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Sfuneral attendance

(26 Posts)
Elizabeth1 Wed 18-Mar-20 18:17:58

Who’s got the most recent advice on funeral attendance. I’m pleased to say the family of a deceased friend has advised all mourners retire back home after the interment but there’s still going to be a service at the crematorium I’m trying to persuade my stubborn dh not to go you grans know what men are like they can be so stubborn help

annsixty Wed 18-Mar-20 18:25:24

Pay your respects at home while reflecting on the friend and their life.
Dont risk any more lives .

Grannmarie Wed 18-Mar-20 18:35:31

Hello, Elizabeth,

we attended my cousin's funeral today. It was a graveside service and burial, no church service but that was my Aunt's wishes.

There were a fair amount of mourners, some stood well apart, social distancing. Although I had heard about no handshakes/ hugs at funerals now, most people shook hands with the bereaved mother. Many were wearing gloves.

After the interment, we retired home, although we were all invited to the traditional funeral tea.

Not sure if this will help you, Elizabeth 1, every situation is different and personal.

So sorry for your loss.

Elizabeth1 Wed 18-Mar-20 20:47:01

Thank you everyone for telling your own experiences I hope my dh comes to his sense before Monday I’m sure he can pay his respects at a later date when things have calmed down

kittylester Wed 18-Mar-20 20:59:56

Our next door beighbour of 30 yrs died a while ago and his funeral is to be held next Tuesday.

It's a huge dilemma! The church, crematorium and reception afterwards will be really well attended as he had lived in, and been involved with,the village for over 40 years.

It seems wrong not to mark his passing but, also, dangerous to go to the funeral.

lemongrove Wed 18-Mar-20 21:14:58

We have just had the same dilemma here ( almost exactly as
You say Kitty.)
We didn’t go. Couldn’t risk it for DH’s sake.

mumofmadboys Wed 18-Mar-20 21:21:10

I am going to a dear friend's funeral tomorrow. My DH ( retired vicar) is taking the service. A lot of people have sent their apologies. We intend to go to the lunch afterwards. Afterwards we will socially isolate again. It can't be helped and we have no choice.

52bright Wed 18-Mar-20 21:28:53

Very difficult. I would be inclined to attend the ceremony to support the family but not go on to any social event afterwards. In these difficult times we all have to make difficult decisions regarding what seems best. Sad to lose a valuable member of your community. Take the decision which seems best to you flowers

Greenfinch Wed 18-Mar-20 22:02:02

We had the same problem. My niece died a few weeks ago and the funeral is next Monday. We had decided to go for my sister in law's sake but changed our minds with the extra advice given last Monday. It was in Bath and we intended to go by train and stay the night in a Premier Inn. My sister in law herself advised us not to go so we shall just quietly remember our niece at the appropriate time. I think someone is going to record the service so we might be able to "join in " at a later date.

cornergran Wed 18-Mar-20 22:08:39

We attended a funeral last Friday, talking today we agreed if it had been this Friday we wouldn’t have gone. It’s virtually impossible to keep separate at a funeral service. There are many hard decisions no one thought we’d have to make.

fiorentina51 Wed 18-Mar-20 22:29:22

My aunt's funeral was held yesterday. It was sparsely attended but that was perfectly understandable. We, her immediate family, attended the service and burial and took the usual precautions.
The priest who conducted the service told us that there was a strong possibility that funerals would be stopped soon, meaning no ceremony or service, just straight to the crematorium or cemetery.

JuliaM Wed 18-Mar-20 22:59:57

Most modern Crematoriums have facilities for the funeral to be video relayed via the internet, allowing those who cannot attend in person, to follow the proceedings online.

A traditional burial funeral may not be available to those who have died after contracting the Corona virus for health and safety reasons, at least every trace of the virus is distroyed during the Cremation process.

Cabbie21 Wed 18-Mar-20 23:13:00

Churches have suspended public services now, though I think it may still be possible to hold a service for just the immediate family only, so I guess that solves everyone’s dilemma.
A friend’s husband has just died, so she will arrange a private service and possibly hold a Service of Thanksgiving at a much later date when all this is over.

Callistemon Wed 18-Mar-20 23:28:07

We were going to one today but were advised that only a couple of members of very close family would be there, everyone else was asked not to go.

Marydoll Wed 18-Mar-20 23:38:01

My poor friend's son is being buried on Friday, it will be a private service for only close family.
Originally the church would have been full, but the Catholic Church in Scotland has now insisted that all funerals must be close family only. The lunch afterwards has been cancelled.

I'm upset about it, but relieved the decision has been made for my husband, as he wanted to go, but was afraid of bringing an infection back. I'm in lockdown and was very upset at not being able to go, but common sense must prevail.

Elizabeth1 Thu 19-Mar-20 10:04:53

It’s a new day a new dawn there’s a song in there somewhere
My DH has come to his senses no funeral attending on Monday he says he doesn’t like being told by me not to attend that’s that then sorted I’m pleased to say think I’ll get another 50 years out of him grin

harrigran Thu 19-Mar-20 10:50:21

My cousin's funeral is on Friday and we have been told by funeral directors that only five people may attend the service in church and then at crematorium.

Eglantine21 Thu 19-Mar-20 10:57:56

I didn’t go to my father in law’s funeral earlier this week.

He didn’t mind😬

Seriously, he was an army man and would have been the first to say “Obey orders!”

Greenfinch Thu 19-Mar-20 12:38:51

grin. Seriously I don't think anyone who has died would want loved ones to put themselves in danger.

Nonnie Thu 19-Mar-20 12:52:27

A friend died a few days ago and the funeral is on Monday. They were advised by the vicar and the funeral director to only have very close family at the funeral. We are all respecting that and will be thinking of them/praying for them at the time of the funeral. The family don't need the added hassle of wondering if they have spread the virus.

Daddima Thu 19-Mar-20 12:59:57

I’ve just been speaking to the funeral director about the Bodach’s gravestone , and he’s telling me that Glasgow diocese have stipulated only graveside commitals or crematorium services, and St Andrew’s and Edinburgh say family and close friends only.

Jane10 Thu 19-Mar-20 13:13:22

We were at a funeral on Tuesday. It was a damp day so lots of us waited in the waiting room. Lots of talk re social distance but I can't say it happened. People were pleased to see old friends and really wanted to catch up.
In the crematorium the humanist celebrant told us that we should smile or nod at each other. Absolutely no hugs or handshakes then proceeded to shake the hands of all the bereaved family. We didn't go back to the tea afterwards.
In summary, lip service paid to distancing ourselves but it didn't really happen.

Marydoll Thu 19-Mar-20 13:14:50

Paisley Diocese are still having funerals in church, but only with close family members present. My friend's son is being buried tomorrow, but may yet change.
It'a a terrible time for the bereaved..

Jane10 Thu 19-Mar-20 13:15:01

I'd say there were about 100 at the funeral 2 days ago.

Marydoll Thu 19-Mar-20 13:17:35

The guidelines for Catholic funerals were issued yesterday.

The difficulty is that there will alwaysbe people who decline to follow them. sad