Time for another great Gransnet story!

The bullet whizzed past his left ear and hit a passing reindeer full in the flank. ‘Ouch’ bellowed the deer, ‘that hurt’. A talking reindeer?? Whaaat the heck! ‘Of course I can talk - I’m Sven from Frozen’ .............

‘And I was sent here from Disney to try and sign up the future queen to appear in our next production. But if she’s not available, well, any spare duchess would do’

"Queen!" yelled the Prince. "There's only one Queen and I'm married to her! But there are heaps of duchesses. Take any of them. Take them all!"
"No need to shout," said Sven, "which one is prettiest?"

“I couldn’t possibly comment on that, more than my life’s worth, I would be accused of favouritism.
I will just say one of them is in Norfolk at the minute, the other one, well Frogmore, Vancouver, Los Angeles, can’t keep up with where she is. Maybe stick with the one over here now you’ve come all this way. Not sure if she can act though. Now the other one.....”

...of course there are always the York sisters/princesses. They both have incredible headwear, which is what you need in a Princess: the ability to carry off a good fancy dress. They’re probably down in Windsor hiding out with the Black Prince. The Royal Train leaves Perth at midnight - you’ll probably just make it. There’s a stable carriage at the rear - very comfortable & plenty of feed. Just ring your bell & they'll let you on ......

"You know," said Sven "I'm inclined to drop the whole business and disappear back to LA. There could be someone there." And with one shake of his mighty head he

Galloped towards the magical forest where he came across a bambi lying in the undergrowth. Wheres your mother dear he said softly...

A big tear fell from Bambi’s huge eyes.

“She’s dead” he sobbed, “killed by a hunter”.

"After becoming famous because of our film, it all went to her head and she became hooked on magic mushrooms which grow here in our forest and she lost the ability to outrun hunters", Bambi cried. But I'm going to....

.....Leave my child ALONE,came a roar from behind a nearby willow. The most beautiful, voluptuous doe appeared before him, slavering from her mouth, her eyes on fire.......

Oops x twice ?

It was the ghost of Bambi’s mother.

Looking amazing as she'd been re-styled by Gok Wan and had her make up professionally done by

A very Dear friend called Cupid
She had a whole herd of friends who were very useful particularly one who's nose was very shiny so she used .....

to sing "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" to him, but he took offence and charged towards her and......

Fell down a ravine, losing many carefully wrapped Christmas presents. Father Christmas saw this debacle and grunted

"It's your own fault, I told you to use that face powder I gave you"