelle that reminded me. I too kept the last birthday card my parents sent me.

No because I think it would be too upsetting for my DC and DGC. Anyway I tell them regularly that I love them and they do the same.

No I won't be, and my parents didn't. We were a close family and were always in touch.
Can I just mention that it is enormously useful and life enhancing if grandparents could put together a scrap book of their lives for grandchildren and those who come after? Experiences, a few photos perhaps, memories, souvenirs, when they first saw a TV and other technological gizmos which children take for granted nowadays. There are books, and probably online guidance for all I know, to help putting such a book together.