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I tried, I really did......

(399 Posts)
phoenix Sat 28-Mar-20 15:19:11

Hello all, extra good wishes to you all.

Well, the newspaper (only once a week) needed to be collected from the village shop, so Mr P asked what else we needed. There were things that he had been unable to get from his supermarket trip, so I jotted them down, in clear, large print, giving additional verbal instructions suggestions.

(The village shop now has a "non browsing" policy, and have set up a counter in the doorway. Shoppers are encouraged to arrive with a written list, which they give to the staff member.)

His first attempt was aborted, he was shock to see the queue stretching 200 metres back down to the village square!

He came home, but said he would go back in an hour or so.

So, we had a light lunch (cheese on toast) and off he went.

I was planning to make creamed cabbage to go with the chicken hot pot for Sunday, so my list included a small green cabbage, and some cream.

I had actually said to himself "Don't get a white cabbage, it won't work, and if they don't have green cabbage, we won't need the cream, and we can just use the extra broccoli that you bought that we didn't need yesterday. He looked at me and nodded, as if to say "Roger! Willco!" and off he went.

The bit regarding "If no lettuce, get mushrooms, we will have to have steak, chips & mushrooms instead of our usual steak, salad & jp's" (Not as healthy, but needs must wink) seemed to have been taken on board.

However I'm now the less than proud owner of a very large white cabbage, and a large pot of cream confused.

I will list the white cabbage on the village FB page, there must be someone with a large family who can use it! (Can be left in a bag on our doorstep for collection) and I suppose I could make creamed broccoli!

Before anyone castigates me (big word for a Saturday) I really do appreciate the fact that Mr P does get the shopping, this post is meant to be a bit of lighthearted stuff!

Charleygirl5 Sat 28-Mar-20 15:26:09

OMG, I only had to read it once and I understood exactly what you wanted and what to do if something was not available.

At this rate, you will be looking for another part-time job to pay for the "extras".

There are times when I am happy to be on my own and this is one of them!

Rosalyn69 Sat 28-Mar-20 15:26:58

It made me smile. Thank you.

SirChenjin Sat 28-Mar-20 15:28:48

grin That all sounds very familiar..!! Can you make a cream based sauce for your steaks perhaps?

Mr Chen only ever listens to the very end of my suggestions so “please don’t buy chicken” translates to “buy chicken” - then to prove what a great listener he is he buys lots and lots of chicken and is as pleased as punch with himself as he waits for his ‘Best Chicken Buyer’ medal. If he knew how many times I rolled my eyes inwardly at him during the day he’d be surprised. I find I have to write everything down in minute detail (sometimes with actual drawings) and then text him to remind him to look at the list! He’s lovely and everything but dear god... confused

Ohmother Sat 28-Mar-20 15:31:41

Thank you for the funny post. My DH came back with his paper and a litre of semi-skimmed. When I asked where my sensitive skin bath gel was he said, ‘Oh, I didn’t go down that isle.’ 😤

Eglantine21 Sat 28-Mar-20 15:35:13

We have come to an understanding.

When he says “no” it means tell me that again.

When he says ‘Yes” it means he wasn’t listening.......

Laughterlines Sat 28-Mar-20 15:39:43

If you whip up the cream, add spoon of icing sugar and some alcohol and freeze (no stirring required) you will have adult ice cream.

Sit and eat it all yourself. Reward for being so patient.

I once let husband do supermarket shop. Spent all the money on chocolate cakes and sweet biscuits and a football magazine.


Greymar Sat 28-Mar-20 15:41:54

What is creamed cabbage please?

Dottynan Sat 28-Mar-20 15:48:24

I send my husband with photos on his phone of everything I want. I only allow him to do a small top up shop as if he did a full shop we would soon run out of money.

Beechnut Sat 28-Mar-20 15:48:42

Years ago I text my DH to get some ‘pots’ on his way home from work. He came home with nothing and said he didn’t know what I meant. I suppose to be fair I should have written potatoes but instead I used the abbreviation I would put on a shopping list for me.

phoenix Sat 28-Mar-20 15:59:16

Greymar you can buy it ready made in some supermarkets, usually labelled as "creamed cabbage & spring greens" but I sometimes make my own.

Cook cabbage/spring greens as normal (I usually shred quite finely & steam, but whatever works for you)

Finely chop a smallish onion, and saute/fry in a little oil until tender. Drain on kitchen paper.

Mix cooked cabbage and onion, season to taste (black pepper and freshly grated nutmeg are good) add some cream, stir through to mix, bung in dish, heat through, serve.

Gemini17892 Sat 28-Mar-20 16:02:39

That rang a bell in this house. 🤣😂🤣
Those instructions were waaaaay too complicated for a 👨🏼 🙂! Ssh! Don’t tell the p c brigade I said that. My OH only does black or white. No shades of grey. So if I ask him to leave the door open on a hot day, he will also leave it open on a cold day. “ because you said leave it open ! “

gillyknits Sat 28-Mar-20 16:05:51

My husband always buys too much of anything. I might say carrots and he brings a 2kilo bag. (There are only two of us.)
I have learned to be extremely exact. He takes his phone but if he’s in doubt,he doesn’t call. 🙄

mumofmadboys Sat 28-Mar-20 16:19:20

I gave my DH a list once. It said 3 pears. The greengrocer and DH decided it meant 3 lbs peas. The only time I shelled peas methinks!

Gemini17892 Sat 28-Mar-20 16:24:46

This is such a good thread , Phoenix . I thought I was the only one with this problem.

Charleygirl5 Sat 28-Mar-20 16:28:09

Where may I ask did you lot find these supposedly intelligent morons? Surely they are not related?!

Greymar Sat 28-Mar-20 16:28:57

That sounds tasty and kind of semi healthy!

Davida1968 Sat 28-Mar-20 16:33:00

Write it all down - Mr 1968 shops well with clear instructions. And sometimes he adds some thoughtful touches of his own, like custard slices....

phoenix Sat 28-Mar-20 16:34:44


As if by magic, my white cabbage has become a small green cabbage and a bag of kale!

Charleygirl my beloved late step father was very intelligent, qualified barrister and commercial pilot, but not an ounce of common sense!

Mr P is an engineer, letters after his name etc, but............. Mind you, might do better if he put his damn glasses on! Humph!

May7 Sat 28-Mar-20 16:37:27

My DH only listens to the first thing I say and then switches off or so I supposed. Now hes retired and I am spending a lot of time with him I've discovered its hearing loss. blush
Trip to Audiologist 2 hearing aids later problem solved.

Now he keeps telling me to turn my music down!!!!

Not been told to do that since I was a teenager turn down that Base you'll cause deafness when you're older shouts Dad.

Nothing wrong with my hearing grin

phoenix Sat 28-Mar-20 16:38:37

Greymar, yes, very tasty and can make a nice change, not so sure about the "healthy" though! However, as an accompaniment to the occasional meal, (chops, chicken etc) won't do much harmwink after all, it is mainly veg, just up to you how much cream you add...........

jacq10 Sat 28-Mar-20 16:41:05

Reminds me of the time, after about six months of newly wed bliss, I met my DH at lunchtime and told him I hadn't time in the morning to finish off preparing our evening meal and asked him to finish off the turnip (swede) and put pan on 10mins before potato one as I would be home before they needed drained, etc (said to make sure there was plenty water in pan). Entered house to hear a clanking noise, went through to kitchen and large whole swede was boiling away. Hadn't thought it would need cut into chunks - thank goodness there was still some water in the pan!! Another one was when he put out a beautifully arranged salad bowl with finely sliced courgette round the side - thought it was cucumber!!!

Grandad1943 Sat 28-Mar-20 16:43:22

Well, seeing as all these husbands always get the shopping so terribly wrong, perhaps their ever perfect wives could go and get the shopping themselves.

Problem solved. 😄

Grandmafrench Sat 28-Mar-20 16:57:04

Whaaaaat ? And deny ourselves this chance of a bit of fun?

SirChenjin Sat 28-Mar-20 17:01:08

Nah - we’ll just carry on as we are Grandad smile